My In-Laws Want to Visit After the Baby Is Born. Their Night “Routine” Fills Me With Dread.

Care and Feeding My husband just tunes them out. Photo illustration by Slate. Photo by Getty Images Plus. Sign up for the Slatest to get the most insightful analysis, criticism, and advice out there, delivered to your inbox daily. Care and Feeding is Slate’s parenting advice column. Have a question for Care and Feeding? Submit it here. Dear Care and Feeding, My husband “Richard’s” parents do not have a healthy relationship with alcohol, to put it mildly. Every evening, they have more than a few drinks of hard liquor. If they are going to be guests somewhere, they bring their own booze. The trouble is these drinking sessions always devolve into a loud and lengthy argument over every grievance each one has amassed over their 47 years of marriage. Richard and I are expecting our first baby in October, and my in-laws are eager to visit soon after the baby arrives. They (thankfully) live several states away, but Richard wants them to stay with us so they don’t have to pay for a hotel. For him, his parents’ alcohol-fueled battles are the norm, so he tunes it out. What can I do to convince my husband that the last thing I need after giving birth is having to deal with a pair of obnoxious drunks? —Tell Them It’s Time for AA Dear Tell Them It’s Time for AA, Be honest with your husband about wanting a lot of quiet and rest. Explain to him that after the baby comes, you’re worried about how you’ll all be adjusting. Also, just because they want to doesn’t mean you both have to allow them to visit soon after your baby is born if you’re not feeling up to it. When they do come to town, he could use an excuse to offer to pay for a hotel nearby for his parents. If I were him, I’d say, “We’re so glad you’re coming to help us! We’re going to still be trying to figure out our night routine and will really need some help during the day. We’d love to pay for a hotel that’s about a mile away so you both could get a good night’s rest and come help us during the day.” It might also encourage them to leave around dinner time when it’s time for them to start their drinking. But most of all, it’ll give you some time away to keep your sanity. There’s going to be a lot going on, and it’s actually true that you might really need them to come well-rested and ready to help during the day so that you can take a nap, fold clothes, take a shower, or do basically anything without a baby strapped to your chest. —Arionne More Advice From Slate How do I handle disparities between my two daughters? For the record, Everleigh is 24 and graduated from MIT; she currently holds an extremely well-paying job in computer engineering at a large company, and enjoys the rich lifestyle. Her girlfriend, Rooney, comes from family money, and is pretty much paying Everleigh’s way through her master’s degree, as well as the first house they bought together. The two of them resemble the perfect Instagram couple and act as such… Advice Family Kids Parenting