My Husband Went to the Farmer’s Market and Returned With a Gift. It’s Got to Go—But He Claims It Would Be “Cruel” to the Kids.

Care and Feeding I wish it hadn’t come to this. Photo illustration by Slate. Photo by GlobalP/Getty Images Plus. Sign up for the Slatest to get the most insightful analysis, criticism, and advice out there, delivered to your inbox daily. Care and Feeding is Slate’s parenting advice column. Have a question for Care and Feeding? Submit it here. Dear Care and Feeding, A little less than two weeks ago, my husband went to a farmer’s market. He brought home a goat from a man who could no longer keep it. The animal isn’t bad-tempered, but we live in a suburban neighborhood, and the thing is shitting everywhere and has almost entirely destroyed our backyard. The problem is our two kids (ages 4 and 6) have gotten attached to it already, and my husband is saying it would be “cruel” to take it away from them. I can barely keep up with keeping the yard clean! Can I make arrangements to send the goat to a rescue while my husband is out with the kids? —Someone Else Gets the Goat Dear Someone Else Gets the Goat, I’m going to be honest, when I started reading this question, I didn’t think it was going to go where we went. Normally, people write in about their spouses bringing home pets like dogs, cats, even lizards and snakes, but your husband wins the Care and Feeding award for most creative animal surprise. Still, I don’t believe in doing things behind a partner’s back. There could be some circumstances where you’re trying not to hurt someone’s feelings, but this isn’t that. You’ve got to have two conversations: one with your husband and one with your kids. You need to get down to the bottom of why your husband made such a huge decision for your whole family without talking to you first. This is big. Because you don’t want it to happen again. Remind him that grabbing a goat from the farmer’s market isn’t the same as a quart of goat’s milk (for many obvious reasons, one of which is that this might not even be allowed in your residential neighborhood!). Don’t stop talking until you’re both on some level of understanding. Talking to the kids can be simpler than you think. Explain to them that goats need space—lots of space! That means they need to live on farms and in wide, open spaces. Promise them that you can do more zoo and farm trips to see goats and more animals, but that for this goat to be happy and healthy, it needs the right home. —Arionne More Advice From Slate I have a 17-year-old daughter, “Melissa.” In Melissa’s AP English class, they got an assignment to write a report on a non-traditional prose work, specifically to analyze how it deviates from genre norms and what, if anything, was achieved by this. Melissa wrote hers without any input from me, which is normal for her classwork, which is always of high quality. Earlier today, I got a call from her teacher. Never miss new Slate Advice columns Get the latest from Prudie and our columnists in your inbox each weekday, plus special bonus letters on Saturdays. Advice Family Kids Parenting