My Husband Wants to Jump Start a Holiday Tradition With Our Toddler. He’s Just Too Young!

Care and Feeding Photo illustration by Slate. Photo by samgrandy/iStock/Getty Images Plus. Care and Feeding is Slate’s parenting advice column. Have a question for Care and Feeding? Submit it here. Dear Care and Feeding, At what age should a child be taken trick-or-treating? My husband, “Jack,” and I have a 2-year-old son, “Ethan,” and Jack wants to take him this year. I personally think Ethan is too young for candy and that it will be disruptive to his bedtime routine. Jack, on the other hand, has been eager to start doing “kid things” with Ethan since he was born and argues that there are parents who take even babies trick-or-treating. Should I allow this, or is it better to wait until our son is at least 3? —Trick or Treating Tension Dear Tension, Loosen up, buttercup. Half the joy in having a toddler is doing ridiculous stuff with them, like putting them in an adorable costume and parading them around the neighborhood for a short spell. You don’t have to stay out all night, and you don’t even have to let Ethan eat anything you’re uncomfortable with. For a child to live a full, rich life, bedroom routines will have to be disrupted once in a while. Dress that baby up as something insanely cute, take a bunch of pictures, walk around the neighborhood for 30 minutes and give your entire family the type of sweet memories that make a groggy morning worth it. You’re talking about waiting another year, but what’s the huge difference? This is less for Ethan than it is for Jack (and you, you just don’t realize it yet) and that’s OK! This will be good socialization for your son as well. Get that stick up out your bum and remember: a kid who is too young for candy won’t trip when you eat all his chocolate. Please keep questions short (<150 words), and don’t submit the same question to multiple columns. We are unable to edit or remove questions after publication. Use pseudonyms to maintain anonymity. Your submission may be used in other Slate advice columns and may be edited for publication. Dear Care and Feeding, I am the primary breadwinner in the family and start my shift as an ER doctor beginning in the early evening, leaving my husband, “Greg,” in charge of our 5-year-old daughter, “Amber.” This past weekend, the stupid asshole allowed Amber to watch A Nightmare Before Christmas. Now our daughter is afraid that Santa is going to leave her scary presents. Greg said he didn’t see any harm in letting her watch the movie; his excuse was he first saw it at the same age and was fine. Now I’m considering a drastic solution to put Amber’s fears to rest: telling her the truth that Santa isn’t real. However, I think my husband should be the one to break it to her it, since it was his fault she was frightened. Fair? —A Literal Nightmare Before Christmas Dear Nightmare, Longtime readers of this column may have noticed that I am a hardcore Santa defender. There are virtually any circumstances under which a child under 10 who is allowed to celebrate Christmas should be presented with the allegation that Kris Kringle isn’t real. What your husband did was silly, but if anyone is gonna cause a nightmare here, it’s you trying to ruin Santa for a 5-year-old! Sit Amber down and explain that the movie she watched was a dark, creepy take on the holiday designed for older kids, but that it is not a true depiction of the holiday. Show her Miracle on 34th Street, The Santa Clause and/or some other such films that positively show the truth, which is that Santa comes down from the North Pole each December to fill kids with holiday cheer. Take her to see Santa at the mall and ask him to explain that Nightmare is not a representation of Christmas, nor his business, in the slightest. And stop acting like such a stuffy ho-ho-ho and preserve that baby’s christmas magic. You have no more than five 5 years left of the purest Christmas joy you can give a kid, don’t waste it! —Jamilah More Parenting Advice From Slate My 2-year-old son is very attached to me (his mother). I don’t see any problem with this, but some family members (and even my spouse/his dad) have encouraged me to be less accommodating of him to push him away. I could use an outside perspective. Never miss new Slate Advice columns Get the latest from Prudie and our columnists in your inbox each weekday, plus special bonus letters on Saturdays. Advice Family Kids