My freeloading 32-year-old son won’t leave home — how do I get him out?

At 32, Amanda’s son is refusing to move out of his parents’ home (Picture: Getty) Faced with soaring rents and stagnant wages, millions of young adults are choosing to stay living with their parents longer in an effort to save for a deposit. But it’s one thing sheltering from the housing crisis and quite another exploiting the people who love you. For this week’s Money Problem reader Amanda, 67, from Hampshire, her son’s refusal to move out has become a major roadblock to her retirement. Stuck between wanting to help him and feeling it’s high time he flew the nest, she asked Metro consumer champion, Sarah Davidson, what her options are. The question… My son is 32 and has never left home. He pays no rent, contributes nothing to the bills and spends his salary — which I believe is around £35,000 — on himself. Ask Metro Use AI to go deeper into the stories you care about – powered by Metro and trusted publications. Ready to start your homebuying journey? You can access completely fee-free mortgage advice with London & Country (L&C) Mortgages, a partner of Metro. Customers benefit from: – Award winning service from the UK’s leading mortgage broker – Expert advisors on hand 7 days a week – Access to 1000s of mortgage deals from across the market Unlike many mortgage brokers, L&C won’t charge you a fee for their advice. Find out how much you could borrow online Mortgage service provided by London & Country Mortgages (L&C), which is authorised and regulated by the Financial Conduct Authority (registered number: 143002). The FCA does not regulate most Buy to Let mortgages. Your home or property may be repossessed if you do not keep up repayments on your mortgage. I have been too soft to say anything for years, but my husband and I are retiring and we need to downsize. Amanda and her husband were hoping to downsize in retirement (Picture: Getty) My son is furious that we are ‘forcing him out’ and has told my mum and sister that we are abandoning him, because he cannot afford to rent in our area. I feel guilty but I also feel taken advantage of. Are we legally allowed to ask him to leave and how do we do it without destroying our relationship? The answer… Amanda, you need to ditch the guilt immediately. You are not abandoning a vulnerable child; you are asking a 32-year-old man earning £35,000 a year to take responsibility for his own life. The reality is that your son has enjoyed a decade of consequence-free living at your expense. By paying no rent and no bills, he has had 100% disposable income. The fact that he has spent it all on himself rather than saving for a deposit is his problem, not yours. What do you think about Amanda's situation with her son? She should firmly ask him to leave.Check She should give him a deadline and help him transition.Check She should let him stay until he saves up for his own place.Check Amanda is right to feel taken advantage of.Check Sign up to Metro's The Slice newsletter for your guide to what's on in London, with trusted reviews, offers and giveaways. To answer your legal question first: yes, you are absolutely allowed to ask him to leave. Because he pays no rent and does not have a formal tenancy agreement, the law classifies him as an ‘excluded occupier’ or a bare licensee. This means he has very few legal rights to remain in the property. You do not need a court order to evict him — you simply need to give him ‘reasonable notice’ to leave. And while the law does not strictly define what ‘reasonable’ means in this context, in practice, 28 days is generally considered sufficient. Given he is family, you might choose to give him two or three months to find a place, but you must put this in writing and be absolutely rigid about the deadline. He claims he’s being ‘abandoned’ (Picture: Getty) His claim that he cannot afford to rent is a convenient excuse but the numbers do not back it up. A salary of £35,000 gives him a take-home pay of around £2,350 a month. Average private rents in the UK are high — currently £1,442 a month according to the latest Office for National Statistics figures. But that’s an average. A single person on his salary can definitely afford to rent a room in a house share or a modest one-bedroom flat in Hampshire, even if it means budgeting for the first time in his life. The harder question is how to do this without destroying your relationship. But think of it like this: the truth is, your relationship is already being damaged by his sense of entitlement and your growing resentment. You cannot control his reaction but you can control how you deliver the message. More Metro Money Problems Sit down with him, along with your husband, and present this as a non-negotiable financial reality rather than a punishment. Explain that you are retired, the house is being sold and he needs to find his own accommodation by a specific date, and avoid getting drawn into arguments about his spending habits or his claims of abandonment. Stick to the logistics. If you can afford it and want to, you could soften the blow by offering to pay the deposit on his first rental property. This removes his final excuse for staying and frames your boundary-setting as a supportive transition rather than an eviction. Deals of the Day Parents can save up to 30% on Kickers school shoes ahead of the new term The back-to-school hack that's helping parents avoid queues and sold-out sizes Could your hair be wavy rather than straight? This brand thinks so Could your star sign improve your skincare routine? This new beauty launch thinks so Best skincare for menopausal skin? This dermatologist-created treatment is tailored to you But either way, you must hold firm. You have spent 32 years putting a roof over his head — now it’s time for him to pay for his own. Do you have a story you’d like to share? Get in touch by emailing MetroLifestyleTeam@metro.co.uk Arrow MORE: I started a secondhand fashion business as a student — now I turnover £120,000 a year Arrow MORE: What I Own: I nearly passed on my £635,000 Surrey three-bed — then I remembered my golden rule Arrow MORE: Tory plan to boot foreign nationals from social housing ‘would target NHS staff’ The Slice Your free newsletter guide to the best London has on offer, from drinks deals to restaurant reviews.