My evil dad raped me in blind rage – then I was sick & horror reality dawned… mum’s reaction made it so much worse

AGED just 13, Allison was curled up by the fireplace when her father came home in a blind rage and raped her. A few weeks later, she was talking with friends at the playground when she passed out and woke up covered in her own vomit. She soon realised she was pregnant. Brave Allison, now 60, is speaking out about her horror ordeal after her rapist dad was finally sentenced Credit: SWNS Evil Clive Siddall, 81, was locked up more than 40 years after he committed his sick crimes Credit: SWNS Brave Allison Siddall, now 60, says she was forced to undergo an abortion without even understanding what it was. As she sobbed to her mum and confided in her about the horror ordeal, she kicked Allison out in disbelief. The mum-of-five is now speaking out and waiving her right to anonymity after her evil biological dad Clive Siddall, 81, was locked up – more than 40 years after he committed his sick crimes. He was only caught after she sought medical help for drinking problems and confided in her doctor about the trauma of her rape. In July, Clive was jailed for 12 years after being found guilty of one count of rape, one count of indecent assault on a girl under the age of 16, and four counts of indecent assault on a girl under the age of 14. Allison says the traumatic event still haunts her to this day Credit: SWNS Allison says she turned to alcohol to numb her pain Credit: SWNS Speaking after the sentencing, Allison said: “It is still haunting me now. I am grateful that he is locked away, I really am. “I just want to know why he would do this to me. He is an evil man.” Allison says she was aged 13 when her mum packed her a bag and told her that she would be going to live with her father. He came to pick her up and she moved in with him, his wife, and his two children, in Walton-on-Thames, Surrey. She says life was normal for the first few months, with Siddall barely home – until one day when Allison was left at the house alone. Allison was asleep in the living room when the brute attacked her, pinning her down and using his hand to stop her screaming. She said: “He came home in a mood, and he took it out on me. He did the unthinkable, and he ruined my life completely. Even to this day, I still remember it like it was yesterday.” “I was covered in bruises and there was lots of blood. It was a good few hours before I actually moved.” Allison continued with normal life afterwards and went to school the next morning, not truly understanding what had happened. But later, when she passed out on the playground, Siddall took her to see a doctor and she was informed that she was pregnant. She added: “The doctor said I was pregnant and I didn’t understand how it had happened. I couldn’t comprehend it at all. “I ran out of the doctor’s room crying my eyes out. Clive dragged me back in shouting that I needed an abortion. I didn’t even know what that was.” After the abortion, she was taken back to her mum’s house where she cried and told her what happened – but claims her mum didn’t believe her. Allison says her mum kicked her out as they disapproved of the abortion and didn’t believe what had caused the pregnancy. She said: “No one spoke to me. No one asked me anything. It took me a few days to get the courage up to say something. “I just wanted someone to talk to, someone to understand, someone to let me know what was going on and what had happened. “My mum went absolutely ballistic. She thought I was a bad person. I tried to explain to her that it was Clive but she wouldn’t believe me.” Allison went on to have five children. She is still severely traumatised and says she has nightmares every day of the rape – and even attempted to take her own life. She became anorexic, dropping to around six stone in weight, and used alcohol to numb her pain. The mum says she was drinking around one box of wine – the equivalent of up to four bottles – a night. Allison had always dreamed of becoming a nurse, but says this was also ruined by Siddall, as she was never able to return to school. She struggles to let people close and says she has “destroyed” every friendship a few months in. Allison said: “When I had my first glass of wine, I found that it numbed the pain, and I continued down that line. “It was a blackout to make me forget and not have the nightmares. I can’t form a relationship, so I am just alone.” Things came to a head four years ago when Allison sought help for the alcoholism, and her doctor reported the rape to police. Officers came to her door and she told them everything that happened. According to Surrey Police, when interviewed, Clive Siddall responded “not true”, and “no way” to the allegations put to him. He was charged in April 2024 with one count of rape, one count of indecent assault on a girl under the age of 16, and four counts of indecent assault on a girl under the age of 14. Following a trial at Kingston Crown Court in March, a jury found him guilty of all six offences. Siddall, formerly of Oxted, Surrey, was sentenced at Guildford Crown Court on July 14 to 12 years in prison. Though relieved to see him behind bars, Allison says she feels guilty that she hadn’t been able to get him convicted sooner – and fears her monster dad my have hurt other girls. She said: “I wish I had done this years ago. Back then nobody listened or really cared. “I feel a tremendous amount of guilt because if I was stronger back then I could have pushed someone to help.” You're Not Alone EVERY 90 minutes in the UK a life is lost to suicide It doesn’t discriminate, touching the lives of people in every corner of society – from the homeless and unemployed to builders and doctors, reality stars and footballers. It’s the biggest killer of people under the age of 35, more deadly than cancer and car crashes. And men are three times more likely to take their own life than women. Yet it’s rarely spoken of, a taboo that threatens to continue its deadly rampage unless we all stop and take notice, now. If you, or anyone you know, needs help dealing with mental health problems, the following organisations provide support: CALM, www.thecalmzone.net, 0800 585 858 Heads Together,www.headstogether.org.uk HUMEN www.wearehumen.org Mind, www.mind.org.uk, 0300 123 3393 Papyrus, www.papyrus-uk.org, 0800 068 41 41 Samaritans,www.samaritans.org, 116 123 Domestic abuse - how to get help DOMESTIC abuse can affect anyone - including men - and does not always involve physical violence. Here are some signs that you could be in an abusive relationship: Emotional abuse – Including being belittled, blamed for the abuse – gaslighting – being isolated from family and friends, having no control over your finances, what you where and who you speak to Threats and intimidation – Some partners might threaten to kill or hurt you, destroy your belongings, stalk or harass you Physical abuse – This can range from slapping or hitting to being shoved over, choked or bitten. Sexual abuse – Being touched in a way you do not want to be touched, hurt during sex, pressured into sex or forced to have sex when you do not consent. If any of the above apply to you or a friend, you can call these numbers: The Freephone National Domestic Abuse Helpline, run by Refuge on 0808 2000 247 for free at any time, day or night Men who are being abused can call Respect Men’s Advice Line on 0808 8010 327 or ManKind on 0182 3334 244 Those who identify as LGBT+ can ring Galop on 0800 999 5428 If you are in immediate danger or fear for your life, always ring 999 Remember, you are not alone. 1 in 4 women and 1 in 7 men will experience domestic abuse over the course of their lifetime. Every 30 seconds the police receive a call for help relating to domestic abuse.