My date’s revelation led me to storm out and delete his number

Nathan widened his eyes and shook his head, looking incredibly guilty (Picture: Getty Images) ‘My favourite holiday has to be Mauritius,’ said my date, Nathan*. ‘What were you doing in Mauritius?’ I asked, before adding, with a wry smile: ‘Was that your honeymoon?’ But rather than laughing at my joke, Nathan looked immediately sheepish and nodded silently. ‘Oh, so you’re divorced?’ I asked. It wasn’t a big deal. Life happens, and he was 10 years older than me, after all. But then, he slowly shook his head. Ask Metro Use AI to go deeper into the stories you care about – powered by Metro and trusted publications. And that, dear reader, was the moment I realised my first date in six years was with a married man. I was 26 years old and single when I met Nathan: six months out of a five-year relationship and definitely not looking to date. I didn’t have any apps installed. I needed a relationship detox and was focusing my energy on my friendships and career instead. With that in mind, I was throwing myself into social events – and, to my surprise, I was asked out by a confident, older man I met at a work event in Soho. I was taken aback by Nathan’s audacity, but that was most likely because the last guy who had asked me out was my ex, six years previously. I enjoyed Nathan’s light-hearted banter at the bar – he took the mick out of my Northern accent and teased me. He was flirtatious and asked me flat out if I had a boyfriend. ‘No, I went through a break-up in May and haven’t felt ready to date,’ I replied. A couple of days later, Nathan had planned our entire date (Picture: Getty Images) Nathan obviously liked a challenge. ‘I think you’re cute,’ he winked. ‘What’s your number?’ ‘Why not,’ I teased. I surprised myself at my boldness, but I was tipsy. Maybe it was a case of Dutch courage. A couple of days later, Nathan had planned our entire date: drinks, followed by stand-up comedy. As I set off on that damp, November night, I was nervous – it was my first date in almost six years. We got to know each other over drinks in a pub, where I bumped into my housemate. She was shocked to see me dressed up and out on a date – we’d had a conversation in the kitchen just a week ago about how I wasn’t ready to put myself out there, but we’d been like ships in the night, and I hadn’t seen her since then. ‘Oh wow,’ she winked, as she sidled past after being quickly introduced. We traded looks at each other as we laughed at the comedians’ anecdotes Quote Quote Despite my nerves, the conversation flowed and I was surprised to find myself having fun. I relaxed even more when we got to the stand-up comedy show. It was a great way to break the ice; laughter is very disarming. We traded looks at each other as we laughed at the comedians’ anecdotes, discovering we shared a similar sense of humour. During the interval, Nathan bought us a round of drinks and asked me what my favourite holiday had been so far. ‘Fiji during my gap year,’ I answered, instantly. ‘I’d been working in Sydney and saved up for the trip, it was paradise.’ Nathan teased me about my ‘predictable’ gap year before launching into his favourite holiday of all time: Mauritius. ‘Phenomenal,’ he said. ‘I stayed in one of those rooms that’s on stilts in the water.’ The conversation flowed and I was surprised to find myself having fun (Picture: Getty Images) Thus followed my honeymoon joke and my subsequent question: ‘Oh, so you’re divorced?’. At this point, Nathan widened his eyes and shook his head. He looked incredibly guilty. The penny dropped. ‘You’re married?!’ I shouted. Nathan looked spooked, tried to shush me and ordered me to lower my voice. He needn’t have worried – I was speechless. After what felt like the longest minute of my life, he finally admitted he had a wife and kids at home. ‘Does she know you’re out on a date with me?!,’ I demanded. He awkwardly gestured no. I felt overwhelmingly flustered, grabbing my coat. ‘I’m going home,’ I managed to say. ‘This isn’t going to work.’ Nathan tried to stop me: ‘It’s not a big deal, Anya.’ I deleted his number and walked home feeling a mix of rage and shock (Picture: Getty Images) I asked him if they had an arrangement and he said no. ‘Well, then…it is a big deal!,’ I replied, aghast. As I stomped out of the venue, just before the second half of the comedy show, I deleted his number and walked home feeling a mix of rage and shock. I had been fooled; Nathan had really pulled the wool over my eyes. I hadn’t noticed any red flags, I didn’t have time to get to know him well enough for that. His revelation had come completely out of the blue. There was no love lost, though. I had zero intention of speaking to or seeing him again. I quickly saw the funny side and told my friends, who couldn’t believe my first date in six years was a married family man. But I also felt bad for his wife who was – presumably – none the wiser. Over the years, I’ve often wondered if she ever found out about his date with me; I’m sure I wasn’t Nathan’s first or last shot at infidelity. A month later, I was invited to the venue where we’d first met for an industry Christmas party. I saw him across the crowd and we locked eyes. He quickly averted his gaze and blanked me. I thought it was cowardly – he wasn’t acting his age. But perhaps his wife was in the same room? Nathan’s revelation knocked my confidence even more than before I’d met him; I avoided dates for a good few months. And, when I eventually started dating with intent again the following spring, I made a point of asking if the guy was hiding a wife and kids. *Name has been changed Do you have a story you’d like to share? Get in touch by emailing izzie.price@metro.co.uk. Share your views in the comments below. Arrow MORE: ‘I’ve lived on the Falkland Islands all my life – this is what it’s really like’ Arrow MORE: The heatwave was leaving me sexually frustrated – until I found the answer Arrow MORE: I’m cycling 1,000 miles with my two young kids to prove mums can do anything