My dad & pregnant mum parted ways in corridor – minutes later he was killed in 9/11… now I grieve for man I never knew

FIVE months pregnant with her second child, Jacqueline Milam thought it was another ordinary catch-up with husband Ronald Milam at work. They were working at opposite ends of the Pentagon, him an Army major and her an Air Force captain, so went their separate ways on what was supposed to be a typical Tuesday. Ronald and Jacqueline Milam pictured with their first-born child, Myejoi, who was 18-months-old when terrorists attacked in 2001 Credit: Supplied Ronald and Jacqueline had spoken seven minutes before the Pentagon 9/11 attacks Credit: Supplied A rescue helicopter flies above the burning Pentagon after the attacks on September 11, 2001 Credit: Reuters A hijacked Boeing 757 crashed into the western facade at 500mph Credit: Allsport But seven minutes later, Ronald was dead. A hijacked Boeing 757 crashed into the western facade at 500mph, killing all 64 people on board and 125 people inside. Sign up for The Sun newsletter Thank you! On the same day – September 11, 2001 – another two planes brought down the Twin Towers in New York in the deadliest ever terror attack in US history, claiming the lives of 2,977 victims. It left Jacqueline to endure another four months of pregnancy and then childbirth without Ronald, while raising her 18-month-old first-born, Myejoi, single-handedly. The Sun has exclusively spoken to that boy born without a dad, Ronald Milam Jr, on the 25th anniversary of the day that brought the US to its knees. Milam Jr, 24, said: “You get that feeling of missing them. It is missing someone who was never there in your life, personally. “But it’s still a strong emotion, a strong feeling to have because they were once a significant part of you. “At the end of the day, they are still you. I am half of him. In some ways, I’m fully him, just because I am his son. You can still miss them without even knowing them.” Most read in The Sun He added: “What do I miss the most? The experience of having a father, I never had it. “Just that whole experience: growing up with him there, when I’m playing sports, or when I’m just at home, hanging out with my family. Just all of that.” Ronald Jr was born on Joint Base Andrews military facility the following January in Maryland, around 15 miles south of Washington DC. Jacqueline, now 58, moved the family to San Antonio, Texas, around three years later when Ronald was a toddler. Jacqueline with her children Myejoi and Ronald Credit: Supplied Ronald, pictured with his mum Jacqueline, grew up never knowing his father Credit: Supplied He thinks he can pinpoint the moment he began to understand his dad’s tragedy: around seven or eight, when the anniversary would come around and his mum grieved alone. He adds: “A long time ago I began to understand. I probably don’t remember the exact moment, but I could maybe vaguely understand because I was really young. “There was other 9/11 stuff that would happen in DC and New York and everything. “We would obviously go and I think I had an idea right then even if I was just seven or eight-years-old. My mum was the only one ever there so I feel like I had an idea.” But what became clear was that Ronald knew the pain his mum was going through was so severe, he learned not to ask. He adds: “I really don’t ask my mum questions about it. She definitely can talk about it. I just don’t think I would want to put that on her. “But if the subject is coming up, then yes, she’ll say some stuff.” That morning at around 7.35am, five hijackers boarded American Airlines Flight 77 bound for Los Angeles after passing through security at Washington’s Dulles International Airport. Ronald with his mum Jacqueline, who raised him as a single mum after 9/11 Credit: Supplied Ronald said his mum’s resilience in the face of the most unimaginable challenge leaves him in permanent admiration Credit: Supplied On board were another 53 passengers and six crew members. It is estimated the hijackers seized control of the aircraft between 8.51am and 8.54am with one of them, Hani Hanjour, a certified pilot, controlling the plane. At 9am the aircraft made a sharp turn eastward over southern Ohio before it crashed between Corridors 4 and 5 37 minutes later. Along with the attacks on the World Trade Center, United Airlines Flight 93 crashed into an open field in Somerset County, Pennsylvania. Terrorists on board crashed the plane after brave passengers fought back but all 44 on board were killed, 40 of them innocent. Ronald remembers the anger he felt towards those responsible when the extent of his loss became clear. He should be spending Friday with his dad, 33 when he died, playing basketball, talking about sports and lighting up a room with his “goofy” personality, something Ronald says he passed down. But instead he will be grieving for a man he never got to meet. Smoke billows from the Pentagon after a hijacked airplane crashed into the building Credit: AFP The World Trade Center towers burning after being struck by planes on the morning of September 11, 2001 in New York Credit: EPA Ronald Jr said: “When I was younger, of course I felt angry. I felt like I got a whole new life stolen from me a little bit. “And not stolen from just me but stolen from a lot of people. To those specific people who carried out the attacks, I’m not going to forgive them. “Even if they are dead or in jail, I don’t forgive them for what happened because what they did was out of malice. “But I just feel like I got a life stolen from me that I never had.” Looking at pictures more than two decades on, Ronald sees a man who didn’t smile often and wore a serious look. But he was told about a man who immediately transformed around the right company just like he does. He adds: “He didn’t smile in any of his pictures, really. But whenever he’s out, he was a goofy guy. “I’m just like him, basically, is what she’s telling me. I also look a lot alike. I’m basically his twin. “I don’t look like my mum even though everybody looks like my mum. “My brother and my sister look like my mum. I don’t look like my mum, I look like my dad. “Sports-wise, I played a lot of basketball growing up and they said he loved basketball. I wore number 33 – the age he died.” Jacqueline would later remarry and give birth to Ronald’s half-brother John, 15. Her resilience in the face of the most unimaginable challenge, giving birth without squeezing Ronald’s hand, leaves Ronald in permanent admiration. He continues: “Being a single parent in general is hard, just in any situation. “But being a single parent where it wasn’t your option to be, or the option collectively to be because it was taken away from her, I feel like that was very difficult for her to adjust to. “But my mum is very strong. She’s a strong woman and I think she did a great job at raising us. “She is very, very resilient. She’s been through a lot in her life. It’s just made her able to work through pretty much anything and get through stuff that some people wouldn’t be able to get through. “I feel like she finds a way.” Now Ronald is in nursing school with eight months left until he graduates, before he undergoes further exams to obtain his nursing licence. He lives alone in San Antonio, around 25 minutes from Jacqueline, now a social worker, and four hours away from Myejoi in Dallas. He has formed a bond with other people who also did not get to meet their dads under the same circumstances. Ronald continues: “Throughout the years, I’ve met a couple people who have gone through this experience with me. “It was nice seeing people who have lived through the same situations that I have because I feel the way it happened is a unique situation. “It’s such a polarising moment in time. It’s just nice to have those people who know exactly what you’re going through.” Comment now