My Brother Met His Now-Wife Because She Was My Business Partner. Now They’ve Conspired Against Me.

Pay Dirt Photo illustration by Slate. Photo by Galeanu Mihai/Getty Images Plus. Pay Dirt is Slate’s money advice column. Have a question? Send it to Kristin and Ilyce here. (It’s anonymous!) Dear Pay Dirt, I come from a very close-knit family. There are five of us kids, and we all still live within an hour of my parents’ house. We get together for family dinners every week, with all of our spouses and kids, too. It’s a lot! But that’s always been the expectation of our family. But now there’s something that is making this really hard for me. My brother met his wife, “Lana,” because she was my friend and business partner first. We ran a small business together, a store, that we started with a loan from my parents. Lana started dating my brother when we’d had the business a few years, and then married him a few years after that. Then a few years after that, we decided to split our businesses. We had two store locations by then, so we each took one. This was an amicable business separation. One of the locations made more money than the other, so we agreed on a system that seemed fair to us. My sister-in-law, who took the more successful store, agreed to pay an earnings dividend to me for the year following the business split. We both felt good about this. But evidently, my brother didn’t, because when it came time to pay up, the amount was much less than I’d expected—about half. When I asked Lana what had happened, she said that my brother had done the accounting, and he said it was in line with what we agreed. I pushed back and both Lana and my brother insisted the amount was in line with our deal. My parents and siblings encouraged me to believe them and accept that money and split. This was a year ago and I’m still so mad. I didn’t “need” that money, but it would have been really nice to have. And I just can’t get over them lying to my face about it. No one wants to discuss this with me anymore, not my parents or my siblings, and everyone is acting like I’m way out of line if I try to. How do I get over this? —Spurned Sister Dear Spurned Sister, Wow. A year of carrying this alone, with your whole family telling you to drop it, is exhausting. It’s clear this was never just about the money. It’s bigger than that. Let’s review the situation: You had a fair, amicable agreement with Lana, your friend and business partner. Then your brother did the accounting, the number came in roughly half what you expected, and your entire family closed ranks around them rather than supporting your request to open the books. Whether or not you were shortchanged, you were never shown you weren’t, uou were just told to accept it. That’s a real betrayal from the people closest to you, and your instinct that your brother inserted himself into a deal that was never really his is worth trusting. Give it one more try. Ask Lana and your brother to walk you through the actual numbers. But there’s a second conversation you need to have with your parents. One day, when it’s just the three of you, ask them directly why they took your brother’s side instead of staying neutral. Have they seen the books? Do they know something you don’t? And why did they weigh in on a business dispute between two former partners at all? Their answers, or their discomfort answering, will tell you a lot. Going forward, all business dealings—with family, friends, or anyone else—need to be detailed and in writing, including a clear, agreed-upon method for valuing the business itself in case the parties (or even just one person) decide to sell. Handshake deals work fine until they don’t. In this case, the goal is to get an answer you can trust and move forward. Please keep questions short (<150 words), and don‘t submit the same question to multiple columns. We are unable to edit or remove questions after publication. Use pseudonyms to maintain anonymity. Your submission may be used in other Slate advice columns and may be edited for publication. Dear Pay Dirt, I am a 20-year-old in my second year of college. I am fortunate to have two working parents (and other family members) who are willing to contribute to my education and otherwise support me financially, but their jobs are not high-paying, and they are also putting another sibling through college (though said sibling has an excellent scholarship.) With rising costs, uncertainty regarding the economy, and the knowledge that the career I want will require pursuing a PhD, I am trying to earn and save as much money as possible while my living expenses are minimal. I do as many hours of work study as my school allows during the school year (not many!) and I am lucky enough to have found a stipended internship in my chosen field for this summer. Against this financial backdrop, I have a question over a relatively tiny amount of money. From birthday gifts, relatives, etc. over the years, I have amassed a small sum in cash—about $300—which I do not know what to do with. I’ve been told I should keep it on hand for emergencies, but it seems like a kind of a lot of money to just keep around the house or in my wallet, and part of me would feel much more secure seeing it deposited in my savings account. On the other hand, in comparison to the amount of money already present in that account, it is not a whole lot, and I worry I might be tempted to spend some or all of it (I have not had the best financial discipline, historically, and there are definitely some things in my life I might be tempted to spend some or all of the money on.) Is keeping $300 in cash just lying around “in case of emergency” a smart move, or should some or all of this go towards my savings? —Not Keeping it Under the Mattress Dear Not Keeping It Under the Mattress, You’ve clearly got the soul of a saver, especially given that you’re juggling a work study with an internship, and a PhD looming on the horizon. Whether you have it in an account or under your mattress (never my choice!) the $300 is savings. So, you might as well make it work for you.Deposit the $300. Cash sitting in a wallet or a drawer isn’t earning anything, and it’s easy to spend impulsively when it’s physically in hand. Cash that’s sitting in a savings account creates a small but meaningful barrier between you and an unplanned purchase. You already know this about yourself, which is exactly why it’s worth acting on. The “keep cash for emergencies” advice generally applies to larger sums meant to cover a real crisis. In your world, that might be a broken laptop or an unexpected medical co-pay. For a homeowner, it might look like a broken hot water heater. For that purpose, $300 sitting in a savings account is just as accessible as $300 in a drawer. You can transfer it back to checking in minutes if you truly need it, and most banks let you do this from your phone. If you’re worried about the temptation to dip into it once it’s mixed in with your other savings, consider opening a separate small savings account labeled specifically as your emergency fund. Search FDIC-insured online banks at bankrate.com. Some banks make this easy and don’t charge fees for multiple accounts. That way the money is safe, growing slightly, and mentally set apart from your regular spending. Congrats on building good financial habits early. That matters more than the $300 itself, and will pay off handsomely in the future. —Ilyce Classic Prudie My wife and I have been married for 25 years, and for 24.5 of those years I was unfaithful. She never knew about it; I even missed the birth of our first child because I was in Paris with one of my then-mistresses (I lied and said I was on a business trip). Well, six months ago, a shocking surprise changed everything. Never miss new Slate Advice columns Get the latest from Prudie and our columnists in your inbox each weekday, plus special bonus letters on Saturdays. Advice Personal Finance Relationships