My Brother Just Requested an Expensive Gift for My Niece. I Might Say Yes Out of Spite.

Care and Feeding Photo illustration by Slate. Photo by flyparade/iStock/Getty Images Plus. Care and Feeding is Slate’s parenting advice column. Have a question for Care and Feeding? Submit it here. I have an 11-year-old niece, “Bree,” and my brother “Ross,” just asked me to buy her a specific gift for Christmas—and for a specific reason. He wants me to buy her an iPhone. The reason is that Bree has been clamoring for one for more than a year, but my sister-in-law, “Zindy,” is staunchly against it. She doesn’t want Bree or her younger brother to have a phone until they are in high school. Ross figures that my buying the iPhone for Bree is a clever workaround. Ordinarily I wouldn’t entertain such a prospect, but Zindy treats everyone around her like shit and I absolutely loathe her. Given that, is it permissible for me to abet Ross’s little scheme? —One-Time Accomplice Dear One-Time Accomplice, Try to remember that it’s generally not in your best interest to get in the middle of someone else’s marital dispute—your brother really shouldn’t be trying to get you to fight or trick his wife. And you probably wouldn’t be doing Bree any favors in the end, because she’d find herself in the middle of a wider family feud, and Zindy could just take the phone away (and might be more likely to do so if she’s pissed at you and Ross). If you want to confront your sister-in-law over how she treats you, that’s another matter—I just think it’s better to do it in a way that doesn’t involve your niece. —Nicole More Parenting Advice From Slate Our son, almost 17, shares his otherwise unique name with an adult film star. We first realized this about two years ago, and the problem has only gotten worse, as the star has become more … prolific. Any search of the name yields only pages and pages of the star’s porn links. There’s no shortened form or nickname, and our son has no middle name, so we don’t have options but to legally change it. The problem is our son does not want to do this. Never miss new Slate Advice columns Get the latest from Prudie and our columnists in your inbox each weekday, plus special bonus letters on Saturdays. Advice Family Kids