My Boss Went to HR to Try to Cancel My Vacation. Too Bad for Her, I Got There First.

Good Job Photo illustration by Slate. Photo by Dmytro Sheremeta/Getty Images Plus. Good Job is Slate’s advice column on work. Have a workplace problem big or small? Send it to Laura Helmuth and Doree Shafrir here. (It’s anonymous!) Dear Good Job, My wife is from England, and at the beginning of every October, I take a two-and-a-half week vacation so we can go visit her family. I work in a small department of a large company, and I always ask for this time almost a year in advance. It has always been approved, including this year. And then two weeks ago, when my manager tried to walk it back. My department is me, my manager, and two co-workers. My co-workers are great, my manager, well… she is the ex-wife of a C-level officer, and rumor has it she got this job to “shut her up.” In my opinion, she has no clue how to do the work in our department and is unwilling to learn, but she takes credit for the work that is done. Luckily she is somewhat “hands-off” and just lets us do our jobs. Earlier this year, we found out that both my co-workers were pregnant. One had her baby last month, and the other is due at the beginning of September. Both will be out on maternity leave when I am on vacation. Two weeks ago, a light bulb went off in my manager’s head that nobody will be around when the third quarter department report will need to be finalized for her to present to the CEO and other C-level members at their quarterly meeting. She asked me to cancel my vacation, and I said no. She said she would “see about that” as “vacation is allowed based on the needs of the business.” I called HR and requested a meeting with the HR manager and my supervisor’s boss (her boss is a C-level employee). I did not inform my manager of this meeting. I scheduled it for Friday afternoon, which she takes off every week. At this meeting, I pointed out the personal cost/disruption of canceling my long planned vacation, but they seemed to side with my manager. Then I pointed out that every report and pretty much everything we do has my manager’s name on it, and she has taken credit for it. I added, “If she is so good at her job, it should be no issue for her to enter the final quarterly numbers in an already created template.” They looked at each other and then said not to worry about canceling my vacation. I got the sense that my manager is not well liked at this level of management. The next week my manager again asked me to cancel my vacation. When I refused, she went to the HR manager to “force” me to cancel my vacation and was very much surprised when they refused to honor her request. She is now in an absolute tizzy and is so “wound up” about having to do this report on her own that I think she is about to have a mental breakdown. She is taking her frustrations out on me and my pregnant colleague, who has had to leave work because she was crying. I told my co-worker to go to HR, but she said she would wait it out for a few weeks until the baby is born. But then I will get the full brunt of my manager’s wrath. Do I go to HR? If my manager does get fired (they may be looking for an excuse), I will probably get my vacation canceled as I would be the only one able to do the report. But I am already walking on pins and needles around her and don’t know how much longer I can handle this. —She’s Upset She Has to Do Her Job Dear She’s Upset She Has to Do Her Job, What a terrible position your manager has put you in. But it’s not your responsibility to handle your manager’s emotions or her inability to do her job. You were right to go to HR in the first place and make sure that you can still take your vacation, and based on HR’s response, it sounds like you’re not the first person to bring their issues with your manager to their attention. So I would do as much as you can on the report before you have to leave for vacation, and after that, it’s out of your hands. That said, I think you do need to start documenting when your manager is behaving inappropriately or retaliating against you for taking your vacation. Keep a log with the date, time, and what was said. If you have a conversation with her that you want a record of, follow it up with an email confirming what was discussed. This way, should anything actually happen between now and your vacation (or after), you have a paper trail. In addition, make sure you keep a copy of the documentation somewhere that’s not your work computer or phone, if you have one. I’m hoping that you can go on your vacation and get a break from this madness, and that HR continues to stand up for you. Best of luck. —Doree Classic Prudie My husband and I never wanted children—we preferred to travel and spoil our dogs. He got the snip before we even met. Only, six months ago, we found out that he has a 13-year-old daughter, “Ella,” from a college fling. Never miss new Slate Advice columns Get the latest from Prudie and our columnists in your inbox each weekday, plus special bonus letters on Saturdays. Advice Workplace Jobs