My best friend came to live with us after her divorce – now my husband has sex with her every night after I go to bed

EVERY night at around 10pm, Amanda Coates kisses her husband goodnight and heads upstairs to bed. But while the 38-year-old counsellor drifts off to sleep, husband Dennis stays downstairs getting cosy with another woman. Amanda Coates (right) is in a throuple with her husband and best friend Credit: Supplied Victoria originally moved in with Amanda and Dennis to get back on her feet after her divorce Credit: Supplied And Amanda couldn’t be happier about it. That’s because the other woman is her best friend, 29-year-old Victoria, and the trio have been in a throuple for five years. Sign up for the Fabulous newsletter Thank you! Dennis enjoys the best of both worlds because while Amanda and Victoria’s relationship doesn’t go beyond friendship, he has sex with both of them and the threesome even share a bed. The unconventional family are now raising eight children together, with seven living under the same roof in their five-bedroom home in North Carolina, US. Amanda and Victoria’s relationship is only a friendship, but they all share a bed Credit: Supplied Amanda says she forgets who gave birth to who as the children are equally theirs Credit: Supplied And it was Amanda herself who encouraged Dennis, 38, to pursue her younger best friend. “Dennis and I never go to bed together – I go to bed early because I’m a morning person,” Amanda says. “Tori stays up with Dennis. “I appreciate her for that because I am not a night owl and will fall asleep if I try to stay awake past 10pm. Most read in Fabulous “I don’t have bad feelings or emotions towards him staying up with her. “We share one bed, so we both get to sleep next to him every night.” The unusual relationship began after Victoria found herself struggling following her divorce. Amanda, who had then been with Dennis for 13 years and married to him for five, offered her friend a place to stay after she split from her ex partner. She wanted to give Victoria somewhere to get back on her feet, but soon began to think her best friend could also be the perfect match for her husband. Amanda says: “Tori was in a bad place in her life and she deserved to be treated with love and kindness. “I encouraged Dennis to pursue her and I knew she would be interested in him because he is a great catch.” Amanda and Dennis had previously discussed opening up their marriage, although the idea had never gone beyond conversation. That changed when Victoria moved in. But Amanda admits watching her husband become intimate with her best friend was initially difficult. She says: “Dennis and I discussed this scenario years before but never went past talking, until I met Tori. “It was a struggle for me initially because she is wonderful and beautiful, and it felt like she had all my good qualities and then some, so why wouldn’t my husband want her over me? Amanda was the one who thought Victoria could be the perfect match for Dennis Credit: Supplied Amanda says communication has been a key part of keeping things running smoothly Credit: Supplied “But we all learned to talk our feelings out and to reassure each other. “Our life is great and I wouldn’t want to go back.” Amanda and Victoria consider themselves best friends while both having relationships with Dennis. Amanda says: “Victoria is my hetero lifemate, my ying to her yang, best friend for life. “I love living this life together. “Dennis never favours one over the other or makes us feel second to the other. “They have their relationship, he and I have ours, and she and I have one, again without physical intimacy.” Amanda admitted it was initially difficult when her husband and Victoria first slept together, despite her encouraging their relationship. She recalls: “It was still an adjustment for me when he told me about the first time.” “But no more awkward or uncomfortable moments now.” “We are a family and I couldn’t imagine life any other way.” Five years on, their household includes eight children. Amanda and Dennis share Aylah, 14, Sophia, 11, Bary, nine, and Mary, three. What is polyamory? Polyamory is the practice of having romantic relationships with more than one person at the same time, with the knowledge and consent of all parties. It can refer to relationships where one person has multiple partners or spouses, or where all parties are in a relationship with each other, for example in a throuple. According to You Gov, 6.8% of people in the UK have been in a polyamorous relationship. Victoria has daughter Madilyn, nine, from a previous marriage, while she and Dennis share Liam, three, Valyrie, two, and eight-month-old Ellie-May. Amanda’s eldest child, Johnathan, 21, from a previous relationship, has now moved out. The adults have been open with their children about the family set-up. Amanda and Dennis even asked their biological children whether they would prefer Victoria and Madilyn not to live with them. But they replied: “No, we want them here.” Amanda says the children now see Victoria as another mum and Madilyn as their sister. She says: “All children are treated the same. “Sometimes I forget who gave birth to who because they are equally all our children.” Amanda says communication has been key to keeping their unconventional family running smoothly. She says “We are a team and we choose to function as a team. “The wellbeing of our family is our priority collectively. “Our husband is the head of the family and Tori and I are equal points of the triangle. “We have equal say about parenting and household responsibilities.” With ten people sharing a five-bedroom home, Amanda admits family life can be hectic and money can sometimes be tight. But she says having three adults also means there is always someone to share the load. She said: “We would rather share a space than be alone. “If we are feeling a certain way about something, we talk it out, no matter how uncomfortable it makes us.“ Amanda says Victoria has also become a major source of emotional support: “She is my partner on a different level than Dennis. “He can tell me until he is blue in the face how pretty or smart or funny I am, and I know he wouldn’t lie to me, but it is different coming from her. “She is my voice of reason, my confidante.” Dennis says life with two partners and eight children has changed him too. He explains: “I’ve become more patient, and my suffering as far as chronic pain goes has improved since having two wives, and eight children. “I’m so busy tending to and taking care of all of them that I don’t even have time to hurt. “They’re a handful, the women, and the kids. “But I love them all.” And while Amanda knows their arrangement is not for everyone, she insists she wouldn’t change it. She adds: “All three of us want what is best for each other and the family. “This is our life and our family wellbeing is most important. “This life is not for everyone. “It works because I genuinely think it was meant to be.” Comment now