My Aunt Spied On My Boyfriend In the Shower. Uh, Now She’s Making Wild Accusations About Him.

How to Do It She has no idea what she’s talking about. Photo illustration by Slate. Photo by EIMB/Getty Images Plus. Sign up for the Slatest to get the most insightful analysis, criticism, and advice out there, delivered to your inbox daily. How to Do It is Slate’s sex advice column. Have a question? Send it to Jessica and Rich here. It’s anonymous! Dear How to Do It, My boyfriend is hung, and he’s a shower at all points. He’s great, I love him, he’s a keeper. Part of marking him as a keeper was bringing him to my family vacation on the beach. There’s an outdoor shower we use to wash off sand before going into the house. My aunt saw him coming out of the shower when he went to grab his towel, and she came to me afterwards insisting that he was doing something that sounded frankly insane. According to her, he was “pleasuring himself” in the shower. When I asked how she could possibly know that, she said it was because of how swollen his penis looked. I know he didn’t do that. My aunt is also traditional, so it’s entirely possible she doesn’t know the gamut of penis sizes that exist. She will tell people about what she “saw” if he comes to future events. How do I stop this? —Size Queen Looking to Keep Her King Dear Size Queen Looking to Keep Her King, Ideally you would have just said in response to your aunt’s accusation, “No, his penis is just really large. It always looks like that.” You didn’t in the moment, but you can follow up with her to clarify. She’s traditional and may be scandalized by your reveal and approach, but at least being confronted with her own ignorance may stop her from spreading unfounded rumors about your boyfriend. You can also wait for the word to get around and come back to you and correct it via a hopefully more reasonable/reliable source. Who knows if that will actually happen, though. Unless this aunt of yours is a compulsive liar, the type who spins a fiction out of the tiniest kernel of a truth, though, any reasonable person will not believe her without at least a follow-up like, “How do you know?” She did not see him masturbating with her own eyes—as far as we know—so only the most gullible people will take her at her word. You can’t control other people’s intellectual shortcomings. You either choose to pay no mind to the scuttlebutt or you get in front of the story. Gossip is as inevitable as death and taxes on the poor. We can only manage it. —Rich More Advice From Slate Recently, my husband confessed that he wants to help set me up with other men and potentially watch/join in. He said he discovered the genre through some videos and he would really like to try it if I’m interested. He’d really like to be a part of the entire process: helping me find someone and helping me prep for the night. The crazy part is I’m actually considering it. I never thought I’d be into something like this but I’m surprising myself by actually being turned on by the idea. Is it a bad idea to jump into this? Never miss new Slate Advice columns Get the latest from Prudie and our columnists in your inbox each weekday, plus special bonus letters on Saturdays. Advice Sex