My abusive ex calmly strangled me in front of my screaming son but ESCAPED jail…I had to see his face every day at work

AS HER ex-partner walked towards her pinning her against the wall and placing his hands around her neck, Alex Crowther was transfixed by how icily calm he was. It was only when she began choking that she realised, in shock, she was being strangled. The relationship started as a work place romance Credit: Alex Crowther Alex’s partner remained composed as he carried out the attack Credit: Alex Crowther In a horrific attack in her own home psychological and verbal abuse, Alex had to fight to free herself from his grip as she begged for mercy and struggled for her life. In the background, her young son screamed in terror, fearing his mother was going to die. Sign up for the Fabulous newsletter Thank you! Despite pleading guilty to intentional strangulation, her former partner Nathan Roberts incredibly escaped jail. Alex now hopes to train as a solicitor, supporting other victims of domestic abuse through the court process which she believes failed her terribly. READ MORE ON DOMESTIC ABUSE Alex, 45, from Nottingham, says: “Nathan was so incredibly calm and controlled when he attacked me that it didn’t seem real. He was squeezing my neck, choking me, without even losing his temper. “The attack was in my home, with my young son present, the place where we should have felt safe. But in some ways, we can never go back to who we were. Mum of one Alex met Roberts, now 39, in 2019 at their workplace in Newark, Notts, where Nathan was a joiner and Alex an assistant project co-ordinator. They began dating in 2022 after an office party. She says: “Nathan had made it clear he liked me, and so it was no surprise when we got together at the party. Most read in Fabulous “At first, he made me so happy. He made me laugh and bought me flowers. “He was very attentive. I was a single mum with a little boy and so the relationship was just what I needed.” The couple moved in together, but their relationship was marred by arguments every few weeks. Alex says: “Nathan was very controlling of me; he didn’t like any of my friends and told me I wasn’t allowed to see them. The mum and son were left feeling scared in their own home Credit: Alex Crowther Alex said her ex chipped away at her confidence during their relationship Credit: Alex Crowther “I had a close friend who he really disliked, because she saw straight through him. He’d check my phone for messages from other men. “After every argument, he’d buy me a gift or book a night away, but I eventually realised that wasn’t OK. There was no excuse for his behaviour. “He’d arrange for us to go out but cancel at the last minute and go out alone. He just wanted to make sure I didn’t have chance to make other plans. “He chipped away at my self-confidence until I thought I didn’t deserve any better. I was miserable with him.” In the summer of 2023, Alex ended their relationship but they continued to have contact. But Nathan sent a string of abusive messages including a threat for her to check the brakes on her car. In August that year, incensed by the suspicion she had a new partner, Nathan turned up at her home. Alex says: “He came round, even though we were no longer together, and became annoyed because I had flowers from a female friend. He presumed I had a new partner and began grilling me. He demanded to check my phone, and I refused to give it to him. My little boy was awake and crying and I just wanted Nathan to leave. Domestic abuse - how to get help DOMESTIC abuse can affect anyone - including men - and does not always involve physical violence. Here are some signs that you could be in an abusive relationship: Emotional abuse – Including being belittled, blamed for the abuse – gaslighting – being isolated from family and friends, having no control over your finances, what you where and who you speak to Threats and intimidation – Some partners might threaten to kill or hurt you, destroy your belongings, stalk or harass you Physical abuse – This can range from slapping or hitting to being shoved over, choked or bitten. Sexual abuse – Being touched in a way you do not want to be touched, hurt during sex, pressured into sex or forced to have sex when you do not consent. If any of the above apply to you or a friend, you can call these numbers: The Freephone National Domestic Abuse Helpline, run by Refuge on 0808 2000 247 for free at any time, day or night Men who are being abused can call Respect Men’s Advice Line on 0808 8010 327 or ManKind on 0182 3334 244 Those who identify as LGBT+ can ring Galop on 0800 999 5428 If you are in immediate danger or fear for your life, always ring 999 Remember, you are not alone. 1 in 4 women and 1 in 7 men will experience domestic abuse over the course of their lifetime. Every 30 seconds the police receive a call for help relating to domestic abuse. Alex had flashbacks and nightmares were she is being strangled Credit: Alex Crowther “He managed to grab the phone off me by pinning me down and he found a message from a male friend who had sold me a puppy previously. We were just friends, there was nothing in it at all, but Nathan didn’t believe me. “He was very cruel, laughing at the idea I might move on with another man, telling me nobody else would ever want me. He sent messages to my phone contacts which was completely invasive and humiliating, but I couldn’t stop him. “We were in the living room, and he walked towards me and put his hands around my neck and squeezed. He was so calm that it didn’t really register at first that I was being strangled. “I was struggling to breathe, and my head was very hot. I tried to fight him off, but he was much stronger. We fell back onto the sofa, and he lost his grip and I managed to get into the kitchen. I was fighting for my life. In the background, my son was screaming. He was terrified and yet still, Nathan didn’t stop. Nathan caught me and he tried to strangle me again. I thought he was going to kill me. But then he threw me against the fridge freezer and left the house taking my phone with him. The attack ended as abruptly as it had started.” Alex ran with her son to a neighbour who called for help. Roberts was arrested soon after, hiding outside Alex’s home. She says: “I was a nervous wreck afterwards. I had to go to work because I was a single mum and I needed my job. But I was covered in bruises, and I had to see Nathan in my workplace, which terrified me. “I didn’t feel safe at home. I had security cameras installed but the notification sounds made my son very anxious. We were scared to be in our house, but we were also scared to go out, in case Nathan was there when we got back. “I had flashbacks and nightmares where I relived the strangulation. I wanted to reengage with my friends and family, but I felt disconnected, more isolated than ever. I had counselling, and though it helped to understand my trauma, it didn’t make it go away.” Alex could no longer cope with the stress of working with her abusive ex-partner and, after seven years with the company, she resigned. She says: “My concentration was shot, especially at work, because Nathan was close by. Every time I saw or heard him, I had an anxiety attack. I had to leave, to protect myself.” What seemed like a disaster financially has now become a new career path and Alex is at university, studying criminal justice with law. She plans to work as a solicitor, specialising in domestic abuse and is currently involved in a project with Nottingham Trent University and Women’s Aid. In July 2025, Nathan Roberts appeared before Nottingham Crown Court charged with two counts of assault by beating and intentional strangulation. Having previously pleaded not guilty, he pleaded guilty at the trial to intentional strangulation and was handed an 18-month suspended sentence, with a 5-year restraining order community service and rehabilitation. Alex says: “I went to court, but I found the whole process very difficult. I wasn’t kept updated and I didn’t know what was happening with the charges. I felt forgotten, like there was more support for the perpetrator than for me. I was very disappointed with the sentence too. “I don’t understand how a man can strangle me in my own home with my young son there and somehow escape prison. “I’m working hard to make life safe and happy again for me and my son but it’s hard. He’s been so afraid, he can’t even sleep in his own bed. He had to move schools too. “When I graduate, I’d like to train as a solicitor and support others and try to change the way victims are treated in the justice system.” Comment now