Morning Sex vs. Night Sex: Is One Actually Better?

Ask a morning-sex person when the best time to have sex is, and they’ll probably tell you there’s no better way to start the day. Ask a night-sex person, and they may wonder what kind of person has the energy for all that before coffee. And then there are the afternoon-sex people, who frankly seem to have figured out something the rest of us haven’t.But why do people prefer having sex at different times and, maybe more importantly, is one time of day better than another?Before you completely rearrange your sex schedule thinking morning-sex people are onto something or that nighttime sex is more intimate, let’s evaluate the situation: “Sex has the same benefits no matter when you have it—feelings of relaxation, stress reduction, closeness to your partner and the like,” says Lelo sexpert Laurie Mintz, PhD, a licensed psychologist and certified sex therapist.That said, morning sex, afternoon sex, and night sex aren’t totally interchangeable. Depending on your body, schedule, and what kind of vibe you’re going for, one time of day might have a little more going for it than another. Below, we’re breaking down the benefits of morning sex vs. night sex (and throwing in a little afternoon delight for anyone who likes to overachieve on their lunch break). Let’s settle this, shall we?Benefits of Morning SexNighttime sex may get more credit for its romantic vibes, but morning sex has plenty going for it, too. You’re fresh off a night of sleep, there’s something undeniably intimate about waking up and getting it on before you’ve fully started your day, and you might even find yourself naturally hornier in the morning—which, according to Mintz, absolutely tracks.Mintz notes that hormones associated with sexual desire can fluctuate throughout the day. Testosterone, for example, typically peaks in the morning, which may help explain why some people feel hornier earlier in the day.Plus, according to therapist Joy Berkheimer, PhD, chief sexologist at SXWA, “our bodies are naturally more relaxed in the morning after a good night’s sleep, which can lead to increased pleasure during intimacy.”The oxytocin released during sex (especially orgasm) can help you feel more connected to your partner throughout the day, says Berkheimer. Sex also has relaxation and stress-reduction effects thanks to the release of endorphins, which makes it a great way to destress before work/school/etc., and may even improve focus throughout the day, adds Mintz.In short, not a bad way to start the day!Benefits of Night SexNighttime sex is often thought of as the default—the best time for setting the mood and slipping into a more sultry state of mind. But the perks of having sex at night go beyond the steamy aesthetics of it all. Much like morning sex, there are some legitimate health/sex life benefits to getting it on before bed.For one thing, sex can be a pretty great way to wind down. Sexologist Marla Renee Stewart, a sexpert for Lovers sexual wellness brand and retailer, calls a nighttime romp “the ultimate stress reliever” and says it may also help set you up for a better night’s sleep. “Because of the release of those happy hormones, you’ll be able to fall asleep more easily and sink into a deeper slumber,” says Stewart.Having sex at night can also help you end the day on a positive note and connect with a partner. “As the sun sets, our bodies naturally transition back into a state of relaxation, making it the perfect time to melt into the intimacy of your partner,” says Berkheimer. “This transition can create a sense of safety and comfort that deepens your emotional connection, especially if you’ve planned on it, spoken about it, built up the anticipation, and finally followed through.” (Which, again, is a case for scheduling sex!)Okay, But What About Afternoon Sex?Afternoon sex tends to get left out of the age-old morning vs. night sex debate, but honestly, there’s a strong case to be made for this dark-horse contender.For one thing, afternoon sex is low-key elite. Like, you’re pretty much only getting railed in the middle of the day if you’re on vacation, enjoying a lazy weekend, or playing hooky from your responsibilities, all of which sounds pretty ideal.“Afternoon sex tends to occur when you have time (e.g., mid-day on a weekend) and so the entire encounter may last longer and include more fun and experimentation,” says Mintz. And while afternoon sex may mean long, leisurely vacation sex for some, Mintz notes that the afternoon is also prime time for a sneaky midday quickie—which is, you know, also very fun.Either way, afternoon sex “can feel decadent and novel, which can enhance arousal,” says Mintz. And that novelty can be part of what makes switching up your usual routine so appealing.“Afternoon sex is often ‘extra’ or spontaneous, so many people find it invigorating—especially if you feel like you’ve been in a funk,” says Angie Rowntree, founder and director of award-winning ethical porn site Sssh.com.And lest you think this pro-afternoon sex take is all about fucking off and screwing around (literally), both Mintz and Berkheimer note that a lunch-break quickie can help you de-stress from whatever you’ve already checked off the to-do list and send you back to your responsibilities feeling reinvigorated.All that said, the right time to have sex is, truly, going to look different for everyone, especially when work, kids, sleep, and approximately 900 other responsibilities are competing for your attention. There’s a reason experts often recommend scheduling sex: Making time for it can matter a whole lot more than whether that time happens to be 7 a.m. or 10 p.m.So whatever time of day you’re reading this, consider this permission to take a sex break. You deserve it.