Men neglect this underrated sex act that is a ‘total game-changer’

Rivals may have given us some inspiration in the bedroom (Picture: Getty Images) With beloved 80s masterpiece Rivals back on our screens, so too are its smutty sex scenes. And this time, it showcases an often-neglected sex act which women say adds a whole new level of ‘intensity’. Season two, part two, sees the steamy affair between electronics titan Freddie Jones (Danny Dyer) and romance novelist Lizzie Vereker (Katherine Parkinson) continuing right under their spouses’ noses. During one clandestine rendezvous, they’re having sex with Lizzie on top, when Freddie’s hand trails down her chest to linger on her clit, sending Lizzie into a state of euphoria. Later on, Freddie is in bed with his wife Valerie Jones (Lisa McGrillis) when she initiates sex. While Valerie is riding Freddie, he decides to try the same move with her, rubbing her clit and giving her possibly the best orgasm of her life (which results in her pulling a sex face that ‘makes her look like a thumb’). This is known as ‘pairing’, where you add clitoral stimulation to penetration, which is what 73% of women say they need to orgasm. In fact, according to sex research site OMGYES, women say the resulting orgasms are also ‘more frequent and more pleasurable’. To view this video please enable JavaScript, and consider upgrading to a web browser that supports HTML5 video Not to mention, out of 2,000 women, 97% said partners who give attention to their clitoris by stimulating it during penetration make better lovers. So, why do some men still struggle to take the initiative on this during sex? Sign up to The Hook-Up, Metro's sex and dating newsletter Love reading juicy stories like this? Need some tips for how to spice things up in the bedroom? Sign up to The Hook-Up and we'll slide into your inbox every week with all the latest sex and dating stories from Metro. We can't wait for you to join us! Find it and feel it ‘Around two thirds of men can find the clitoris,’ sexologist Ness Cooper tells Metro. ‘But location isn’t always enough. This doesn’t mean men will know how to stimulate the clitoris.’ Ask Metro Use AI to go deeper into the stories you care about – powered by Metro and trusted publications. Of course, how each woman wants her clitoris stimulated, if at all, will be completely different. ‘For men, some of this will be down to learning what your new or current sexual partner enjoys rather than just identifying sweet spots,’ Ness adds. ‘It’s not surprising we see this from a character like Freddie, since men who are younger may prioritise their partner’s sexual pleasure less than those who are older.’ But climaxing isn’t always the goal during sex. ‘We can become very orgasm focused when it comes to pleasure, when in fact some people may experience sexual pleasure differently, for example, giving their partner pleasure,’ the sexologist says. Why does clitoral stimulation drive women wild When we experience clitoral stimulation, it releases certain hormones and stimulates certain nerve endings, which when combined with penetration, can feel very intense, according to Ness. Women usually need clitoral stimulation to reach orgasm (Picture: Getty Images/Cavan Images RF) ‘Penetration can also pull the tissue around the clitoris making the nerve endings even more sensitive,’ she says. Women were quick to share how the sensation made them feel on sex research site OMGYES. One woman, Kate, said: ‘Penetration, it’s a wonderful thing. But then, clitoral and internal stimulation at the same time can add a whole other level of intensity and pleasure. ‘It’s like chocolate and peanut butter. Both are good, but put them together and you have a whole new world. It’s a total game-changer.’ How to stimulate the clitoris when pairing Ness says this part is all about experimenting. There are certain positions that can make the clitoris easy to reach during penetrative sex. You can have her on top like in Rivals, using a hand to stimulate the clitoris. Or, as the penetrating partner, you can stand while she lays flat on the edge of the bed with her legs up, off the side or around you. Again, you’ll have easy access. Missionary, her on her back, and you leaning up enough so there’s room for a hand on the clit, or both spooning with her legs open enough so there’s room to feel down there Many women surveyed said that if you’re planning on touching the clit, you should touch it with gentle, warm-up kinds of stimulation. This can be easy for a lot of partners to forget in the heat of penetration. ‘Try round circular motions, or side-to-side finger swaying over the clitoris,’ Ness suggests. ‘Add in different speeds and pressures too, and ask for feedback if you need it. ‘And definitely add lubrication. The clitoris has a clitoral hood, and this can cover the clitoris, so lubrication can help move the hood and expose the clitoris to stimulation.’ More like this... Not to mention, this also reduces the risk of friction-related injuries. ‘Please remember that, even when it’s going good, sometimes the clitoris switches off to pleasure if the same type of pleasure has been used for an extended period of time. ‘Don’t be afraid to take a break and focus on elsewhere, before continuing shortly afterwards to allow the nerve endings to reset.’ Do you have a story you’d like to share? Get in touch by emailing MetroLifestyleTeam@metro.co.uk Deals of the Day 14,500 five-star reviews later, this cult sleep spray is discounted for Black Friday The Orlando holiday deal Disney fans shouldn't miss We're adding this discounted NEOM gift set straight to basket Want an LED face mask for less? 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