Men, I Beg You: Stop Ordering Off-Menu at the Cocktail Bar

John Shyloski4 min readFinally, you get the bartender’s attention at the trendy new spot in town. So what do you order? Probably something tried-and-true that you know you’ll like, right? A martini or Negroni, maybe a tequila soda? After you’ve managed to take a sip to lighten your mood, ask yourself: Did I even look at the menu?But I know what I like, you’re probably saying to yourself. And yes, your bartender will smile and nod and make the best damn tequila soda you’ve ever had, because their job is to serve you your drink the way you want it. However, the order itself isn’t the problem; the problem is ordering without even considering the menu. Mixologists spend months developing a culturally relevant, epicurean cocktail menu before meticulously infusing liqueurs and fat-washing and hand-making garnishes, only for you to order a two-part mixed drink.“I notice this mostly with men. By courtesy, I will always pass someone a menu, but most guys already have it in their minds what they want,” says Lauren Rojas, the head bartender at Jac’s on Bond in New York’s NoHo neighborhood, who helped craft the Esquire campfire martini. “More often than not, the guy will just lay the menu back down and be like, ‘We already know what we’re getting.’ ”Sam HannaDon’t you want to try the Angel Eyes from Cure in New Orleans?And what do these all-knowing dudes order when they slide that menu back to the bartender like it’s a dirty napkin? I asked my Esquire coworker Luke Guillory.“I would say 75 percent of the time I’m not looking at the menu,” he admits. He typically just orders a beer when he goes out, but if he’s going to get a cocktail, he goes with a classic, like a gin and tonic or martini. He’s not the only one. Rojas says she serves a lot of espresso martinis and neat whiskeys. Meanwhile, Sam Delucia, general manager at Cure in New Orleans, says her male regulars tend to order the same thing every time.The craft cocktail bar should be treated like a restaurant. You wouldn’t go to, say, Katz’s Deli in New York and order a PB&J instead of the pastrami sandwich, so why wouldn’t you order a bar’s specialty? Especially because drink makers like Kip Moffitt—head bartender at Superbueno, a New York bar that ranked ninth on the list of North America’s 50 Best Bars of 2026—talk about their cocktails as though they’re the head chef at Le Bernardin reading the daily specials.John ShyloskiThis vodka y soda at Superbueno is deceptively simplistic.“The inspiration for the drinks pulls through the staff’s time in New York and our upbringing,” Moffitt says. “Mexico and other parts of Latin America are represented here, and it’s reflected in our cocktail program. Our mango martini is influenced by the women that sell slices of mango on the subway platforms.”At Jac’s on Bond, Rojas uses inspiration from her multicultural upbringing in Queens. At Cure, bartenders draw on their southern roots to reinvent classics with unique twists. When you study the culture behind the bar, learn the flavors and inspirations that make up its menu, and order accordingly, you’ll find that you not only expand your palate but also enrich your experience. Plus, if you’re going to recommend a cool spot to your friends, you better have a favorite drink on the menu for your word to hold any weight.Additionally, many guys think ordering something simple like a tequila soda will be more cost-effective because it offers more alcohol per dollar. But that’s not always the case. Bartenders like Rojas know precisely what goes into each drink on the menu, so if price is an issue, ask for a recommendation, and trust the bartender to steer you toward a good-value drink.As a first step to broadening their cocktail horizons, Delucia encourages guys to try an on-menu twist on their favorite classics. One trick she employs is swapping spirits, such as using tequila instead of vodka in an espresso martini, which Delucia says “open[s] up the world of tequila to people who wouldn’t usually try it.”Moffitt has also jumped on that idea. Superbueno’s vodka y soda is no ordinary vodka soda. It’s made from a painstakingly developed house-made guava syrup that offers the perfect balance of tangy citrus and sweetness. The vodka is infused with pasilla chile pepper that gives it a little kick. Doesn’t that sound infinitely more exciting than your usual?With such mouthwatering options available, there’s no reason to cause your bartender’s next eye roll. Look down at the menu they hand you, study it, order what stands out, and chat with your bartender about the inspiration behind the drink. You might make their night. If you order more than one, you’ll be on your way to becoming their favorite customer—and one drink closer to hearing those coveted words: “The next one is on me.”