Made a deal with God: Mrunal Thakur reflects on 4-year wait for Pooja Meri Jaan

Mrunal Thakur, who was recently seen in Pooja Meri Jaan, reflected on the four-year wait, how she has evolved as an actor, and why the film remains deeply personal to her. She also opened up about the judgment women face and the constant speculation surrounding her personal life.For Mrunal Thakur, Pooja Meri Jaan is more than just another film in her career. Shot nearly four years ago, at a time when she was finding her footing after Sita Ramam, the film has finally reached audiences. But despite the long wait, Mrunal says her emotional connection with the project has remained untouched.In an exclusive conversation with India Today, the actor spoke about finally seeing the film released. "I remember telling you that this film was literally my baby. After Sita Ramam, this was the film I was working on. And finally, it's out, and it's being loved by so many people. There has been so much appreciation, and all I can feel is gratitude. I'm very, very, very happy," Mrunal said.The actor's career has witnessed a considerable shift in the years since she shot the film. Asked whether its delayed release allows audiences to see an older version of Mrunal, she admitted that she had never quite looked at it that way. "I've never thought about it. But yes, I've realised that things don't always work the way you want them to. So, I've made a deal with God. Let things happen when they're meant to happen. And I'm so happy," she shared.Interestingly, watching herself in the film today has also made Mrunal reflect on how much she has evolved as a performer. "There are certain scenes where I was telling our director, Navjot, and my co-actor, Vikram, that maybe I would have performed them differently today. But he was like, 'No, Mrunal. The way you did it, you needed that vulnerability, that rawness.' Maybe I would have performed those scenes more effortlessly today, but perhaps I would also have been a little more restricted while playing that character. So, I feel people have now got to see a different version of me, which is really beautiful," she said.'I remember every single thing about the film'While a four-year wait could make an actor feel distant from a project, Mrunal insisted that she never experienced that with Pooja Meri Jaan. "Never. Never, ever. You know, when you love someone, you always remember the good things about them because those are the best memories of your life. If I close my eyes and think about what I was doing while shooting a particular scene, I remember every single thing," she recalled."And you won't believe this, but since Pooja Meri Jaan, I've changed two phones. But I still have so many memories on my old phone. When I was revisiting those memories and going down memory lane, everything felt so fresh. I remember every single thing. I even remember what I ate that day because I was on a very strict diet. And I'm very proud of this film," she added.The actor believes the film's subject gives it a relevance that extends well beyond its release. "This is the kind of film that will grow slowly. It's not just relevant today. It might be relevant the day after tomorrow as well because this is a topic that will always remain relevant. So, I'm really proud of it," Mrunal said.Recalling her very first day on set, Mrunal spoke about an emotionally charged scene, "There's a scene with Vikram, the character I was going to get married to in the film. That was literally the first scene of the movie that we shot. There's this conversation where I tell him, 'You need all the Excel sheets. Have I ever asked you who you like or dislike?' You know, blah, blah, blah. But it was a very important scene. I say, 'I was going to marry you, Vikram.' That was my first day and my first scene of the film. We shot it at The Imperial in Delhi," she said. 'We never knew this would become such a big issue'Speaking about the emotional challenges of working on Pooja Meri Jaan, Mrunal revealed that preparing for the role required her to understand difficult situations and experiences."So, it was a very challenging film for me, emotionally, if you ask me. I had read some case studies, but there weren't many such case studies involving big personalities at that time. When Navjot wrote this film, I think he wrote it around 2016–17. I'm not entirely sure about the year. But this film is relevant today because of the cases we're seeing now. When we wrote it, it was purely just a movie. We never knew that this was going to become such a big issue," she shared.Although she wishes the film had arrived sooner, the actor is encouraged by the conversations it has started, particularly among young men."I wish the film had been released at the time it was originally supposed to. But nevertheless, I'm happy that it has finally come out. And a lot of people have been reaching out to me, especially boys," she said.Sharing some of the reactions she has received, Mrunal added, "They've been saying, 'We didn't know. We were pressurising girls even when they said no. We should have just accepted that a no means no. It doesn't mean try harder.'"'When people can't find anything in your present, they dig into your past'The conversation about the film's themes also led Mrunal to reflect on her own experiences with societal judgement and the scrutiny surrounding women's personal lives.Asked whether she believes women are still judged more for how they choose to live than for what they actually do, the actor was quick to draw a connection with the film."That's the reason why I've done this film. Of course, when people can't find anything in your present, they dig into your past. And that's exactly what's been happening with me," she said.Mrunal also spoke about how easily ordinary interactions can become the subject of relationship rumours."I'm not somebody who would hold on to it because, yes, I've been vulnerable in the past. And to be honest, the way you talk to someone with a smile or hold someone's hand, today's society immediately calls it dating. It's really shameful and very sad," she said."If I go for coffee by myself and four people happen to leave at the same time, the media will link me with all four of them. They'll say, 'Today, Mrunal was spotted with four people. She's in a relationship with four people.' And I'm like, what world are we living in? What world are we living in?" she questioned.Mrunal said that she has never been someone who feels the need to hide the people she loves, making the constant speculation even more frustrating."And these rumours! I love flaunting the people I love. I love talking about the projects I do. And you've seen how active I am on social media. So, what's with all these rumours? What's with these headlines?" she added.She continued, "I think whenever a season of Bigg Boss or The Traitors ends, they start targeting us because people need drama in their lives. When toxic people leave, life becomes boring. So, they need somebody to target. And I'm like, we're public figures. This is part and parcel of our lives," she said.'I'm in a one-sided relationship with my sleep'While Mrunal has learnt to deal with the rumours surrounding her personal life, she admitted that there was a time when reading stories about herself became emotionally exhausting."'What am I reading about myself?' It was exhausting. It was exhausting," she recalled.However, the actor has found her own way of dealing with the speculation, often turning to her parents and humour."But then I just sit with my parents and tell them, 'Mom, I'm in a single relationship. I'm in a one-sided relationship with my sleep, where I want to sleep, but I can't sleep.' But if there is someone in my life, I will tell you," she said.Asked whether her parents understand her situation, Mrunal replied, "Of course they understand. If they don't understand their daughter, then who will? These are all rumours. Rumours are not true."Directed by Navjot Gulati, Pooja Meri Jaan also stars Huma Qureshi, Vikram Singh Chauhan and Vijay Raaz. The film premiered on ZEE5 on October 2.- Ends