Kathy Sheridan: Like Nikita Hand, the Cornell case Jane Doe is either uncommonly brave or a sado-masochist

Even on the most liberal reading, the circumstances in which seven Cornell University fraternity boys are alleged to have raped a woman student add up to a repugnant, contradictory nightmare of modern sexual mores. A 20-year-old woman’s date at a frat house with abundant supplies of ketamine allegedly quickly turned into a threesome with a second male student and ended with several more young men in the room. It was when the embarrassed young woman – known as Jane Doe – was browsing an online college forum some weeks later that she first encountered posts describing that night’s events as gang rape. The resulting social media firestorm is fuelled by a point of New York law, which states that voluntary intoxication is no bar to consent. Somewhere in there is a central truth contained in a Snapchat message sent that night signalling an accused man’s view of the drugged-up woman still in their fraternity house: “free pussy upstairs”. A vulnerable, intoxicated woman’s body seen as a thing to grab, use, boast about and trade. READ MORELike Nikita Hand at the beginning of her reckoning with Conor McGregor, this Jane Doe is either uncommonly brave or a stone-cold sadomasochist. A deluge of threatening, hate-filled misogyny is too mild a description of the response to the news that she had filed a lawsuit against the university, the frat house, seven current and former students and others. Reports of the subsequent opening of a criminal investigation hit the headlines last week. The Dublin Rape Crisis Centre (DRCC) was at the same time in the process of releasing a survey showing that nearly half of our 18 to 24-year-old men believe that “a lot” of rape allegations are false. Nearly four in 10 of them believe a victim under the influence of alcohol or drugs is partially responsible for being raped – ie is capable of fully consenting to sex. And three in 10 of them wouldn’t believe a claim of rape if it hadn’t been reported to the gardaí. The figures are staggering. It seems doubtful that any of these sceptical young men have even scanned the headlines in the court pages or been encouraged to absorb and discuss the details of a rape case or spoken to a woman relative who was assaulted. How would they respond to the case of an Irish 14-year-old, already drunk and vulnerable, when she was given more alcohol by a 19-year-old man at a house party before he raped her – and then told her if she revealed what happened, he would “ruin her life”. Does she, too, bear partial responsibility for her own rape? The desperately familiar charges included two counts of non-fatal strangulation, as well as two counts of oral rape and two of sexual assault. Just as predictable was the rapist’s use of pornography, which, according to his defence counsel, had skewed and warped his view of what is normal and acceptable in a healthy sexual relationship. [ Trial by everyone: Cornell case shows why Ireland’s strict court reporting rules matterOpens in new window ]Imposing a six-year sentence, Judge Tony Hunt noted how young men were acting out what they were seeing in online pornography as well as being exposed to “a kind of toxic masculinity shown by influencers ...” It was notable to hear an experienced judge feel bound to use that term “toxic masculinity”. It comes at a time when the preference is to avoid it at all costs for fear of driving young men into deeper radicalisation and rage through Andrew Tate and ilk. In an RTÉ interview last week, Rachel Morrogh, chief executive of the DRCC, suggested there is a job for us all “to do much better in bringing these men along with us ... simply criticising them isn’t going to work”. We need to help them, she said, to understand the reality of sexual assault without making them feel blamed or abused. [ How Cornell University punished seven men accused of sexual assaultOpens in new window ]But to some women, that sounds like a newly-minted version of the age-old understanding between the sexes: that women and girls must modify their behaviour and manage their feelings and language so they “bring men along” rather than merely criticising them. Morrogh didn’t say so, but the suggestion in many of these conversations is that we must avoid further enraging men – because it is girls and women inevitably who bear the brunt of that rage. But it’s not women’s fault that boys are bombarded with toxic influencers or violent pornography, or that some are afflicted with what masculinity scholar Michael Kimmel called “aggrieved entitlement”. Toxic masculinity is real and, like the judge, we should not be slow to say so. What needs refreshing is how the term is used. It’s plainly ridiculous to say that masculinity is bad. What makes it toxic is the unhealthy societal expectations of it, the kind that require “real” men to suppress emotion, be dominant, to devalue the feminine and prove status through physical threats and sexual conquest. For prominent examples, see the US president or the spotty career of the so-called US secretary of war, Pete Hegseth, for whom testosterone screening for “warfighters” is a priority. Or get those boys to check out the numerous posts from a ridiculously whiny Andrew Tate, currently in a US federal jail awaiting extradition on dozens of charges for crimes against women. Above all, tell them the revelations of this DRCC survey have real-life consequences for the girls and women they love. Tell them that recorded sexual offences have fallen sharply in the past year and discuss why that might be. The answer might surprise them.