I've suffered from cold sores for 40 years. They always made me feel diseased and dirty... until I found the solution. Now I no longer have to hide when one rears its ugly head

Daily Mail journalists select and curate the products that feature on our site. If you make a purchase via links on this page we will earn commission - learn moreI remember waking up on the morning of my first wedding, aged 26, and immediately knowing it was there. A warm throb at the corner of my lip, a pulse of physical pressure and that distinctive tingle that every cold sore sufferer dreads. As the sun dappled across the beautiful Italian hotel room I’d slept in alone, I scanned my mouth in an antique mirror for visible traces. Blurry as it was, I could see the inflammation growing around what was at that point a tiny blister. After all the planning, the dress fittings, the lace parasols, the rustic, yet timeless flower arrangements, the one thing I couldn’t control had reared its ugly head. It was my worst nightmare come true.Now 42, I had my first cold sore outbreak before I was two years old, caught from my dad who had suffered throughout his life. Globally, 3.8billion people under 50 – about 64 per cent of the world’s population – carry the herpes simplex virus type 1 (HSV-1), which is what causes cold sores. After the initial infection, most often caused by an infected, though not necessarily symptomatic, adult kissing a child, the virus lurks in a hibernation state in a cluster of sensory nerve cells located at the base of your brain. Once infected, you will never be able to cure or rid yourself of the virus – unlike my first, short-lived marriage, my relationship with my cold sores is truly until death us do part.For the unlucky ones like me, HSV-1 will – usually at the most inconvenient and devastating moment – reactivate and explode in sore(s) somewhere on the lips or around the mouth. Only about a third of people who carry the virus will ever develop these blistering lesions, with about one in five experiencing recurring outbreaks. To put it into context that’s around 12 per cent of everyone under 50 globally. We are not talking about a niche issue here.Outbreaks of sores can be triggered by stress, fatigue, illness, hormonal changes or strong sunlight, which temporarily weaken your immune system. Katherine last month during an attack of cold sores. She had her first cold sore outbreak before she was two years old, having caught it from her dad who had suffered throughout his lifeFrom my experience over the past 40 years, HSV-1 usually hits you at your lowest ebb: when your boyfriend leaves or you get made redundant. Or when you need to look your very best to feel confident or sexy – think the biggest presentation of your life or a date with someone you’ve fantasised about kissing for a decade. An oozing gash starts weeping on your face, almost as if the virus knows and is intent on exacting maximum misery.To anyone who has no experience of cold sores, this may all sound like hyperbole. Surely they are just a minor inconvenience? After all, they’re usually no larger than a fingernail. But that totally belies how cold sores feel in your body. OPTIONS TO TRY... 1. Taking an antiviral as soon as you feel the tingle has been proven to reduce the length of the outbreak. You can buy a five-day course of acyclovir tablets online as your first line of defence (I have three courses waiting in readiness) and your GP can prescribe valacyclovir, which absorbs better and so works quicker.2. Lots of people really rate the Compeed Cold Sore Patches – marketed as the ‘discreet’ option. They cover the sore, which can be helpful if you get really embarrassed by them. While not invisible, they definitely make the sore less obvious.3. Others swear by lysine supplements daily to act as a preventative (I take these and credit them with an overall reduction of outbreaks).4. Also, a concentrated heat zapper called Herpotherm claims to help, although reviews are mixed.5. Dabbing on propolis, aka bee glue, can also be healing as it has antiviral properties that can help to reduce pain and shorten healing times.6. It’s vital to use SPF lip balm when you’re in the sun, and avoid any kind of intense UV like sunbeds. First, they are – clue’s in the name – very sore. As they progress from a tingle to multiple tiny blisters that burst and re-form, crusting over with a ginger-coloured scab, which will often peel off to reveal the angry inflamed skin beneath, you are always hyperconscious of them. Second, they can be impossible to shift and, even when you’re through the worst of it, the sore can seem to reanimate and come back from the grave. My last outbreak was active for 12 days, then on day 14 I felt it start throbbing again. Mayday!Third, they actually make you feel unwell, with almost flu-like symptoms. As your immune system sends white blood cells to fight off the virus, you often experience systemic fatigue, body aches and fever. There’s also the very obvious vanity issue. As a fashion content creator and author who is often speaking in public or in front of the camera, a crusty scab on my face is not the kind of accessory I’m looking for.But the biggest element, the part that still bizarrely feels so taboo, is the way other people treat you. When I recently posted a picture of myself with an active sore on Instagram to my 92,000 followers – something I had never done in my 13 years of working on social media – the outpouring of solidarity and stories was immense. I heard tales of women whose partners made them sleep in different rooms when they had an outbreak, of a boyfriend who would regularly make his HSV-1-carrying other half submit to checks before engaging in any kind of sexual activity. There were stories of school bullying: one girl was continually asked why she had a cornflake attached to her face. I heard from mothers of teenagers who won’t leave the house with an active sore, from parents who were devastated to have passed a sore to their small kids even though they’d taken precautions. In this age of oversharing, you’d never think that a condition affecting more than a fifth of the world’s population could be so stigmatised, but many spoke of finding their cold sores humiliating and debilitating.Personally, my sores have always made me feel diseased and dirty.The fact that some people believe oral cold sores are sexually transmitted is probably where a lot of the shame begins. While genital herpes is spread through sexual contact, it’s a distinct virus variant – HSV-2. Though it’s important to note that most people don’t spread or catch any kind of herpes because they are careless. No matter where it breaks out or which strain of the virus you carry, no one deserves to be judged as some kind of degenerate simply because they caught a bug. Flu, Covid and the common cold are all viruses that nearly everyone catches at some point in their life.Now I’m older, I can rationalise that it’s probably something that doesn’t deserve the level of emotional energy I give it. To anyone else in the same boat, I feel you with such deep solidarity, but it’s high time for us to stop hiding away like lepers.Finding an effective treatment, of course, helps with that – and while I will say it’s hard to dodge a bad attack, there are lots of options to try (see above).While this may not be the chicest subject I’ve ever broached in print, and I still feel a lingering embarrassment, the only way we can overcome it is by being frank. This virus is so widespread and most of us were infected before we turned five – no one deserves to carry shame about anything they have no control over. To all my HSV-1 sisters and brothers, it’s time to load up on your antivirals and give yourself some grace. Cold sores are not your fault; you are not disgusting. HSV-1, like mosquitoes, slow wi-fi and never having a £1 piece for the supermarket trolley, is just one of life’s kickers. Don’t let them stop you smelling the roses.