I’ve been through hell but a simple fix has left me happiest I’ve been in years, says Fearne Cotton ahead of TV return

FOR years she was known as the bubbly, party-loving star of Celebrity Juice and Top Of The Pops. But Fearne Cotton then retreated from our screens for six years as she dealt with divorce and terrifying tumours in her jaw. Fearne Cotton has revealed how she retreated from our screens due to a crippling battle with anxiety Credit: Getty Fearne spent six years away as she dealt with divorce and terrifying tumours in her jaw Credit: Getty She was crippled by such anxiety that she endured panic attacks, was scared to socialise, ­struggled to do TV work and couldn’t even drive a car. Today she tells The Sun on Sunday how she has just filmed a new series of TV’s Landscape Artist Of The Year for Sky Arts, feels happier than she has in years, and how the realisation she needed some “fun” back in her life finally helped her to recover. Sign up for the Showbiz newsletter Thank you! Fearne, 44, who has spent years focusing on her wellbeing and mental health, believes the ­pressure society now puts on people to be perfect humans is “destructive”. The mum of two says: “We put more things on our plate. We’ve got to tick off the list that I’m eating right, and I’m exercising all the time, and I’m covering myself in green juice, and I’m sticking things in my ears. “Like, wait a minute — are you actually having fun? “We all need to put fun into the wellness conversation. It’s been totally eradicated. We’re here to live — and living and having fun is messy. “That’s the bit I wasn’t doing. I was having no fun, because I was just in my house. I realised if I go out and have fun, and I have a couple of drinks, yeah, I might feel a little ropey the next day. “But worrying too much about this stuff is all bonkers. Most read in Showbiz Former Celebrity Juice star Fearne has spent years focusing on her wellbeing and mental health Credit: ITV TV and radio star Fearne began her career presenting children’s shows and now has her own podcast Credit: ITV “I want to get to, hopefully, 90, and look back and go, ‘I had so much fun’. I’m not going to look back and go, ‘I’m so glad I had eight hours of sleep every night for 90 years’. “That, to me, is a new priority in my mid-40s — making sure that I go out and have a nice lunch with a bunch of really good people, have a few drinks with my girlfriends from school, get a bit p**sed, have a bit of a giggle. I’ll wake up the next day, still laughing. “That can boost me for an entire week of solo parenting.” Fearne, who presents the Happy Place podcast, has been in the spotlight since the age of 15, when she won a nationwide talent search to present TV’s The Disney Club. After presenting a number of children’s shows — and meeting one of her best friends, Holly Willoughby, along the way — she hosted Love Island and The Xtra Factor before landing jobs on Radio 1 and Radio 2. Festival-loving Fearne met musician Jesse Wood, 49, the son of Rolling Stone legend Ronnie, in June 2011 while on a girls’ holiday in Ibiza. They married in 2014 after having son Rex, now 13, and went on to have Honey, ten. But by December 2024 Fearne revealed she had two benign tumours on her jaw and needed surgery. Then the couple announced an “amicable” split. By then the star says she had become a “sort of hermit”. Fearne divorced from husband Ronnie Wood, the son of Rolling Stone legend Ronnie Credit: Getty – Contributor In December 2024 Fearne revealed she had two benign tumours on her jaw and needed surgery Credit: Fearne explains: “I was very scared of getting things wrong, like getting socialising wrong. “I built up a snowball of ­anxiety that could be triggered by just stumbling over a word in a conversation. “I could go to a party and then come home and repeat every word that I’d said on a loop, and I couldn’t sleep. It was just nuts. “I was crippled with anxiety. I had panic attacks constantly. There were lots of things I couldn’t do — I couldn’t drive a car, couldn’t do a lot of TV work I’d been doing. I just felt ­debilitated. “Now I’m having loads of fun. And for anyone stuck in deep anxiety, I believe it’s ­absolutely possible to get out of it. “If it’s debilitating to the point where you can’t do things, you’ve got to face things that you might not want to face.” A therapist helped the star realise she was actually struggling with anger. Speaking at health and wellness festival The Longevity Show, Fearne recalled: “She said to me, ‘I don’t think you’ve got panic disorder or anxiety ­disorder — I think you’re really angry’. “At first, I was like, I am not angry, I just can’t cope in my life. And then the more I went back, the more I realised I’m livid about certain things. “Knowing how to channel anger in a healthy way has not entirely eradicated my anxiety but it got rid of 80 per cent of the debilitating stuff. “We all know that stress will ­manifest physically. I had a tumour in my face two years ago that I had removed, and as soon as I had it diagnosed, I was like, oh, I know exactly what that is. “That is clutching my jaw. I was so intense and livid before the therapist had revealed this kind of epiphany. Fearne believes the ­pressure society now puts on people to be perfect humans is “destructive” Credit: ITV She was once known for taking part in risque scenes on Celebrity Juice with Holly Willoughby Credit: itv “It’s not good for us. We know it’s not. I’m pretty sure it is disastrous for all physical health.” Fearne believes that stopping being a people-pleaser, realising that ­everybody makes mistakes and being ­kinder to herself has changed her life. She says: “It’s so hard to believe that you deserve it, that you should invest time in making yourself feel better or healing yourself from stuff that you’ve been through. “Just think: What about you? What about yourself? Why do you still hate yourself on certain days? Or why do you still not forgive yourself for ­certain things or assume that you’re the only one that’s gotten everything wrong all the time? “That’s been a really key factor in me feeling good and not being back where I was almost ten years ago.” After slowly rebuilding her confidence, she realised she could return to TV after hosting her last series in 2019. Now amateur artist Fearne has become the new co-presenter of Landscape Artist Of The Year, which will air next year on Sky Arts. She says: “I was really petrified about stepping back into that ­environment. But more recently, I felt good enough to push myself out of my comfort zone and back into TV. “Before, I’d get so worked up, and go, ‘Am I doing a good enough job on TV? Will people like this?’. “And all of my happiness will be derived from the results at the end of whether it’s well received.” But after filming in Yorkshire she realised she felt “elated” again. She says: “Last night I arrived back in London, really late at night, and I was saying goodbye to the crew. “I gave them all a huge hug. I got so elated that I was working with these brilliant people and we’d had this amazing day together. “The end ­product was almost irrelevant. It’s the experience of interacting with good people that boosts me, and makes me feel good, and hopefully I can do the same.” Fearne recalls certain TV projects in her past were very different. She says: “It was a cyclone of negativity where everyone is kind of tiptoeing around everybody else. “There’s no communication and then you feel disconnected. “The show I’m working on currently feels like the antithesis of that. “Everybody’s bouncing off each other. It only takes one person in a room who wants to alleviate tension or bring the mood up, then it’s just a ripple effect through the group, and it’s a pretty powerful thing.” The Longevity Show returns to London on April 16 & 17 next year and makes its New York debut next May. Comment now