I’ve been secretly paying my husband’s parking fines for years – he has no idea

In our Money Secrets series, we ask people to confess their furtive money-related secrets which they are hiding from loved ones or that people do not know the full extent about. Today, we speak to Heather, whose husband Andy has received hundreds of parking fines over the last 10 years – but has refused to pay a single one. But while gloating to friends about getting one over the authorities and why it is important to take a stand, he is oblivious to the fact that Heather has been secretly paying his fines for years as she is terrified of getting into trouble. I’ve always been quite proud of my husband Andy’s principles and the way he stands up for what he believes in and always fights for the underdog. However, there is one thing we definitely don’t see eye to eye on and that’s the war he wages against traffic wardens, and any kind of authority or organisation that hands out parking fines. The problem is, he thinks he has been taking them on and calling their bluff for years by refusing to pay the fines – and he wrongly believes he has gotten away without paying his parking fines for years. However, he doesn’t realise I am terrified of getting into trouble so have been bailing him out by secretly paying off the fines so no further action is taken. It all started just over 10 years ago when he had a couple of successes when it came to taking on the “system” when it comes to parking fines. The first time was when we had gone on a trip to the theatre in another city and when we drove there, the road he usually drove down to get there was closed and there was a yellow diversion sign which he followed instead. However, as soon as he followed the diversion, he realised it had taken him on to a bus lane and he immediately turned around. But it was too late and a few days later, he got a fine through the post. He appealed it telling them about the diversion sign and he was so indignant when they rejected it, that he took it to an independent tribunal – and he won. Andy was absolutely thrilled with his victory and told everyone about it and urged them to do the same and stand up to local authorities when they feel they have been wrongly issued with a parking ticket. Then a few months later, we ended up taking Andy’s mum to the hospital after she had a fall. We struggled to find somewhere to park at the hospital car park, so Andy ended up parking the car on double yellow lines as his mum was in so much pain. When we got back to the car, there was a ticket saying Andy had to pay a fine. He ripped it up and said he wasn’t going to pay it. So he just ignored it. And when a reminder came through the letterbox telling him to pay it or the fine would go up, he ignored that too. And nothing ended up happening and the problem just seemed to disappear. Andy felt vindicated in not paying the fines, and while I think he was justified in those cases, the power seemed to go to his head and he now seems to think that he is some sort of caped crusader who doesn’t have to ever pay any parking fines and that if he simply ignores them, nothing will happen if he holds his nerve. Since then, he seems to deliberately park wherever he wants and seems to think the parking rules apply to other people and not him and he disregards parking signs. Residents parking only spaces, spaces which only have a limit of one hour, parking spaces meant for taxis only, he seems to park in them all, however much I beg him not to. When the inevitable fine arrives, he tosses it to one side and says he won’t pay it as nothing will happen. And nothing ever does happen – but only because unknown to him, I have been secretly ringing up and paying them as I am terrified of getting into trouble. I like a peaceful life. The first time I did it, I thought it would be a one-off and it would be the end of it – but the more Andy thought he had got away without paying a parking fine, the more laissez-faire he has got about where he parks as he thinks there will be no repercussions. What started as a one-off has now become a regular expense for me and I am literally paying hundreds of pounds in parking fines every year. Andy doesn’t realise because as well as having a joint account, we have our own accounts too – and I’ve been paying the fines out of my own money. It has got to the point that I have been doing it for so long now, that I can’t possibly tell Andy. His pride would definitely be dented and he is so proud of himself for “getting one over” the establishment and gloating to our friends about his bravery in holding his nerve against parking companies, that I would hate to wipe the smile off his face and make him feel stupid. But I also can’t keep wasting money on parking fines that could easily be avoided if he just stuck to the rules. So I am hoping to be a bit more persuasive in telling him where he should park. *Names have been changed to protect identities. Share your Money Secret by emailing: Aasma.day@theipaper.com. Identities will be protected.