I’m as handsome as Brad Pitt yet I’m still single and the only women I sleep with are escorts – what am I doing wrong?

DEAR DEIDRE: AN AI app told me I was almost as handsome as Brad Pitt, so why can’t I get a woman? I’ve got a great gym body, a square jaw, straight teeth, all my own hair, and I’m well-endowed. Yet the only women I have slept with in the past few years have been escorts. Although I’m now 36, I’ve never been on a proper date or had a romantic relationship in my life. Sign up for the Dear Deidre newsletter Thank you! I just can’t work out what I’m doing wrong. I’m tall, look after myself, dress well and make an effort to be polite and respectful. My friends tell me I’m a good bloke. Live Chat and Contact Dear Deidre Live Chat with one of our trained counsellors Monday to Thursday from 1pm to 4pm. In Live Chat Hours:On your desktop or mobile, a ‘live chat with us’ button will appear below. Click it, and the chat box will appear and you will be connected with one of Deidre’s team. If you’re on the The Sun app, click here. If you would like to contact any of the counsellors outside of these hours, you can contact us:Via email: deardeidre@the-sun.co.ukOr send a confidential form here.DM us on Instagram: @Dear DeidreDM us on Facebook: @DearDeidreOfficial Although I believe I have a lot to offer, whenever I approach a woman, I get rejected or ignored. Last week, I downloaded an AI attractiveness rating app, hoping it might help. It rated me eight out of ten. George Clooney is only a nine! Yet, every day, I see men who would only score a three or four with gorgeous women on their arms, and that makes me feel angry and resentful. After years of disappointment and loneliness, I resorted to using escorts just so I can have physical intimacy. It’s not what I want but it’s better than nothing. The other evening, I asked one of them if I was ­handsome and she said I was. I’m worried seeing escorts is going to make it even harder to find a woman to settle down with. But without them, I’d be even more isolated and frustrated. What am I doing wrong? I don’t want to get to 40 and still be single, especially as at that age, my looks will start fading. DEIDRE SAYS: You’re focusing far too much on your appearance. Physical features are only part of what makes someone attractive to other people. Confidence, kindness and sharing conversation are far more important when it comes to finding a mate. You sound like you don’t have very high self-esteem, which women will sense. Please read my support pack, Raising Self-esteem, for tips on how to build your confidence. When it comes to dating, think about your interests and look for a woman who shares them. Join clubs and activities where you’ll meet like-minded people and make friends – the best basis for a romance. Stop seeing the escorts and start focusing on making friends with women, that’s how a relationship will develop. Also please read my support pack, Finding The Right Partner For You. BODGED-JOB PLUMBER IS TOO BUSY TO FIX HIS ERROR DEAR DEIDRE: I HAVE been left high and dry by a plumber. I paid him good money to install a new shower and fix a leak. But he did a botched job and now he won’t come back to correct it. I’m a 47-year-old single man, living alone in a small house. Within days of the plumber’s visit, water was dripping through my kitchen ceiling. The sealant looked like it had been slapped on with a shovel. I’ve phoned him countless times and sent email after email, begging him to come back and put things right. Every time I get the same excuse – he says he doesn’t have time because he’s too busy with other jobs. I even contacted Checkatrade, only to be told he isn’t one of its members. What should I do? I can’t afford to pay another plumber to mend the job. DEIDRE SAYS: Sadly, you’ve been the victim of a rogue trader. The good news is you have options. Write a formal “letter before action”, giving the plumber 14 days to repair the work or reimburse your costs. If he still refuses, you can take action through the small claims court, which is designed for disputes like this. It will take a while, but you should get your money back. Keep copies of your contract, invoices, any emails, photographs and independent quotes for repair work. Contact Citizens Advice (citizensadvice.org.uk). It may be able to report him to Trading Standards. SHE WILL NOT VISIT HER DYING FATHER DEAR DEIDRE: MY husband is dying of terminal cancer in a hospice, yet his daughter and son-in-law don’t visit him. I’m 58 and my husband is 64. His daughter and her husband are in their early thirties. I’m heartbroken by their behaviour. My husband has terminal cancer. I’ve spent weeks sending regular texts updating them on his condition, yet neither of them has bothered to turn up. The final straw came when he phoned them himself and said, “I’m dying”. His son-in-law’s reply? “I didn’t know that.” I couldn’t believe it after all my updates. It’s his daughter’s birthday soon, but I can’t carry on pretending everything is fine. He doesn’t want to see her again and, once he dies, I plan to cut ties. Are we wrong? DEIDRE SAYS: Your husband’s final weeks should be about feeling loved and comforted, not chasing after relatives. Sadly, you can’t make people behave how they should. But do be aware that it could be that they are frightened or in denial about his death, rather than that they don’t care. If your husband is clear that he now doesn’t want to see his daughter or her husband, respect this. Focus on making his remaining time as calm and meaningful as possible. Once he’s passed, you’re under no obligation to maintain contact with his daughter and son-in-law. But you will need support and may find them more helpful and understanding. My support pack, Coping With Bereavement, should assist when the time comes. I SUSPECT HUBBY IS SECRETLY GAY DEAR DEIDRE: ALL the signs suggest my husband is gay – but he totally denies it. Meanwhile, I’m trapped in a sexless marriage and desperately want a baby. I’m 33 and my husband is 40. We have been together for 14 years. We used to have a good relationship, and a healthy amount of passion. But over the past few years, things have changed. We barely communicate and are never intimate. In fact, he won’t even kiss me properly. A peck on the cheek is all he offers. I feel so rejected and ugly. What makes it worse is I really want to be a mum. Obviously, that can’t happen without sex. He won’t discuss it. I know he watches a lot of porn, mainly involving gay men and transgender women. I have absolutely no issue with anyone’s sexuality, but I feel like he’s hiding a huge part of himself from me. If he’s gay or bisexual, I’d rather he were honest so I knew. But he says he isn’t gay, “it’s just porn” and I’m being ridiculous. I don’t know what to do. DEIDRE SAYS: The content of the porn your husband views suggests he may have gay or bisexual fantasies. But this doesn’t necessarily reflect a desire to act out these fantasies in real life. The real problem here is the lack of honesty, communication and intimacy in your marriage. You deserve a husband who is willing to have tough conversations and work with you towards the future you want. He can’t avoid this for ever, especially if you want a baby. It’s time for him to be honest with you so you can create the happy lives you both deserve. My support pack, Standing up For Yourself, should help you raise the issue. But you may need professional couple’s counselling to work on the problems in your marriage. For an appointment, you can contact tavistockrelationships.org.