I'm a psychiatrist, and I've seen what happens when estranged families end up living near one another again... and it's rarely good. This is the ONE thing Prince Harry needs to do to make things right with William

The news that the Duke and Duchess of Sussex are moving back to Britain with Archie and Lilibet made me think of the examples I have witnessed in clinics over the years during my time as a psychiatrist.Because I have seen what happens when estranged families end up living near one another again, and it rarely ends in the reconciliation that some members dream of.In fact, the estrangement just becomes harder to ignore.Distance allows a rift to set in. When there are thousands of miles between feuding families, it’s easy not to speak. Both sides are free to tell themselves a convenient story about who was at fault.When they are nearby, this changes quite dramatically.I have had patients who kept a brother or a sister at arm’s length for decades, and who were astonished at how quickly they found they had to address the rift when one of them moved back to the same town.Once there are birthdays and Christmases in the same country, once there are cousins who want to see one another, remaining estranged becomes more complicated.It is uncomfortable for everyone involved, but – handled right – it is also, in my experience, the thing most likely to shift a long-standing falling-out. Harry and William during the unveiling of a statue to their late mother Diana in 2021 The news that the Duke and Duchess of Sussex are moving back to Britain with Archie and Lilibet made me think of the examples I have witnessed in clinics over the years, writes Dr MaxTherapy and letters help, but nothing brings matters to a head like having to be in the same room now and then. It either gets worse or it heals, but rarely does it stay the same.Hearing of Harry’s return also put me – and many others, I don’t doubt – in mind of the parable of the prodigal son, one of those Bible stories that most of us know. It’s about a boy who takes his inheritance early, squanders it in a faraway country, ends up impoverished and returns home. The father who sees him coming up the road runs out to meet him with a robe and the fatted calf.Whatever you believe, or don’t believe, it is a moving, edifying account of a father’s love for his son. And although it was told as a metaphor for God’s love for humanity, it works just as well as a model of what unconditional love looks like.The King, we are told, was informed on the Sunday, only three days before the rest of us.Nothing has changed with the Megxit arrangement made in 2020. There is no half-in and half-out, and the couple remain private individuals. Yet the response from the Palace was that the King welcomes the chance to see more of his son and his grandchildren.Despite everything, he is being given a warm welcome by his father. I’m sure Charles has made mistakes as a father, as every parent has, but in keeping the door open to a son who has said a great deal about him in public, he has shown himself to be a good one.However, there is one character in the story of the prodigal son that gets easily overlooked: the elder brother. He is out working in the field when he hears the music, and when he learns what it is for, he is furious and will not go in and join the celebrations.His complaint is, to my mind, perfectly justified: years of service, never once disobedient, and never so much as a young goat to celebrate with his friends. Then the younger son waltzes back in and is received with open arms. The key part of the parable is that the son apologises before the calf is killed, says Dr MaxWhat I find moving is that the father leaves the welcome home party and goes out to plead with him, telling him that he has always been there and that everything the father has is his.The parallel with the Prince and Princess of Wales is hard to avoid. Harry has caused great hurt and some of this was at a time when Catherine was seriously ill and the King himself was having treatment for cancer.They kept a dignified silence, but the pain it caused must have been tremendous.Whatever welcome Harry receives from his brother will have to be earned and that means accepting the hurt and upset he has caused.Simply turning up on these shores again, suitcase in hand, doesn’t mean things go back to how they were.The situations I have witnessed over the years have made me realise that there always needs to be a mea culpa, some humility and acknowledgment of what has been done.And so I find that I am prepared to give the Sussexes a chance. Time will tell whether Harry sees his mistakes.The key part of the parable is that the son apologises before the calf is killed.He does not arrive expecting a party, he comes home having worked out what he did wrong and admits this openly.Everything that follows is because of his contrition.If Harry is going to be welcomed back, he must realise he has caused a lot of people upset and make amends for this. Then we might be more inclined to celebrate his return.Agonising legacy of cancerMost people have never heard of lymphoedema – a chronic swelling of the limbs, usually the arm or the leg, caused by damage to the lymphatic system. In this country it is often a consequence of successful cancer treatment, when surgery to remove lymph nodes leaves the lymph fluid nowhere to drain.About one in five people who have breast cancer treatment involving the lymph nodes will go on to develop it in the arm, and about 450,000 people in the UK are living with it. A swollen arm is not insignificant. A good friend of mine was devastated by it. It was painful, minimised her movement and she felt it was so unsightly, she stopped leaving the house. Sleeves do not fit, and neither do rings or watches. It can be managed with specialist physiotherapy and early referral, but we need to stop treating it as a minor cosmetic afterthought.A large new study of people aged 45-93 shows something both perplexing and intriguing. Those doing most physical activity in their leisure time had a 24 per cent lower risk of dementia, but those doing the most physical activity at work had a 20 per cent higher risk.This is known as the physical activity paradox, and the researchers say it’s not to do with movement. Manual work often comes with other factors that affect health: noise, air pollution, insecure hours, extreme exhaustion and little control over your own day.This last particularly interests me. I hear it all the time from patients who feel burned out: it’s not the demands of a job that grind them down, it’s having no control over how those demands are met.Dr Max prescribes... Men's ShedsThere are now about 900 Men’s Sheds across the UK, community workshops where men, mostly older and often recently retired or widowed, turn up to mend furniture, build things for local schools and drink a great deal of tea.I have lost count of the men who have told me they could never sit in a room and talk about their feelings. Yet almost all of them will talk quite happily while doing something else, side by side at a bench, with no eye contact required. It is one of the most effective antidotes to loneliness in men.Find your nearest at: menssheds.org.ukSome good news last week on melanoma, with reports a new treatment – made from a person’s own tumour – cut the risk of the cancer returning after surgery. It’s a great step forward, but do keep using suncream.