‘I was visiting Ireland every summer during the school holidays but I never really thought about moving there’

Lithuanian Monika Stankeviciute came to Ireland after a break-up in Sweden before settling in DroghedaMonika Stankeviciute: 'I was feeling kind of depressed here. The weather compared to Sweden was very bad.' Photograph: Nick Bradshaw Monika Stankeviciute (36) who moved to Ireland in 2016 from her native Lithuania, believes that living in Ireland has made her more friendly.“Lithuanians are more negative compared to Irish people,” Stankeviciute says. “Irish people are friendly, they are always smiling. Even if you don’t know the person you would say good morning or hello.”When asked about how Lithuanian people are different, Stankeviciute says:“We have a saying that ‘Neighbours are enemies’. If something good happens to you, the neighbour would be jealous of you.”Stankeviciute grew up in a town in northwestern Lithuania called Kuršėnai. When she was eight, her mother moved to Ireland for work and she was thereafter raised by her grandparents. READ MORE“I was visiting Ireland back and forth every summer during the school holidays but I never really thought about moving there.”She does not remember being very affected by her mother’s move. “I’m quite self-reliant, like, I don’t need nobody. I was a good child.”However, she does admit to being quite a grumpy teenager, and giving her grandparents a hard time during her adolescence. Monika Stankeviciute: 'I need time for myself. Weekends are for me.' Photograph: Nick Bradshaw After finishing school she enrolled in a local university to study building engineering but ended up dropping out before the end of first year. “The professor said, you won’t be an engineer. You will work on a construction site after university. I said wow, for the money that I am paying this is not worth it.”Her boyfriend at the time had just moved to Sweden where he was working on construction sites and so after dropping out Stankeviciute moved there to be with him. She worked for a Lithuanian construction company based in Sweden and said that the wages were better there than in Lithuania. “Everyone around me was Lithuanian. I didn’t really learn Swedish. That’s my one regret. I could have learned Swedish, it’s not that hard. Swedish people were very nice and friendly but they kept their distance.” Though she worked for Swedish people, she said that they all had perfect English and so she never felt any pressure to learn the language.However, she had learned English at school. While today in Lithuanian schools there is a big focus on learning English, Stankeviciute said that when she was growing up it was not seen as such a priority, but she worked hard to become fluent. After eight years together, Stankeviciute and her boyfriend broke up and, heartbroken, she moved back to Lithuania for a time. “Then mum said, do you want to come here to Ireland?”Her mother had previously asked her if she wanted to move to Ireland to be with her but Stankeviciute had said no. However, after her break-up she decided to take her mother up on the offer to move in with her in Dublin.“My mum said that she had found a job for me as a cleaning operative, so come quick.”It took her a while to warm to her new home.“I was feeling kind of depressed here. The weather compared to Sweden was very bad.”Compared to Ireland’s wet weather, Stankeviciute said that there are four very clearly defined seasons in Sweden and though the winters are cold and dark, good, hot weather is guaranteed in summer. Moving in with her mother after not living together for nearly 20 years was challenging. Her mother kept asking her “Where are you going? What are you doing? I was nearly 30-years-old!” At first, Stankeviciute said that she found expressing herself in English quite hard and felt a bit scared about talking in English. However, she quickly regained her confidence after she began to interact and talk to people. After living in Ireland for a few months Stankeviciute felt that she had to change how she spoke to people. At first she was talking to people here as she had always talked to other Lithuanians. However, she realised that she might have to change her approach after someone joked in front of her that people shouldn’t worry about how direct she can be as that was what she was used to. “I thought, hmm, maybe I need to change something as people might think that I am rude when I didn’t mean to be rude but it was just the way I was talking.”When asked how she found community in Ireland, Stankeviciute said that she is quite introverted and prefers her own company.“I don’t like to communicate too much. Like it’s draining for me. I don’t go to parties. I need time for myself. Weekends are for me, I do my things, don’t disturb me.”However a few years ago she met her boyfriend, who is originally from Mauritius, online.She decided to move in with him in Drogheda, Co Louth, which she prefers to Dublin as it is quieter and has everything she needs. Though she still commutes to Dublin every day for her job as a site manager for ABM Ireland, a commercial cleaning company. Stankeviciute is unsure of what the future might hold. Her boyfriend would quite like the two of them to move to Mauritius, which she has visited with him twice. “You know when you’re on holiday, it’s different. But if you have to work there, I’m not sure.”If they don’t move Stankeviciute wants to try to save for a house in Drogheda.We would like to hear from people who have moved to Ireland in the past 10 years. To get involved, email newtotheparish@irishtimes.com or send us two lines about yourself using the form below. IN THIS SECTION