I was lonely and working 15-hour days in the US. Moving to the Philippines gave me a community.

I was lonely and working 15-hour days in the US. Moving to the Philippines gave me a community. Britt McAllister said he struggled to find close friendships in the US. After moving to the Philippines, he found the sense of community he'd been missing. Provided by Britt McAlister. This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Britt McAlister, 56, who left the US to retire in the Philippines. It's been edited for length and clarity.I realized I wasn't happy with my life in the US.After my divorce, I was working 12 to 15 hours a day as a sales manager in the roofing industry. Each day, I'd get a few hours of alone time, then go to sleep and do it all over again.I had all the things I thought would make me happy: a car, a condo, a small yacht. But still, I felt like I was missing something.A large part of it was social connection, especially after the pandemic. My family and old friends were in Georgia, where I grew up, while I was working and living in Alabama, where I found it hard to make genuine friends. Despite having the material comforts he thought would make him happy, McAlister said he still felt something was missing. Provided by Britt McAlister. I could go to a bar and see people I knew, but I missed having someone I could call and say, "Let's grill out today. Let's invite some friends over." I tried pickleball and church, but everybody was paired up or had kids to get home to.A move to Florida didn't helpI thought a change of environment might help, so I put my condo up for rent and spent six months in an Airbnb in Pensacola, Florida. But it was the same thing: the locals tended to stick together, and it was still hard for me to make friends. That was when I started seriously researching other places to live.I considered Panama, Costa Rica, and Mexico, because they were only a short flight from home. I also looked at places like Portugal and Italy. However, I kept coming back to the same issue: I didn't speak the language. I wanted to live somewhere where I could communicate with local people.As I started watching YouTube videos about Southeast Asia, I came across an American guy based in Cebu City. We became friends online, and he walked me through what life in the Philippines was like.The more we talked, the more it felt like the right place for me. That cemented my decision.My dad and my brother thought I was crazy to leave, since they were still in the US. But I only saw them at Thanksgiving and Christmas, and I didn't want to put my life on hold just for those three or four days together each year.It took six months to get ready for the move. I sold my condo in Gulf Shores for $372,000 and retired from my job in November 2023. I worked out that I could live on a $3,000-a-month budget for eight years, until I was eligible to start collecting my Social Security and pension.In January 2024, I moved to the Philippines sight unseen. I had never been to Southeast Asia before. I came with one large suitcase, a carry-on, and a backpack with my computer. McAlister ended up becoming good friends with several other expats he met. Provided by Britt McAlister. As an American, I was allowed to enter the Philippines visa-free as a temporary visitor. After the first 30 days, I applied for a 29-day visa waiver, then began extending my stay every two months. The Philippines allows non-visa-required visitors to apply for extensions of up to 36 months from their most recent arrival.When the time comes, I'll decide on a longer-term plan.Finding my communityWithin two weeks of arriving in Cebu, I knew I loved it here.The American YouTuber I had been speaking with invited me to a meetup at Starbucks with several other guys. We eventually became close friends.We started traveling together, going out to eat, and hanging out at one another's houses. I'd found what I was missing in the US.Moving here also gave me a chance to explore a new hobby. Video creators I met through the expat community encouraged me to start a channel documenting my adventures.As my channel grew, people began reaching out to me, and I started hosting meetups. What began as one meetup has expanded to three a week: Monday nights at Texas Roadhouse, Thursday breakfasts, and Friday drinks with live music. Everyone is welcome, including locals.Many people say they didn't move halfway around the world just to spend time with other foreigners. Making videos gave McAllister a new hobby and led him to host gatherings and form new friendships in Cebu. Provided by Britt McAlister. But once they arrive, they often miss having people who share their cultural references and understand where they're coming from. Many of the Filipinos I've met, for example, have never seen or even heard of the movie "Forrest Gump."The meetups have become a place to meet friends, find travel partners, have meals, and go out. I want to make sure people don't come all the way here and end up by themselves and lonely.Looking back, I moved here for a change of pace, and it's worked out perfectly for me. Read next Amanda is a senior lifestyle reporter at Business Insider's Singapore bureau.Her reporting explores how people navigate major life transitions, including career changes, relocation, and retirement, with a particular focus on the experiences of those living in Asia. She also writes about travel, culture, wellness, and relationships.In 2025, she won the Singapore Press Club's Rising Stars Young Digital Journalist Award.She previously worked as a writer and video producer at a content marketing agency in Singapore. She graduated from the University at Buffalo with a BA (Hons) in Sociology. as told to