I was left out of mum’s will — now my stepdad is blowing the inheritance money

Hannah’s stepdad says he’s the sole beneficiary to her mum’s estate (Picture: Getty Images) Losing a parent is devastating, but finding yourself shut out of financial discussions by a surviving spouse has the potential to turn emotional pain into acute anxiety and lingering resentment. And when there’s a second marriage involved, with the complexities of shared property and accumulated savings, legal boundaries can clash even more sharply with assumptions of fairness. This week’s Money Problem comes from Hannah, 46, an NHS administrator in Hertfordshire, who lost her mum this year. Although her stepfather says he’s the sole beneficiary of her mum’s estate, Hannah is concerned something more sinister is going on, so asked Metro consumer champion, Sarah Davidson, what to do. The problem… My mum died six months ago after a short illness. She had been married to my stepfather for 22 years and I always thought we were close. He has told me that mum left everything to him but he will not show me the will or tell me what it says. He says it is private and that I will inherit whatever is left when he dies. He’s just bought a motorhome and has plans to move abroad (Picture: Getty Images) Mum owned half their home and had savings from my grandmother. I am her only daughter and I cannot shake the feeling that my stepfather is hiding something. He’s just bought a motorhome and is talking about moving abroad. Surely I am entitled to know what mum left and whether I have been cut out of my own inheritance? The answer… Ask Metro Use AI to go deeper into the stories you care about – powered by Metro and trusted publications. Oh Hannah. Firstly, I am so sorry. Losing someone you love is unspeakably hard. You’re grieving for your mother emotionally, with all of that loss, anger, sadness and the practical ramifications that bereavement brings. It’s vital to allow yourself to feel that. It’s also important to be aware of how feeling that may affect your emotional responses to other people and things that happen. What do you think Hannah should do? Request to see the will through legal channels.Check Discuss the matter openly with her stepfather.Check Consider taking legal action if necessary.Check Accept her stepfather's explanation and move on.Check Sign up to Metro's The Slice newsletter for your guide to what's on in London, with trusted reviews, offers and giveaways. Grief makes you hyper-vigilant, and watching your stepfather buy a motorhome and talk about moving abroad is going to be triggering when you have just lost one parent – particularly as you say you’re close to your stepfather. To help you find clarity, we must separate emotional hurt from the legal reality governing estates in England and Wales. When someone passes away leaving a valid will, their appointed executor must apply for a grant of probate before assets can be officially distributed. Once probate is granted by the registry, the will becomes a public document. This means you do not have to rely on your stepfather’s word if you want to see your mother’s wishes written down in black and white. Hannah can see a copy of her mum’s will via the probate registry (Picture: Getty Images/Westend61) You can search the GOV.UK probate registry online and order an official copy of the grant and the will for a very small fee of £16 per document. Or, if probate has not yet been issued, you can enter a standing search with the probate registry, which ensures that you will receive a copy of the grant as soon as it is issued, alerting you to any official estate administration steps your stepfather is taking. This official route removes the need for confrontational arguments and gives you factual proof of what your mother legally decided. Furthermore, understanding whether probate has been filed helps clarify whether your stepfather is acting as a lawful executor or whether proper administrative duties are being neglected. The harder truth involves your legal entitlement as an adult child. You do not have an automatic right to inherit if a valid will leaves everything to a surviving spouse. An adult child may be able to bring a claim under the Inheritance Act 1975 where reasonable financial provision has not been made, especially if they were financially dependent on the person who died. But these claims are fact-specific, carry a high threshold and usually have a six-month deadline from the date probate is granted, so take advice quickly if dependency applies. More Metro Money Problems Navigating this painful transition requires a careful balance between emotional boundaries and pragmatic legal steps. Do not let fear and anxiety cloud your judgement but do not remain entirely passive either. Checking public records provides an objective foundation. If legal action or mediation becomes necessary, approaching professionals early ensures you understand your rights completely without escalating unnecessary family hostility today. Going to a solicitor will incur costs, though, so you need to weigh up whether you think the financial (and personal) consequences are proportionate to the situation. Ultimately, knowledge is your strongest ally amid uncertainty right now. 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