I Told My Co-Worker My Baby’s Soon-to-Be Name. I Was Not Expecting That Reaction.

Good Job Photo illustration by Slate. Photo by PeopleImages/Getty Images Plus and Wirestock/Getty Images Plus. Sign up for the Slatest to get the most insightful analysis, criticism, and advice out there, delivered to your inbox daily. Good Job is Slate’s advice column on work. Have a workplace problem big or small? Send it to Laura Helmuth and Doree Shafrir here. (It’s anonymous!) Dear Good Job, I just started a new job while I’m five months pregnant. We have the baby’s name picked out, and I just shared it with a co-worker. My co-worker immediately froze. Then they took me aside and told me our immediate supervisor lost her toddler with the same name last year. This was her only child, born after a prolonged fertility struggle, and it happened in a horrific freak accident. My supervisor ended up getting divorced and is in therapy over it. Now I’m wondering if I should choose a different name for my own baby! The name is unusual enough that it may be hard to believe it’s a coincidence; in fact, I’m worried she’ll think I chose it after hearing about her child. What do I do? —Not a Name Ghoul Dear Not a Name Ghoul, Oh, what a terrible situation. The timing makes everything trickier. You’re new to the job, which means your employment is more tenuous. If you inadvertently upset your supervisor, she could find an excuse to fire you, and I’m guessing you need the job and its health insurance. You also don’t know the job well enough to predict how long you’ll stay or how long your supervisor will stay. If you love the job so far and want it to last, well, ask yourself if you still want to give your baby this name. If you had known about the supervisor’s toddler earlier, would you have chosen the name? If you stick with your choice, will it make you think of your supervisor? Will it remind you of that child? If this is a transitory workplace, that lowers the stakes a bit and gives you more options. Fewer co-workers are likely to form a close relationship with you or get to know your child. Your supervisor might avoid any baby talk for her own mental health. You don’t have to worry as much about long-term awkwardness or keeping secrets. Because that’s one good option: Keep the baby’s true name a secret. If anybody asks, use the baby’s middle name while you’re at work. —Laura More Advice From Slate My husband is very generous when it comes to his kids. They are all married and live in their own homes with their families. His youngest is in his 30s. He loves buying them “just because” gifts (e.g. TVs, gaming consoles, arcades). It would be nice if he did the same for me. I’ve talked to my husband about his shopping sprees. It goes in one ear and out the other. He just ignores me and ignores the fact that there are a lot of repairs needed at home. According to him, we just can’t afford everything I want fixed! But he has plenty of money to spoil his adult kids. Advice Workplace Jobs