I Thought My New Sports Car Was Safely Home in the Driveway. Then I Got a Tearful Call From My Wife.

Dear Prudence Advice by Enter your email to receive alerts for this author. Sign in or create an account to better manage your email preferences. Unsubscribe from email alerts Are you sure you want to unsubscribe from email alerts for Jenée Desmond-Harris? Aug 26, 20266:00 AM Photo illustration by Slate. Photo by Deagreez/Getty Images Plus and Fahmi Ruddin Hidayat/Getty Images Plus. Dear Prudence is Slate’s advice column. Submit questions here. Dear Prudence, My parents surprised me with a new sports car for my 30th birthday last month. Then three days after my parents gave me the car, I received a tearful call from my wife. She said her brother, “Dax” had totaled my car. The moment my brother-in-law “Dax” saw it, he began lobbying me to let him borrow it. In the decade that Dax has been driving, he has owned four cars and wrecked three of them. Two because he drove under the influence, and the other because he was driving while texting. Naturally, I told him it wasn’t happening. But apparantly Dax had prevailed upon my wife to let him borrow the car so he could use it to go meet a woman. The idea that he would return the car before I got home. and I would be none the wiser. Luckily neither Dax nor the person he hit were seriously injured, but I am outraged that my wife would allow her irresponsible dickhead brother to take the car after I made clear I didn’t want him using it. To add insult to injury, Dax is not only refusing to pay the deductible, he’s actually asking us to pay him for the week he missed work! My wife has apologized to me profusely, but I think this was a major violation of trust. Is this a relationship worth preserving? —Cars Can Be Replaced, Trust Can’t Dear Cars, The fact that you’ve put your marriage on the line over this tells me that no, it probably isn’t worth preserving, for many reasons in addition to the loss of your new car. There must have been existing issues in your relationship with trust, respect, and boundaries with family. What your wife did was totally wrong, and your feelings are absolutely valid. The way the feelings have led you to consider walking away from her forever should tell you everything you need to know. —Jenée Classic Prudie I just got out of the wreckage of a five-year marriage. My husband blatantly carried on an affair for two years with a young woman I considered my protégé. I counseled her on her career, recommended her special projects, and invited her into my home. I came home unexpectedly early one day and found them together in bed. Apparently everyone knew—neighbors, colleagues, mutual friends. I was so humiliated, I fled town, transferred out of state, and only communicated to my ex via my lawyer. A few friends kept me informed—she was pregnant, they were engaged, and just waiting for the ink to dry so they could have a wedding. Then my ex drove drunk and ended up crashing into a semi. Never miss new Slate Advice columns Get the latest from Prudie and our columnists in your inbox each weekday, plus special bonus letters on Saturdays. Advice Dating and Relationships Family