I thought I’d finally met ‘Mr Right’ — then I discovered his secret family

Do you really know the person you sleep next to each night? (Picture: Metro/Getty) When you get into a new relationship, it can sometimes be tempting to ignore all of the warning signs. You want to believe the best in someone — so much so that you buy into a fantasy that doesn’t really exist. This week’s sex column reader was desperate to fall in love. But, as it turns out, her ‘Mr Right’ was actually keeping a devastating secret from her. Keep reading to find out more, but before you go, check out last week’s dilemma, from a woman who’s regretting her recent one night stand. The problem… How can it be that the guy I was dating for 10 months turns out to be married and I knew nothing about it? And worse than that, he has two small children? I really thought I’d found my Mr Right; a lovely guy who had all the same interests, and the sex was out of this world. So the truth about him has completely floored me, and I just can’t seem to pick myself up. Even though my friends tell me I’m well shot of him, I feel completely devastated. My best friend was always sceptical about him, which I’ll be honest, I put down to jealousy. She just kept telling me he seemed too good to be true, and she turned out to be right. New here? Sign up for The Hook Up newsletter Hi, my name is Laura Collins, and every week I write Metro’s Sex Column. I’ve been working in newspapers since completing my counselling training 30 years ago, and it’s always a privilege to help readers. Read my column in The Hook Up newsletter every week (Picture: Laura Collins) If you enjoy my column, you should sign up for our weekly newsletter. It has it all – expert tips, steamy stories, and everything in between. Sign up now. And if you have a sex, dating or relationship dilemma, get in touch! Unbeknown to me, she did a bit of social media digging, which ended up with her getting in touch with the guy’s wife to double check whether her suspicions were right. She worried that the wife would go mad but instead she was very civil. She said it wasn’t the first time he’d cheated, and that if she didn’t have little children she’d have kicked him out long ago. I now know why he never invited me back to his place, saying it was a long way off, and he had an annoying flatmate. Ask Metro Use AI to go deeper into the stories you care about – powered by Metro and trusted publications. Of course I dumped him, and I know you’ll say I should be glad I’m no longer with such a dishonest scumbag. But I’ve had a lot of disastrous relationships and really thought this time things would be different. The advice I wonder why you fell for this guy so easily and yet your friend could see straight through him? She was rightly suspicious while, at the same time, you swallowed his lies without question. Are you so desperate for a committed relationship that you can’t see a red flag when it’s waved in front of you? Did you ignore some obvious signs? Looking too hard for Mr Right frequently leads you into the arms of Mr Wrong, and that could be why you keep having disastrous relationships. It sounds like you need to work on your self-esteem so you can get to a place where you know you’re own worth and can no longer be taken in by creeps who don’t have your best interests at heart. There’s more to you than the guy you’re with, but you need to love yourself without the endorsement of a man. Counselling can help, as can basic stuff like social life, work and even volunteering. The less emotionally needy you are, the more likely you are to find the right person. Right now, you’re going through a kind of grieving process because you’ve lost someone you loved. Not because they died – but because they never existed in the first place. Those interests you shared were just him playing the part of the person you wanted him to be. It’s only been a 10-month relationship and eventually you’ll move on. It’s true what they say, time is a great healer. Just feel sorry for his poor wife and children, and think on this as a lucky escape. Laura is a counsellor and columnist. Got a sex and dating dilemma? To get expert advice, send your problem to Laura.Collins@metro.co.uk. Do you have a story to share? Deals of the Day The Orlando holiday deal Disney fans shouldn't miss We're adding this discounted NEOM gift set straight to basket Want an LED face mask for less? This Black Friday deal could save you hundreds This teeth whitening sale could save you up to 64% before Black Friday These Simba Black Friday deals are too good for tired shoppers to ignore Get in touch by emailing MetroLifestyleTeam@Metro.co.uk Sign up here to Metro’s newsletters for your regular dose of need-to-know lifestyle news and features, as well as news updates and your weekly guide to what’s on in London. Arrow MORE: I went on a blind date in front of 200 strangers Arrow MORE: I asked my boyfriend to get sexy with food — he pulled out a hotdog Arrow MORE: I leave my husband to have submissive and masochistic sex with another man The Hook Up Metro's hottest newsletter, with juicy stories and tips for spicing things up in the bedroom. 18+