I seduced my sexy stepdad – my frumpy mum doesn’t deserve him & I’m going to do it again

DEAR DEIDRE: ABOVE mum’s fireplace there’s a photo of her, my stepdad and me laughing into the camera. What mum doesn’t realise is I have my hand inside my stepdad’s shirt in that photo. Two hours after it was taken, we very nearly had sex. I’m 27. Mum is 48 and she met this boyfriend three years ago. The moment she introduced us, I was smitten. He’s 46 and in great shape from lifting weights. No disrespect to Mum, but she let herself go after they met. She used to be in the gym every night, but now she’s always curled around him on the sofa having a “cheeky glass” or some “picky bits”. I’d sometimes feel his eyes lingering on me – mainly during the summer when I was chilling in shorts and a vest. But I never took it seriously, until my best friend attended my family BBQ and said my stepdad had been checking me out all day. WhatsApp and Contact Dear Deidre WhatsApp, DM, or email our experienced counsellors for a free, comprehensive response. It had been a boozy afternoon. Mum was slumped, drunk, in a garden chair. I picked up a bottle of wine and topped up my stepdad’s glass. I deliberately leaned forward so he would get a direct line of sight inside my dress, from my bare boobs right down to my thong. Then I pretended to lose my balance and I fell onto his lap. Even though he lifted me off almost immediately, looking embarrassed, it was too late — I’d felt how turned on he was. Mum woke up and suggested we take a family photo together. I pressed myself against my stepdad, running my hand up inside his shirt, squeezing his muscles. He didn’t move away. Afterwards Mum was all over the place so we both helped her up to her bed where she finally crashed out. Once we closed the door he was all over me. We went downstairs, ripped each other’s clothes off in the lounge. It was insane and I thought we were on track to have sex but all of a sudden he pulled away stating it was wrong. Next he was pulling on his shoes and heading out the door ‘to cool off’. Afterwards, he told me he’d made a huge mistake and begged me not to tell anyone. But I can’t forget how good he felt. I’ve invited myself along on their holiday in a couple of weeks. I’m buying the tiniest bikinis, in contrast to my mum’s ugly kaftans, and I’ll flaunt my body until he can’t resist. DEIDRE SAYS: If you thought this was a good idea, you wouldn’t have written. You’re playing with fire. It isn’t against the law to have sex with a parent’s partner, unless they are also related to you, or they were living in your household and you were under 18 when the sexual relationship happened. Legally, this man is not acting in a parental capacity, but I’m still left wondering why would you encourage him to cheat on your mum? You’ll need a relationship with her long after your crush on her boyfriend has faded. Perhaps your relationship has soured with her? You certainly seem full of disdain for her. Nevertheless, it would be a bad idea to take her love for granted – she might never be able to forgive you if she found out. If you think your mum is drinking too much or has stopped caring about her appearance, act with love for her, not lust for her partner. I have a support pack, Drinking Problem? that has a lot of help and advice. If she used to love living a healthy lifestyle, encourage her to get back into the gym. And go along with her, so you’re not sidling up to her boyfriend when she’s out of the house. Even though you instigated this situation, your mum’s boyfriend should have completely resisted your advances. And if that’s not possible he ought to break off his relationship with your mum. It would be cruel to carry on a liaison behind her back. You have a powerful libido so don’t swear off sex completely. But find a single man to enjoy it with. And help your mum to thrive, instead of trying to steal her happiness. It’s important that you work out why you are searching for validation from someone who is not only unavailable, but someone who could destroy your family. My support pack How Counselling Can Help explains where you can get the insight from. Dear Deidre’s Incest Issues Deidre’s mailbag is bursting with complex family relationship issues and dilemmas involving incest. One reader struggled to navigate her feelings for her long-lost cousin for example, while another found himself aroused after seeing sexy videos of his half-sister. Meanwhile, one man discovered his brother’s sexual fling with their half-sister. INCEST IN THE UK: WHAT THE LAW SAYS In the UK, under the Sexual Offences Act 2003, the law draws a strict line around sexual relationships within close families. Illegal relationships (even if both are adults): It’s a criminal offence for a man to have sex with his mother, daughter, sister or grandmother and for a woman to have sex with her father, son, brother or grandfather. This also includes half-siblings as well as full siblings. What about cousins? In the UK, sex and consensual relationships between cousins are currently legal, and they are also legally allowed to marry. Step-families and “position of trust” Sex with a step-child or foster child under 18 is illegal if the adult is in a position of trust (e.g. acting as a parent or guardian). Even over the age of 18, there can be legal scrutiny if the relationship began while that position of trust existed. Under 18s Any sexual activity with a close family member under 18 is treated as a serious criminal offence and often prosecuted under child abuse laws.