I Noticed My Son Stopped Wearing Underwear. It’s His Brother’s Fault.

Care and Feeding Photo illustration by Slate. Photo by DragonImages/iStock/Getty Images Plus. Care and Feeding is Slate’s parenting advice column. Have a question for Care and Feeding? Submit it here. Dear Care and Feeding, My husband and I have two boys, “Aaron,” 8, and “Archer,” 12. Just under two weeks ago, I began to notice that Aaron’s underwear wasn’t showing up in the dirty clothes to be washed. When I asked him about it, he said that he’s stopped wearing underwear so that his brother won’t be able to give him wedgies anymore. I don’t know what to do here. For the past couple of months, one of Archer’s favorite things to do has been to sneak up behind his brother and give him a wedgie. Aaron hates it and I’ve taken away screentime from Archer, but he still will do it when I’m not around (my husband thinks it’s hilarious and said he used to do it to his own brother until he grew out of it). While I don’t think my younger son should be forced to give up wearing underwear, on the other hand it has shut the issue down. Is this a true resolution? —Wedgie Woes Dear Wedgie Woes, No, I don’t think that your 8-year-old son deciding to forgo wearing underwear in order to keep his brother from violating his personal space in a particularly embarrassing and painful way is a “true resolution.” Sorry! You’re going to have to parent harder here. Start with your husband, who is the real problem in this situation. He can keep his fond memories of the wedgies of his childhood, but tell him that in your house, with your child, they are not permitted. This is not a negotiation. You need to present a united front for both kids, so you need to talk about this an get on the same page. Then you can gather the kids and share the new family rule: No touching your brother or any article of his clothing without permission, and that includes wedgies. Good luck. —Logan More Parenting Advice From Slate I have a 14-year-old son, “Toby.” Toby’s always been a jokester, and I don’t mean in the telling jokes sort of way: He’s frequently a class clown and someone who has to say or do outrageous things in any group to get attention. It was tolerable; despite his antics, his grades are good, and he usually knows how to toe the line and avoid serious trouble. Well, until yesterday. Never miss new Slate Advice columns Get the latest from Prudie and our columnists in your inbox each weekday, plus special bonus letters on Saturdays. Advice Family Kids