I left London for the suburbs — within a month I was begging to go back

We swapped London life for life in a commuter town (Picture: Courtney Pochin) I don’t know about you, but lately my TikTok feed has been flooded with videos of people moving out of London. They’re swapping the capital for countryside living or the coast, and they make it look incredibly appealing. And clearly the appeal is rubbing off, as London’s population has fallen. According to new figures from the Office for National Statistics (ONS), more than 400,000 people left the capital in a year, with the population down 0.3 per cent in 2025. But is leaving London really all it’s cracked up to be? I tried it and ended up coming straight back. I’d always wanted to live in a big city like London (Picture: Getty Images/Westend61) Ask Metro Use AI to go deeper into the stories you care about – powered by Metro and trusted publications. Ready to start your homebuying journey? You can access completely fee-free mortgage advice with London & Country (L&C) Mortgages, a partner of Metro. Customers benefit from: – Award winning service from the UK’s leading mortgage broker – Expert advisors on hand 7 days a week – Access to 1000s of mortgage deals from across the market Unlike many mortgage brokers, L&C won’t charge you a fee for their advice. Find out how much you could borrow online Mortgage service provided by London & Country Mortgages (L&C), which is authorised and regulated by the Financial Conduct Authority (registered number: 143002). The FCA does not regulate most Buy to Let mortgages. Your home or property may be repossessed if you do not keep up repayments on your mortgage. When I first moved to London in 2018, I was a walking cliché — a 24-year-old from a small town no one had heard of, with dreams of living in the big city. I’d grown up in a small town in Norfolk, and always longed to be somewhere bigger and brighter, with a bit more going on. New York was where I truly wanted to go, but moving there is pretty complicated, so the Big Smoke would have to do. Family and friends were sceptical. They didn’t think I was cut out for the harsh reality of life in London. ‘You’ll be back here in six months,’ a colleague declared at my leaving drinks. ‘You’re too nice to live somewhere like that.’ Flash forward to 2023, and I’d certainly proved him wrong. I LOVED living in London. I couldn’t get enough of the hustle and bustle, the endless array of things to do and see — and don’t even get me started on the food! It was everything I’d hoped it would be and more. Sure, there were some downsides; the insane rent prices for one, the mice, and the unbearable heat in summertime. But for the most part, I was in my element. Then my husband received a cancer diagnosis, and everything changed. Your favourite person getting cancer really throws everything into perspective. None of what I thought mattered really did anymore. Thankfully, surgery went well, and he didn’t have to undergo further treatment. We were really lucky, as it could have been a lot worse, but it took a lot out of him nonetheless. London was a big part of our love story, but was it the right place for us? (Picture: Char Cook Photography) Suddenly the city was an emotionally and physically exhausting place for him. He wanted a change of pace, and although I was apprehensive, I wanted to give him whatever he needed. In hindsight, I shouldn’t have been so quick to dismiss my own feelings… This is how we found ourselves in Tunbridge Wells in Kent, looking around a two-bedroom cottage in the town’s suburbs. The kitchen alone was bigger than most of our London flat, and it had a garden and parking, all for the same price we were paying in the city. We could see lush green fields out of the spare bedroom window, and nearby Dunorlan Park seemed like the perfect place to walk the puppy we would inevitably have to get if we moved here. And on paper the town itself was a great fit for us — it had plenty of green spaces, an array of independent stores and coffee shops, plus The Pantiles were picture perfect. It ticked loads of boxes. So we signed on the dotted line, and in January 2024 we packed everything into a van and waved goodbye to the home we’d made in Kennington. On paper, Tunbridge Wells seemed like a good fit for us (Picture: Getty Images) At first it was kind of fun. We started going to the local pub on a Friday night, we took leisurely walks into town to enjoy brunch on the weekends, and we got to explore Kent and the surrounding counties — visiting places like Pooh Corner in Hartfield, and Rye and Camber Sands (East Sussex). We actually spoke to our neighbours, who waved when they saw us and probably would have been more than happy to lend a cup of sugar. But just a month after moving in, I was begging our landlord to let us leave. Turns out there is something I’m not cut out for — commuting. I never thought I’d miss being squished into another person’s armpit on the Northern Line, but suddenly I was feeling incredibly nostalgic for it. Frequent train delays and cancellations meant I was getting up at 5am each day to make it to work on time, and sometimes not getting home until 11pm. I’d get in, eat something, and then go straight to bed, only to do it all again the next day. It didn’t feel like I was really living; I was just existing. People told me that commuting was the sacrifice you made during the week to enjoy spending weekends in the place you love. But the problem was, I didn’t actually love Tunbridge Wells, and I wasn’t convinced it would grow on me either. Every time I heard someone say the words ‘commuter town’, I instantly got the ick. I’d liked the idea of what life would be like there, but that’s not the same thing as actually wanting to live there. I was still the girl who dreamed of living in New York; I was never going to be happy settling for suburbia. I liked the idea of life there much more than the reality (Picture: Getty Images/iStockphoto) And I wasn’t the only one struggling — my husband also had regrets. He’s someone who is content being outside in nature, or sitting on the sofa with a good book, so this new lifestyle should have suited him perfectly.However, he too found himself missing our life there and becoming bored in Tunbridge Wells. He’d underestimated just how much he got out of being in London. From booking last-minute theatre tickets after work, to killing time by nipping into the National Gallery — being impulsive is tricky when you have to get the last train home. And there just wasn’t enough to do in town to keep us entertained. In London you’re constantly spoiled for choice; there’s always something new going on, or a part of the city to discover, but you can pretty much see all that Tunbridge Wells has to offer in one day. All of the shops closing by 5pm is also a major buzzkill when you don’t get home until 7pm at the earliest. The house itself also wasn’t right. We missed the cosiness of our tiny flat and quickly realised all those things we’d convinced ourselves we needed — more space, a garden, an upstairs — we were actually perfectly fine without. The saving grace of the situation was that we hadn’t bought the house, and decided to rent instead. Even better, we’d asked for a six-month break clause to be included in our contract just in case we regretted our choice. The next few months dragged on, and I was miserable for most of that time. Home had always been my sanctuary, but this wasn’t somewhere I wanted to spend my time. I found myself working later and later each evening, not wanting to go back to Tunbridge Wells, and I outright refused to turn 30 there (I booked a stay at Art’otel Battersea for the night; it was marvellous). There’s so much more going on in the city – from concerts to theatre, art exhibits and incredible food. I’m so glad to be back (Picture: Courtney Pochin) Safe to say we got out of dodge as soon as we could and moved back to London. We thought long and hard about which part of the city to live in, and this time the location was a compromise. Instead of being right in the thick of it, we’re a little further out now in Zone 3. We get the best of both worlds – the feel of small-town life without actually living in a small town. We’re back to apartment living, and so far so good. I do still have to commute to work, but I get up at a much more reasonable hour and only have to hop on the District Line. It’s a breeze. Now, all of this isn’t to say that Tunbridge Wells is awful and anyone who lives there is crazy. It’s a lovely place. It just wasn’t right for us. Even though I hated being there, I’m glad we tried it, because at least we won’t have to wonder ‘what if?’ We appreciate living in London so much more now, because we know what it’s like to live somewhere else. Deals of the Day Wuka launches the UK’s first period-proof swimwear for heavy flows Bridgerton fans are rushing to buy these new Netflix-inspired perfumes now £12 off The affordable summer wardrobe update you'll wear from rooftop drinks to beach holidays The £7.99 lip balm beauty fans love for glossy, hydrated lips just dropped four new shades This Keskine hydrogel mask could fix your summer skin A version of this article was first published on November 22, 2024. Do you have a story you’d like to share? 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