I leave my husband to have submissive and masochistic sex with another man

Ariel Anderssen is happy in her open marriage (Picture: Myles Goode/Getty Images) Welcome to How I Do It, the series in which we give you a seven-day sneak peek into the sex life of a stranger. This week we hear from Ariel Anderssen, 49, a BDSM performer in an open marriage, who lives in Wales. She enjoys sex three times a week on average, with both her husband and occasionally her dominant, where sex is ‘submissive and masochistic’. Ariel and her husband had initially planned to be monogamous, but after nine years of marriage both agreed additional partners could help them explore their sexual interests more fully. ‘It was a frightening decision, but it’s worked very well for us, because we fully trust each other,’ she tells Metro. ‘It’s made us love each other more, because now we know that even sex with other people won’t stop us from being committed to each other emotionally.’ Ariel now finds herself more satisfied than ever, calling sex ‘one of the best things in [her] life,’ and adding: ‘I have a partner I find endlessly attractive and the confidence to express my desires. I want it to stay this way forever.’ So without further ado, here’s how she got on this week… The following sex diary is, as you might imagine, not safe for work. Sunday Sign up to The Hook-Up, Metro's sex and dating newsletter Love reading juicy stories like this? Need some tips for how to spice things up in the bedroom? Sign up to The Hook-Up and we'll slide into your inbox every week with all the latest sex and dating stories from Metro. We can't wait for you to join us! Sunday is a working day, and I have three custom videos to shoot. Ask Metro Use AI to go deeper into the stories you care about – powered by Metro and trusted publications. First, I have to pretend there’s a monster dragging me under the bed for 10 minutes. I scream and struggle and kick my boots and socks off before being entirely consumed. It’s more difficult than it looks. Next, a customer wants me to walk around with crutches. I’m not entirely sure how to make it sexy, but I try my best to do realistic limping while talking about an imaginary hot orthopaedic surgeon. Finally, I have to lick my own leather boots while instructing my client to masturbate. Once filming is done, I have lunch and then edit all my footage until 4pm. In the evening, I take my husband out for dinner at our local Indian restaurant, since tomorrow I’m visiting my dominant for a few days from tomorrow. When either of us are about to go away to see our other partners, we try to make sure we spend some proper time together beforehand. This ensures neither of us feels taken for granted. Monday On the train travelling up north to St Andrews, I work on a Substack article to distract myself from my excitement. Once I arrive, I check into my AirBnB. My dominant and I take it in turns to book accommodation for our monthly meet-ups and this was my turn. I’ve come the night before my him, to give me time to look perfect for the next day. Since we don’t see each other often, I like to make sure I’ve got clean hair, new nails, clothes he hasn’t seen before, and expensive lingerie. I feel immensely lucky to have him. Like me, he’s happily married but has interests his partner doesn’t share. We’ve known each other for more than a decade, and were friends well before we began to explore BDSM together. I never sleep well before seeing him because I get too nervous. He sends me a text, telling me that tomorrow, he’ll want to know everything I’ve done wrong since I last saw him, so that he can punish me. Tuesday I wake up, leap into the shower, dress in a silk slip and white thong, and apply makeup in a rush. Once he gets here, we kiss for 15 minutes before we even have a proper conversation. It feels like being a teenager again. He starts telling me how he’s planning to cane me, and positions a chair in the bedroom for me to bend over, but we both get so excited that he f***s me instead, from behind, so we can see ourselves in the mirror. I love watching his face, and the muscles in his arms and shoulders. He has me change into lingerie he’s bought for me, and I give him a blowjob which I love. It feels like the most submissive thing to do, so I’m not keen on receiving oral sex, whereas giving it feels a bit like worship. He comes in my mouth three times within the space of about 20 minutes. Not seeing a sexual partner very often makes the sex absolutely majestic when you’re together. He leaves for his meeting and I shoot the rest of my custom videos. I’m someone’s stepmom, someone’s hot wife, then a dominatrix with a strap-on. On days where I’m being submissive in my private life, I prefer to play dominants onscreen because it provides a bit of separation between work and real life. I get dressed in lingerie and I love it that my dominant appreciates these outfits. After dinner, he gives me 14 strokes of the cane, and although I had moisturised to stop my skin splitting, I’m still left with red welts. Afterwards, he has sex with me from behind — enjoying seeing the marks he’s made on me. He whips my back while he’s still inside me. We’ve never done that before, and I love it. Later, we’re drifting off, when he caresses my bottom, and I feel him getting hard. We spoon and have sex. I can’t touch him much, but it makes me feel extra submissive. Wednesday First thing, he pulls me over his knee while we’re still in bed, and spanks me. I can feel him getting hard. He gives me an orgasm with his fingers while I’m over his knee. I phone my husband, as I always do when I’m away, to make sure he’s okay and knows I love him. Once my dominant and I finish work, we go to bed. He writes his initials on my shoulder, like a tattoo, and then we have sex for a couple of hours. I ride him, which thought I wouldn’t like, but he plays with my nipples and takes control of the pace, so it feels more submissive than expected. After dinner we spend another long time just kissing, before he canes meand we have missionary sex. I’m beginning to feel sore but we only have one more full day and I’m not inclined to be cautious. By 9pm we’re both too tired for any more sex, so I give him a massage. I like to rebalance things by nurturing him, rather than him always giving. Thursday Today we decide to film our sex for a movie only we will ever watch. We have sex with him behind me while he whips my back, to recreate one of my favourite things from Tuesday. We review the footage together. It’s wonderful to see him from an angle I don’t normally when we’re having sex, and I like watching myself reacting to him. We walk on the beach, and sit on a bench while he tells how he’s going to punish me. A large part of the enjoyment comes from the anticipation. Back at the flat, my dom inspects my clothing options, and choosing lingerie turns into missionary sex on the spare bed. I wrap my legs around his torso, and come so hard I’m quite embarrassed because I make that much noise the dog next door starts howling. He picks out white lingerie with pink stockings, then tells me to get dressed and then come to the main bedroom. There, we do a ritualistic punishment scene where he specifies the positions he wants me in, and what I have to say after each stroke of the cane or whip. It goes on for a long time, alternating between cane strokes and sex until I’m so high on endorphins and adrenaline that it stops hurting and I just want more. He kisses the marks he’s made on my body, and I find the contrast of this gentleness so thrilling I almost want to have sex again. But, I want to lie with entwined with him even more. Once we’ve recovered, we talk about what we enjoyed during this visit, and make plans for next time. We want to try roleplaying as different people, which we’ve not done much of. I kiss him goodbye and start packing my clothes for my journey home. Friday I know what my dom and I do together is sexual, but it provides me with a spiritual feeling too — my mind is quiet now, my body feels at peace with itself, and I’m grateful to have a valuable connection with another person. As I take the train home, I write notes of everything we did so I’ll remember properly. I’m happy to be going back to my husband. I won’t tell him the physical details of what I’ve been doing (we don’t like to invade our play partners’ privacy), but we always have a list of things we’re looking forward to talking about. I think of marriage as one long conversation, which if you do things right, never ends. I’ve missed him, because I always miss him. I’ll miss my dominant too, but my body needs time to heal, and if we saw each other more, we wouldn’t be able to sustain the same intensity because I’d constantly be a bruised mess. Saturday My husband and I walk to a local pub for lunch, and we’re right in the middle of a happy conversation about our garden when we get a phone call — a member of my husband’s family is seriously ill. We go straight home, pack bags and start the long drive to the hospital. I book a hotel room for us, and we go to bed late, tired from the time on the ward. The last few, carefree days suddenly feel a long time ago, but I’m glad I spent time this week doing something so precious to me, because I don’t know how long I have left on this planet. Do you have a story you’d like to share? Get in touch by emailing MetroLifestyleTeam@metro.co.uk Deals of the Day The Orlando holiday deal Disney fans shouldn't miss We're adding this discounted NEOM gift set straight to basket Want an LED face mask for less? 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