I got pregnant weeks after deciding to never have children - I hated being a parent and felt 'imprisoned'. Here's what other new mothers who are struggling need to know

Gabs was 35 years old when she found out that she was pregnant with her first-born child. The news came while she was living and working in India as a yoga teacher, shortly after she had decided that she didn't want to start a family. Thirteen years later, the now 48-year-old wellbeing coach from Oxford has revealed that while she loves her daughter, she hated becoming a parent. While working in India, before she realised that she was pregnant, Gabs said: 'I was away in India looking at the sky thinking I'm so glad I have the freedom to travel. It had been a month and I'd done yoga teaching out there.'However, despite having previously decided that she didn't want to have children and raise a family, Gabs decided to embrace her pregnancy.She said: 'I thought, "OK I've got friends who have been trying to make this happen and it's landed in my lap so let's embrace the opportunity. Pregnancy is fine".'And, while accidental, Gabs recalled enjoying her experience of pregnancy. She said: 'Everyone says hello, smiles at you and offers you seats - it's a lovely experience. It's like being a little minor celebrity with everyone looking and talking and asking how you're feeling.'But despite having enjoyed pregnancy, Gabs is clear that it's the birth and after-birth that she was most unprepared for.Gabs Brown now posts relationship and parenting content to a following of over 35,000 people on InstagramShe said: 'When you have no children and you're pregnant you don't know about the train that is coming for you.'Having a painful birth only made Gabs's early experience of motherhood more difficult. She had planned on having a water birth, but a prolonged and difficult labour meant that her daughter was delivered by forceps. It's an experience she describes as leaving her 'physically traumatised' and it's a trauma that Gabs believes isn't discussed enough.'You go through the equivalent of a car crash and come outside with the responsibility for this tiny little being.'After giving birth to her daughter, Gabs believes she began to struggle with postnatal depression.She said: 'I loved my daughter but hated pretty much everything else about the situation. I felt like I'd just completely lost my life.'I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep, I couldn't just cook dinner and eat it. I was constantly attached and had to tend to this little baby.'I knew I wasn't going to get any sleep and felt imprisoned in my own routine looking after a newborn. But I also felt absolutely terrified she might die so it was all of those strong emotions.'Giving birth during the winter only made those first few months even more difficult for Gabs. Gabs is now the mother of two children but said she hated becoming a parentShe said: 'It was quite an animalistic thing of "I'll feel better when it's spring and summer". I was right. It was a slow process but over the year things did get easier.'And still, despite a difficult childbirth and the struggles she had postnatal, Gabs said that giving birth to her second child some four years later was a 'completely different' experience. Gabs said: 'Everything was easier. With a first child you have to get used to the practical elements but also get used to your identity changing.'By the time my second child arrived I'd already done that work and was already in the vibe.'Thirteen years on from her first pregnancy, Gabs has taken to social media to share her experience of childbirth and motherhood. She now works as a wellbeing coach and has amassed over 35,000 followers on Instagram, sharing parenting and relationship advice. It's her mission to remind other new mothers that giving birth and becoming a mother can be difficult, and that there's nothing wrong with them for experiencing that. Since posting about her experience, she has found a community of other mothers who relate to what she went through.She said: 'They were relieved both to see that they're not alone, there's nothing wrong with them and also to hear it gets better.''It's relieving to hear from someone a long way down the road and know that changes and I absolutely love being a parent,' Gabs added.Gabs explained: 'When you're a new mother there's a pressure to be this glowing mother and icon and just taking to it. It's brutal, difficult and you're lucky if you find it easy.''I don't think it's something people talk about very much, being a parent. You expect there's a button you press and you're in a present, lovely life and you've grown a thing you love. The reality for so many is such a different experience emotionally, practically and physically.'