I found out my boyfriend was cheating, so I tracked down the other woman and asked for a threesome… it’s changed my life

OUR Ultimate Sex Survey reveals almost 40 per cent of people become more experimental over the summer months. Elizabeth Halton, 42, director of the doctoral school at University College London, says she’ll be indulging in group sex… Elizabeth Halton, 42, reveals she invited her boyfriend’s mistress into their bedroom when she found out he was cheating Credit: Sonja Horsman . Elizabeth says monogamy is hard as there’s a lack of communication and losing the sexual spark Credit: Sonja Horsman WHEN I found out my boyfriend was cheating on me, rather than feeling heartbroken, I invited his mistress into our bedroom. Little did I know that decision would become the turning point that changed everything. I had always wanted to explore my bisexuality, but struggled to find the opportunities. So when in 2012 I discovered my boyfriend of three-and-a-half years was sleeping with someone else, I decided I wanted to sleep with her too. I asked to meet with the other woman and see if she’d be willing to have a threesome with us both and she was up for it. And I loved it. It was about taking control and facing reality. My boyfriend and I stayed together, but eventually that relationship fizzled out. I’d known I was bisexual since my teens, and I knew I liked watching partners with other people, so after my threesome experience, I started Googling unconventional relationships in London. This was before apps, when dating sites like Guardian Soulmates and OkCupid were more common. I eventually met a prolific dater who knew lots of women interested in non-monogamy, many of them bisexual or curious about threesomes. It was then I started having lots of group sex. At the time, ethical non-monogamy hadn’t exploded; it was still very fringe. Then I ended up in an 11-year relationship with someone from work who was also interested in non-monogamy. We had a semi-open relationship, though it was harder for him than for me. As a woman seeking men, it’s easier to find people open to non-monogamy or group sex. At one point we closed things, and I stopped having sex with other men, but stayed open to threesomes, mostly with other women, though we did have one foursome with another man and woman. That relationship ended two years ago, and now I’m friends with three couples, who are also in open relationships. Sometimes I have sex with just one of them, one-on-one; sometimes both, sometimes we’re just friends. We go for drinks, dinner, even birthday hotel trips. When you’re open, especially bisexual, the line between friendship and relationship is greyer. Elizabeth says When you’re open, especially bisexual, the line between friendship and relationship is greyer Credit: Sonja Horsman . For me, group sex is like bespoke porn, she adds Credit: nd3000 Boundaries move, so communication matters. People say non-monogamy is too complicated, but monogamy is hard too – there’s numbness, lack of communication and losing the sexual spark. For me, group sex is like bespoke porn. I don’t watch porn because I have real people I fancy doing things that I want to watch. It’s also made me more creative; you learn so much about bodies. You can see what ‘moves’ other people have and then try it out yourself, and you learn so much about how bodies and preferences can differ. There’s a joke that group sex is better in odd numbers. In a four, it can become swapsies. But when it works, and you don’t know whose hand or mouth is where, it’s amazing. Non-monogamy doesn’t mean I’m not serious and committed – I would love to have a lifelong primary partner and for us to be able to share our love with others. Many of us in the community think deeply about dating, feelings and inclusion – hopefully acceptance of it keeps growing. SEXY SUMMER SECRETS BRITS are ready to turn up the heat this summer as a sizzling new wave of bedroom adventure sweeps across the nation. The explosive findings are part of our ultimate Summer Sex Survey, which reveals exactly what gets the country going when the mercury rises. Sunshine is proving to be the ultimate aphrodisiac, with over a third of randy punters confessing that a heatwave gets them feeling way more romantic than usual. From cheeky outdoor romps to tearing up the relationship rulebook, the British public is ditching the old traditions to hunt down hot summer flings and experimental new positions. Here, we delve deep into the sizzling results of our most revealing poll yet. The Sun’s poll of 2,000 adults reveals the nation’s wildest summer bedroom secrets The Bedroom Clock How often are you actually getting it on? 30% Several times a week 23% About once a week 21% A few times a month 10% Less than once a month 7% Exactly once a month 5% Every. Single. Day. 4% Not telling What’s your prime time for bedroom action? 32% Late at night 24% Cheeky evening romp 19% Whenever, go with the flow 13% Love a bit of morning glory 6% Save it up for wild weekends 5% Appreciate afternoon delight 1% Only when on holiday Hitting the spot How regularly do you actually hit the big O? 34% Often 33% Every time 21% Only sometimes 6% It’s a rare treat 4% Not telling 2% Never get there How easy do you find it to talk dirty and tell your partner what you like? 42% Fairly comfortable 39% Very comfortable 13% Not very comfortable 4% Not at all comfortable 2% Too shy to say The heatwave effect When we asked if the heatwave made you fancy an outdoor romp, most people said it made no difference to their sex life, the remainder were split 55% Less likely, it’s too hot to get sweaty 35% Could be tempted or are well up for it 10% Can’t say/won’t say Does a bit of sun get you feeling extra affectionate? 63% Yes, feel more amorous 22% Sticky heat is a real turnoff 9% God yes, strip and go 6% Just aren’t sure What is it about the summer that gets your motor running? (Multiple-choice option) 70% The sunny weather puts them in a much better mood 69% Blame it entirely on the warmer weather 47% Because we are away on holiday or travelling, so more relaxed 35% Love having more free time on their hands 25% Down to more socialising and summer boozing 2% Have other secret summer triggers 1% Say none of this applies to them Holiday wild child When you jet off on holiday, does your inner wild child come out? 32% Bedroom behaviour stays the same 31% Let their hair down 29% Become spontaneous holiday romantics 5% Are way more cautious when abroad 3% Just stay at home Which of these juicy summer perks do you look forward to most? (Multiple choice option) 44% More quality time with partner 35% Exciting new experiences 28% Being way more physically affectionate 21% The thrill of meeting new people Screen time Ever watched adult films? 66% Confess to having watched a bit of blue content 29% Claim they have never even peeked 5% Wouldn’t sahare their browser history If you do watch porn solo, how often? 55% As an infrequent treat 24% Watch every week 13% Have a monthly date 5% Hardcore daily users 3% None of our business Got any toys hidden in the bedside drawer? 57% Say their bedroom is strictly au naturel 40% Have a buzzing collection of gadgets 3% Keep the drawer locked Have you ever sent a cheeky, flashing nude to someone? 66% Swear they have never sent an intimate pic 31% Have proudly hit send on a dirty selfie 3% Hiding behind the lens Bedroom Gymnastics What’s your go-to position when it comes to sex (Multiple choice options) 54% Classic missionary 48% Wild doggy style 32% Cowgirl position with her on top 18% Flip it around for a reverse cowgirl 9% Have other gymnastic favourites 6% None of the above float their boat 13% Too shy to tick a box Are you a creature of habit or a wild experimentalist? 43% Occasionally try new positions 39% Just stick to what they know well 12% Wild thrill-seekers who regularly mix up positions 6% Prefer not to say how they play it Spicy parties & three-ways Have you ever ticked any of these cheeky events off your bucket list? (Multiple choice option) 74% Total angels who have never been to any of them 12% Hit up a proper singles or dating party 10% Mingled at an organised singles mixer 8% High-pressure environment of speed dating 8% Put themselves out there at a matchmaking event 6% Stripped off at a proper sex party 4% Let it all hang out at a sex festival 3% Checked into an exclusive sex retreat 2% Keeping their scandalous event history secret Have you ever welcomed a threesome? 79% Stick to the two’s company rule 18% Tthrouple experience or casual group session 3% Tight-lipped on headcounts Have you ever tried an open relationship with a bit on the side? 90% Strictly one partner only 8% Have had open relationships 2% Prefer not to tell us if they share If you are “open” does the ‘free pass’ rule only apply on holiday? 63% Yes, at home we’re a closed couple 36% Open-love policy is 24/7 1% Wouldn’t spill the holiday gossip