I Donated $50 to an Old Acquaintance’s GoFundMe. Then I Got an Outrageous Text.

Pay Dirt Photo illustration by Slate. Photos by Feverpitched/Getty Images Plus and John Moore/Getty Images. Pay Dirt is Slate’s money advice column. Have a question? Send it to Kristin and Ilyce here. (It’s anonymous!) Dear Pay Dirt, An old acquaintance I’ve known for over 20 years, but rarely hear from, recently asked for help raising $60,000 through GoFundMe to save his home from foreclosure. I donated $50, but then he texted me asking if I could be more generous. That made me uncomfortable, and I ultimately blocked him. Was I out of line, or was this a reasonable boundary? —Blocked and Ghosted Dear Blocked, Maybe you didn’t need to hit the block button so quickly—you could have let him know $50 was what you could afford, or you could have simply ignored the request—but I can see why you’d be tempted. There’s a difference between asking for help and demanding someone’s generosity. Getting a “more money, please” instead of a “thank you” feels more like the latter. But to be fair, foreclosure is a stressful and painful experience. When a person is dealing with that kind of stress and pain, politeness and gratitude might not be a priority. He probably sees $50 as a drop in the bucket to resolve this massive problem. But for you, this was an act of kindness because you wanted to help. Despite the circumstances, when someone guilts you into “being more generous,” it doesn’t feel great if that’s all you can afford. Blocking him was abrupt but understandable. But chances are, he has bigger things to worry about. Please keep questions short (<150 words), and don’t submit the same question to multiple columns. We are unable to edit or remove questions after publication. Use pseudonyms to maintain anonymity. Your submission may be used in other Slate advice columns and may be edited for publication. Dear Pay Dirt, My grandma is very wealthy. She had a health scare last year, and though she is doing great now and will hopefully still go another decade or more, she is divesting herself of assets. She wants to give me a whole house! It’s paid off and probably would sell for about $700,000. It’s also nearby and in good shape, with a current tenant of 10 years who takes great care of the house and yard. I’m a low-paid public servant who loves her job. It is, however, very stressful, and I’ve cut back to half time with odd jobs for the sake of my mental health. My take home is about $3,500 a month, which actually works out OK, although it’s tight and I can’t save much (I have about $15,000 in my emergency fund and $5,000 on credit cards). I bought my own house in 2015 with a mortgage under 3 percent. I still owe $180,000, but the house has doubled in value since I bought it. I have a lon- time roommate/tenant with whom I get along great. Obviously Grandma’s house will be a total game changer for me. But what’s the best way to manage it? I don’t mind being a landlord in the short term, but I would rather not do it forever—maybe 3-5 years tops? But I also don’t have any experience investing in anything except my own house. I feel like the stock market is probably headed for a correction with all this AI overheating. And I want to be smart about any tax implications here. Grandma just wants to have the house off her own books, and for me to have an easier life (I am wildly grateful—we have always been especially close, but I never dreamed this would happen). She said she’d also be willing to sell the house and give me the money if that made more sense. So, what makes the most sense? Which kind of experts do I need to talk to? Do I need to live in Grandma’s house for some period of time? I like my own house much better. Ideally I’ll use this one-time luck to supplement my monthly income (I yearn to travel, and also maybe someday expand my freelancing) and also build my retirement. —Grateful to Grandma Dear Grateful, You’ll definitely want to talk to professionals. Specifically, look into a Certified Public Accountant (CPA) and an estate attorney. They’ll talk to you about the “cost basis” of the house. This basically means that if your grandmother gifts you the house now, in most cases, you would inherit something called an adjusted cost basis. In simple terms, this means you might owe capital gains taxes if you sell the house. On the other hand, if you inherit the house after she passes, you could potentially avoid that tax with something called a “stepped up basis.” It basically means the house’s value gets reset to its current market value at the time of her passing, so if you were to sell it after inheriting it, you’d owe little to no capital gains tax, regardless of how much the house actually increased in value during her lifetime. But this is where a professional comes in, because they’ll be up to date on the tax rules, which can sometimes change and depend on where you live. California, for example, has very specific rules for living arrangements in these kinds of situations. Let’s look at the other scenario—she sells the house herself and gifts you the cash. In that case, she’d be responsible for the capital gains taxes on the sale of the house. There might be some exclusions here to help her reduce that cost, but again, that’s where a tax professional will come in handy. With this route, you get the cash, and generally a cash gift is not considered taxable income in the U.S. For example, a $700,000 gift would generally mean she needs to file a gift tax return, and that doesn’t mean she’d owe gift tax, just that the $700,000 would be deducted from her lifetime gift and estate tax exemption. But because that lifetime limit is very high (over $13 million), most people can give away millions of dollars without ever actually paying a gift tax. This is all very complicated, I know, but the gist of it is, if she sells the house on her own, she’ll have to pay capital gains tax, but this keeps you from having to pay those taxes and then she can gift you the cash without you having to worry about paying taxes on that, either. Considering the fact that you want to build your retirement and aren’t terribly interested in being a landlord, this route might make the most sense. You could knock out your credit card debt, beef up your emergency fund and retirement savings, then travel the world. But your CPA will run all these numbers and consider the tax implications to help you decide which route you and your grandmother want to take. The estate attorney can help with this, too, and also make sure the transfer is handled smoothly. While you’re at it, you might as well look into a fee-only Certified Financial Planner who can help you come up with a plan to budget this huge windfall. You’re in a great position, and it sounds like your grandmother wants to make sure this is as efficient and beneficial for you as possible. Generous, indeed! —Kristin More Money Advice From Slate My wealthy uncle, whose two sons produced no grandchildren, “adopted” my children as his own grandchildren. As such, he promised to pay for their college educations—completely. He put some of the money into their bank accounts and assured me that he had instructed his younger son to dole out the rest of the promised money when the time came. As far as I know, the only written record of this promise was an email I had sent to him, expressing my gratitude. Never miss new Slate Advice columns Get the latest from Prudie and our columnists in your inbox each weekday, plus special bonus letters on Saturdays. Advice Personal Finance Real Estate