I developed a hidden health problem at 13 that's affecting ever more girls. It left me exhausted, ashamed and struggling with intimacy... we must talk about it before more suffer like me

Night after night, while her family slept, Arleny Abreu Quintero would sit glued to her computer.The hours would slip by unnoticed towards dawn as she obsessively pored over a seemingly endless torrent of images on the screen.By morning, the teenager would drag herself into school exhausted, struggling to concentrate on what her teachers were saying.But it wasn't simply tiredness that troubled her. The reason was a secret she was deeply ashamed of.Arleny was struggling with something more commonly associated with young men - compulsive online pornography use.What had begun as curiosity after she first stumbled across explicit material at just 13 had, within a few years, become an obsession that dominated her life.At her worst, she would spend hours - sometimes virtually entire days - watching adult content, then stay up through the night consuming more.Recalling those early years, Arleny, now 19 and from New York, says: 'It changed the way I viewed reality. Arleny Abreu Quintero(right) has opened up about her secret porn addiction as a teenager that made her sexualise her own family, school teachers and classmates Ms Quintero said the ordeal was 'disturbing and uncomfortable' and made her feel 'so much shame''My mindset became unusually sexual, and I'd have disturbing thoughts about people in my life that I did not want to have those thoughts about.'I felt so much shame about it.'But it was during the Covid pandemic that her problem began to spiral.When lockdown restrictions left her stuck at home in the spring of 2020, with little to occupy her and cut off from friends, the hours she spent watching pornography rapidly increased.'I suddenly had all the time in the world, so I started watching it every day,' she says.'It was a way for me to feel some type of connection when I felt isolated.'By the time her school reopened that September, Arleny realised how much her habit had begun to consume her life.She was constantly exhausted and struggled to focus in lessons as increasingly extreme sexual thoughts crowded her mind. Ms Quintero first witnessed explicit content at the age of 13 after being shown it by a friend The now 19-year-old raises awareness about porn addiction on her social media channels'I felt so guilty about it, I knew it wasn't normal,' she says.Yet she was too ashamed to tell anyone what was happening and increasingly felt 'disgusted' by her behaviour.Eventually, at 16, she decided she had to try to stop.'I'd had enough of it, and I knew I needed to change something,' she says.Soon afterwards, Arleny began a relationship - but intimacy proved difficult.She says years of consuming pornography had left her desensitised to real-life sex, and she struggled to enjoy the closeness of a genuine sexual relationship in the same way.Experts say compulsive pornography use can have a profound impact on wellbeing and relationships - although simply watching pornography does not mean someone has an addiction.Doctors generally use the term compulsive sexual behaviour disorder, or CSBD, to describe sexual urges or behaviours that become difficult to control and begin interfering with everyday life.Pornography can form part of the condition, alongside compulsive masturbation or other sexual behaviours.Warning signs can include spending increasing amounts of time consuming sexual material, repeatedly trying and failing to cut back and continuing despite damage to relationships, school, work or health.Some sufferers report finding sexual activity less satisfying, while attempts to cut back can leave them restless, tense or irritable.There can also be consequences for physical health. Spending hours watching pornography late into the night, as Arleny did, can lead to chronic sleep deprivation, leaving sufferers exhausted and struggling to concentrate.Compulsive sexual behaviour is also associated with higher rates of anxiety and depression.However, researchers caution that it can be difficult to establish cause and effect. People experiencing depression, loneliness or anxiety may themselves be more likely to turn to pornography as a means of escape.For Arleny, attempts to stop coincided with the beginning of her first relationship.Gradually, she says, she was able to reduce her pornography use until she was barely watching it at all.As she did, intimacy became less stressful and more enjoyable.Arleny says: 'I'm in a great relationship now, and it's allowed us to have a much deeper connection.'Arleny was among a generation of young women for whom online pornography has become increasingly commonplace - and, for some, difficult to control.Research tracking almost 1,800 teenagers from before the pandemic into the Covid lockdowns found problematic pornography use increased among girls, although researchers cautioned that the rise was small.And while men remain significantly more likely to watch explicit material, research suggests its use among women is far from unusual.One nationally representative US study, conducted shortly before the pandemic, found around one in five women watched pornography at least once a month.Experts stress that, for the overwhelming majority, viewing pornography does not amount to a disorder.The warning sign is not necessarily how often someone watches it, but whether they repeatedly feel unable to control the behaviour and it begins interfering with relationships, work, school or their health.The Mayo Clinic recommends seeking medical help if sexual urges or behaviours feel out of control, particularly if repeated attempts to cut back have failed or they are harming other areas of life.Treatment usually involves talking therapy. Cognitive behavioural therapy, or CBT, can help people identify situations and emotions that trigger the behaviour and develop strategies to manage their urges.Experts also recommend practical steps to make pornography harder to access - such as installing website-blocking software - and identifying periods of boredom, stress or loneliness that may act as triggers.Underlying mental health problems, including anxiety and depression, may also need to be treated.In some cases doctors may prescribe medication alongside therapy, although there is no drug specifically approved to treat compulsive pornography use.Experts advise seeking professional help if repeated attempts to stop have failed, consumption is becoming more frequent or extreme, or it is interfering with school, work, sleep or relationships.