I Could Get My Friend the Perfect Job. But My Relationship With My Boyfriend Might Not Survive It.

Good Job Photo illustration by Slate. Photo by Roman/Adobe Stock and Drobot Dean/Adobe Stock. Good Job is Slate’s advice column on work. Have a workplace problem big or small? Send it to Laura Helmuth and Doree Shafrir here. (It’s anonymous!) Dear Good Job, I have had a crush on “Greg” since I met him 10 years ago. We have many mutual friends and see each other around town a lot. We’ve had some moments together, but consummated nothing. There’s just a fizz there, you know? We were talking over the weekend at a party and he mentioned he’s looking for work. I didn’t tell this to him, but we’re hiring for a role at my work that he’d be perfect for. I could get him in pretty easily (my boss trusts me). Ever since the party, I’m buzzing just thinking that I could spend so much time with Greg if we worked together. But something is giving me pause. I have a boyfriend whom I love. I don’t want to fuck things up with him, but I’m pretty sure I will if I’m around Greg all the time. I can’t decide if it’s worse to tell Greg about the job or to not tell him about it to protect my relationship. He’d be really good at the job, by the way, and I know my boss would love him. —To Greg or Not to Greg Dear To Greg or Not to Greg, I am a mere workplace advice columnist, not a relationship columnist, but I would be extremely remiss if I did not point out that having a crush on someone for 10 years and trying to get them a job where you work so you can be around them more is not the behavior of someone who is happy in their relationship. I know you say you love your boyfriend and that you “don’t want to fuck things up with him,” but what you are considering here will one HUNDRED percent fuck things up with him. I don’t know how much more clearly I can say this: DO NOT GREG, but also, think hard about whether you really want to be in this relationship. I’m not saying that you should be in a relationship with Greg, either, but I do think it’s just something to pay attention to when your brain is telling you to figure out a way for your crush (of TEN YEARS!) to work with you while fully acknowledging that you will definitely fuck up your relationship if Greg is around. My non-workplace-advice columnist advice is to break up with your boyfriend, be single for awhile, and if you still feel like you have this festering crush on Greg, ask him to hang out and see how it goes. Do not try to make this happen by getting him a job. This will only end badly for everyone involved, but most of all, you. It’s sort of reminding me of Taylor Swift’s very short and ill-fated relationship with Matty Healy, the “bad boy” she’d had a crush on for a long time. She orchestrated them working together, then dating, and it blew up in everyone’s face! Learn from Taylor’s mistakes, and keep Greg away from your job at all costs! —Doree Classic Prudie A man I work with and with whom I’ve had an affair the last two months died suddenly over the weekend. I am pregnant with his child. He didn’t know. His current wife, now widow, doesn’t either. How do I broach this subject? His estate is rather large. Never miss new Slate Advice columns Get the latest from Prudie and our columnists in your inbox each weekday, plus special bonus letters on Saturdays. Advice Workplace Jobs