I confronted my rapist in court – I know how Russell Brand’s victims feel

I can only imagine how difficult it must have been for those women to see him smirking on talk shows (Picture: AP Photo/Alberto Pezzali) As the verdicts from the Russell Brand trial were announced yesterday – guilty on one count of rape and three counts of sexual assault – my thoughts weren’t on the man at the centre of one of the most high-profile rape trials in recent British history, but on some remarkable women. Women, who despite knowing the dismal conviction rates and the courtroom horror stories, decided to come forward and tell the police what happened to them. They chose to stand up in court and relive it all over again. These women had perhaps lived quite ordinary lives, and were now performing extraordinary acts of bravery. All I can think about is protecting them and any more women who come forward. Because I know something of the courage it takes to stand up in court and testify. And I know how court systems fail women, to this day. I know something of the courage it takes to stand up in court and testify (Picture: Katherine Anne Rose) Four years ago, I was sitting in a witness room at Glasgow High Court desperately trying to steady my breathing. Every knock at the door made me jump and my heart raced uncontrollably. After hours of waiting, I was led down a narrow corridor towards the courtroom. I felt as though I was being taken to the gallows. I was ushered into a seat behind a screen, and about a metre away sat my rapist. To view this video please enable JavaScript, and consider upgrading to a web browser that supports HTML5 video He was almost within touching distance – I felt sick. As the prosecution questioned me, I cringed, my cheeks burning as I recounted the most intimate and humiliating details of what had happened to me. Their questions were factual and focused – until it was the defence’s turn. Suddenly the tone shifted. I was asked what I usually wore to bed – if I slept in a bra and pants, or perhaps naked. I was asked about other men – men who were casual acquaintances, and it was suggested that my relationships with them were improper somehow. To view this video please enable JavaScript, and consider upgrading to a web browser that supports HTML5 video The world ‘slut’ was never used, but I felt it was heavily implied. I was told my rapist was just in love with me, and that really, I was the villain. I was even accused of having mental disorders I don’t have. Every question was a grenade, every comment an attempt to disparage my character. Yet, none of it seemed relevant to the matters at hand. My rapist was ultimately convicted, and I went on to win a disciplinary complaint against his defence lawyer, who was fined for ‘crossing the line’ in his questioning. But my experience in court haunts me to this day. It felt I’d been subjected to the trauma of being raped, and then the trauma of the justice system. One woman in a separate case filed in America said when she came forward that she wanted to remain anonymous (Picture: Elizabeth Cook/Press Association) Every woman who comes forward about sexual violence and engages with the justice process is taking on an enormous personal burden. They may lose years of their lives to uncertainty and anxiety, have the most private aspects of their lives scrutinised, and be made to feel like they are the ones on trial. They know that speaking out could cost them their privacy, their relationships, and perhaps even their safety. And despite enduring all this pain, justice is far from guaranteed. Rape Crisis England & Wales highlighted in a 2023 report, that adult rape survivors wait an average of 417 days just for a case to be completed in the Crown Court after an offender is charged – a delay that frequently leads to secondary trauma and victims deciding not to testify. Yet women continue to come forward anyway. Russell Brand: Trial verdicts at a glance Found guilty of four offences: One count of rape. Three counts of sexual assault. Raped a 21-year-old fan after meeting her at a 2009 stand-up show at the Hammersmith Apollo. Sexually assaulted a Channel 4 worker in 2009 after she was forced to give him a massage. Kissed and groped a Capital Radio worker in a corridor in 2005. Groped an MTV worker at a Soho bar in 2004. Found not guilty of three charges: Two counts of rape. One count of attempted indecent assault. The jury cleared him of raping an MTV worker in a toilet in 2004. He was also cleared of raping a woman he met at a cabaret show during the 1999 Labour Party conference in Bournemouth. He was found not guilty of attempting to drag an MTV worker into a toilet to indecently assault her in 2001. Sentencing: The sentencing hearing is scheduled for Monday, November 9th Brand’s barrister applied for the comedian to spend time with his family before being taken into custody, but the judge ruled that Brand would remain behind bars until Monday. The trial: The trial took place at Southwark Crown Court and lasted nearly four weeks. The jury deliberated for eight and a half hours before reaching its verdicts. Brand showed no emotion as the verdicts were delivered. For the women who told their stories in the Russell Brand case, those challenges were compounded by the fact that the man who’d harmed them was not just any man, but a household name with wealth, influence and a devoted following. I can only imagine how difficult it must have been for those women to see him smirking on talk shows, posting videos to his millions of followers, and claiming to feel the ‘presence of God’ in the courtroom. Harder still, perhaps, to see vicious misogyny directed at them online – with commentators already attempting to portray Brand’s crimes as consensual. In fact, one woman in a separate case filed in America said when she came forward that she wanted to remain anonymous for fear of harassment from his followers should her identity be revealed. There is trauma to process and lives to rebuild (Picture: James Manning/Press Association ) That hostility makes it all the more important to recognise the courage of every woman who came forward, regardless of the outcome of the individual charges. And while today’s verdicts represent a momentous victory, the ordeal does not necessarily end here. There is still sentencing, the possibility of appeals and, eventually, parole proceedings. There is trauma to process and lives to rebuild. And despite the outpouring of public support, there are still those who respond to women coming forward about sexual violence with cruelty and mockery. Yet today offers something profoundly important: hope. Hope that even the most powerful men can be held accountable, that women who have been silenced can be heard, and that justice, however difficult the journey, is possible. For women who have never felt able to come forward themselves, the courage of these women may offer something equally precious: the knowledge that they are not alone. Today, those women are my heroes. Do you have a story you’d like to share? Get in touch by emailing Ross.Mccafferty@metro.co.uk. Share your views in the comments below. 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