I bumped into escort I’ve been visiting for sex at the school gates while with my girlfriend – I started to sweat & fled

DEAR DEIDRE: MY girlfriend and I were excited to take our daughter to her secondary school induction evening. But as I was playing the family man, I came face to face with the escort I’d had sex with the day before. Now I’m terrified my double life is about to be exposed. I’m a 33 year old man. My girlfriend and I have been together since we were both 18. Our daughter is 11. After our daughter was born, my girlfriend began avoiding sex. Gradually we stopped having it altogether. After years of hearing her excuses, I finally booked an escort out of desperation. I’ve never cheated emotionally, I just needed a physical release. My first escort experience wasn’t great. She was an older woman who seemed in a rush. But I realised how much I’d missed sex, so I kept trying different escorts. Live Chat and Contact Dear Deidre Live Chat with one of our trained counsellors Monday to Thursday from 1pm to 4pm. In Live Chat Hours:On your desktop or mobile, a ‘live chat with us’ button will appear below. Click it, and the chat box will appear and you will be connected with one of Deidre’s team. If you’re on the The Sun app, click here. If you would like to contact any of the counsellors outside of these hours, you can contact us:Via email: deardeidre@the-sun.co.ukOr send a confidential form here.DM us on Instagram: @Dear DeidreDM us on Facebook: @DearDeidreOfficial Last year, I found the woman of my dreams: a tall, natural blonde in her mid-20s. She lived in a different town so discretion was guaranteed. I began visiting her during the day. She let me visit her at home, and after having sex in her bed, we’d lie there and chat, laughing and talking comfortably. She has a son the same age as my daughter, so we had lots in common. I told her I was single so she wouldn’t judge me for cheating on my partner. My girlfriend didn’t suspect a thing so I felt like I’d found the perfect solution to my frustration: fun, no-strings sex with my escort, and a loving relationship with my girlfriend. I should’ve known it was too good to last. There aren’t any decent secondary schools in my town, so my girlfriend applied for places in the next town over. Where my escort lives. I never made the connection until last night. My girlfriend, my daughter and I arrived for the induction evening slightly late, so we had to squeeze into a row of seats in the crammed school hall. I noticed a familiar head of blonde hair in the row of seats in front of me, and my heart started pounding. When they turned their head to one side, I immediately recognised my escort. She was there with her son. While the headteacher gave a speech, I was just inches away from the woman who’d pleasured every inch of my body the week before. I started to sweat, and my girlfriend gave me a funny look. I said I felt ill, and ran outside, waiting in the car until my family joined me. As I drove out of the carpark, my escort walked past and we made eye contact. School starts in a couple of weeks and my girlfriend and I often do the school run. How will I be able to act naturally if my escort is also waiting at the gates? Will she blow my cover? DEIDRE SAYS: Escorts are very discreet — it’s an important part of their job. She has no reason to expose your secret, and it would probably impact her business if she did. More importantly, it time to look at your habit of lying to your girlfriend. She and your daughter deserve better. Consider this a wake up call and make a decision to either work on your relationship or leave your girlfriend so she can form a relationship with someone honest. It’s time to be honest about how much you are missing the intimacy within your relationship. Explain this is not just about sex, this is about feeling close and connected to one another. Booking an escort is the easy way out. Talk to your girlfriend about what she needs in order to want intimacy. By communicating honestly, you have a chance of rebuilding your relationship and enjoying sex with your girlfriend again. My support pack If She Doesn’t Want Sex has lots of useful advice, including actions you can take as a couple. It also gives details of sex therapists who offer further support. The escort isn’t the one who might blow your cover — that’s in your hands. If you want the appearance of being a loving family man, you must act the part too. Or admit that you’re not happy, and leave your relationship. Dear Deidre’s Secret Services From discreet arrangements to concealed services, clandestine activities regularly appear in Deidre’s inbox. One man admitted booking an escort for kisses and cuddles to cope with loneliness, but struggled with guilt and the fear of being discovered. Another reader feared her relationship would collapse if her her boyfriend discovered she had been secretly working as an escort. And a third man revealed his horror at learning his wife had been secretly selling sexual services to a man for years. ESCORTS: WHAT’S THE LAW? An escort is someone who is paid to accompany another person with services ranging from providing company to offering sexual acts. Being an escort is not, in itself, illegal in the UK, but the law around prostitution and paying for sex can be complicated. IS IT LEGAL TO BE AN ESCORT?In England and Wales, exchanging money or other goods for sex between consenting adults is not illegal. However, a number of activities surrounding prostitution are criminal offences. WHAT ABOUT PAYING FOR SEX?It is illegal to pay for sexual services from someone who has been subjected to force, threats, coercion or deception, even if the client does not know this has happened. It is also an offence to solicit someone in a street or public place for the purpose of obtaining sexual services. CAN ESCORTS WORK TOGETHER?This is where the law gets particularly complicated. Two or more people providing sexual services from the same premises can potentially make the property a brothel, and keeping or managing a brothel is a legal offence.