How becoming ‘addicted to appreciation’ can keep you from becoming a grumpy adult

On February 1, 2018, Timm Chiusano was having a “comically bad” day. It was one of those career days when he just couldn’t do anything right. After work, he rode the subway home—late for dinner again—dreading the next day. “All I could think was, ‘I hate all of this,’” he said. “I don’t know how much longer I could do any of it.” Then a manhole cover caught his eye, and he found himself with “the wandering mind of a 5-year-old.” The curious thoughts rolled in: “Oh cool, a manhole cover! Interesting that they made them circles instead of squares for safety. There’s so much cool and weird New York City stuff down there. But aren’t most of them made in India? That’s so fascinating. Wonder what those shipping costs are like?” Snapping back to reality, he momentarily wondered if something was wrong with him. Then he realized that his ability to look at something mundane and fully appreciate it like a kid would was actually a “superpower.” The art of appreciation When we’re young, the world is full of things that are new to us, so it’s natural to find them fascinating. We often call it wonder. But what Chiusano tapped into was what he refers to as appreciation—recognizing something good in the world and wanting to learn more about it. Some might mistake appreciation for gratitude, but Chiusano explains they are not the same thing. “Appreciation is foundational,” he said in his TED Talk. “Gratitude is transactional. To show gratitude, you are actually receiving something. Appreciation is something that you can layer into everything you are doing and just your existence on a daily basis.” In one sense, it’s similar to optimism because you look for and see the good in the world. But appreciation isn’t just looking for silver linings. It’s a way of looking at the world, as Chiusano says, “like a goofy-ass kid so you don’t become a grumpy-ass adult.” The real anti-aging regimen is retaining your childlike wonder and whimsy.— GINA NÄUMAN • جینا نعمان (@entertheunseen) October 19, 2025 The science of appreciation Rutgers University psychologist Nancy Fagley hadn’t given the topic of appreciation much thought until one of her graduate students, Mitchel Adler, kept bringing it up. Now the two have years of research under their belt. They have determined that appreciation is both a disposition and something people can learn. It has two main characteristics: 1) acknowledging the value and meaning in something, and 2) feeling a positive emotional connection to it. Fagley and Adler also identified eight places where appreciation shows up: A “have” focus (centering thoughts on what one has) Awe Response to ritual Delight in the present moment Self/social comparison Gratitude Loss/adversity Interpersonal feelings A common way to practice appreciation is simply “counting your blessings.” But instead of thinking of it as something to do, appreciation can be a lens through which you see the world. “That kind of world view, where you focus on positive events and notice the positive aspects of our lives, counteracts the tendency to take things for granted,” Fagely shares. And that kind of perspective really does help people live happier and healthier. “I wanted to investigate whether appreciation (on its own) had value, and it did,” she says. “It made a pretty significant contribution to predicting well-being.” What does appreciation on a daily basis look like? As someone with a naturally appreciative disposition, I often find myself appreciating even the most basic things in life. As Chiusano says, not everything in life can be appreciated—there are a lot of terrible things in the world. But that doesn’t mean we can’t or shouldn’t appreciate what is good. For example, each night when I settle into bed, I think about how happy I am to have a warm, safe bed to sleep in. Even with the day’s worries swimming through my head, that appreciation of my bed, blankets, and pillow cuts through the noise. I appreciate my family and friends, of course, but also my cats. They’re so soft and beautiful and entertaining. The fact that I can keep food cold in my refrigerator? Amazing. Running water? Magnificent. Toilet paper? Incredible. Don’t even get me started on sunrises and sunsets. I used to think I was just predisposed to gratitude, but Chiusano has helped me realize that I’m actually predisposed to appreciation. I genuinely appreciate the good things in life, from the biggest to the tiniest things. Flower growing in a crack. Photo credit: Annie Reneau Right now, there’s a violet growing in a crack in my front walk, and every time I pass it, I find myself brimming with appreciation. Resilient little crack violet, sitting there, blooming and pretty in the most unlikely of places. What a gem. There’s so much to appreciate in our daily lives. Sometimes we just need something like being mesmerized by a manhole cover to remind us. You can follow Timm Chiusano on Instagram and look for his book, How to Get Addicted to Appreciation: The Transformative Power of Noticing and Valuing the Good in Your World, out Nov. 10, 2026,