Host a family meeting and skip new stuff: back-to-school tips that actually work

The school shoes are polished and backpacks bought, so all that is left to do is actually go back to school. It is a tricky time of year for parents and children alike – but if you’re worrying about how to make the transition from the flexible summer holidays to a rigid school timetable, there are ways to make it easier. “Preparing a child for a new school year is not about removing nervousness,” says education researcher Dr Özgür Bolat. “It is about helping children discover that they can cope with the challenges. Good preparation gives children concrete coping strategies and helps them enter school feeling sufficiently safe and capable to learn, connect and engage.” Our experts share everything you should know about helping children prepare – and the three common mistakes to avoid. Shorts Let little ones do things for themselves “Readiness doesn’t happen in big leaps – it’s tucked into the small, ordinary bits of everyday life. It is in helping to set the table, or figuring out which shoe goes on which foot. These skills might not appear on a formal curriculum, but one of the most practical things parents can do to help their children navigate the school day is to step back and give their child opportunities to do things for themselves, even when it takes a little longer or doesn’t go perfectly. These small opportunities to problem-solve help build the independence and confidence they will need at school.” Michelle Demirtas, head of early childhood education at Bright Horizons Make the new familiar “New school term often means new uniform, new school shoes, and new stationery. But children do best when they have familiar items they like and feel comfortable with. So, over the next few days, encourage children to spend some time breaking in their new shoes, trying on their uniform, and using their new lunch box, stationery or water bottle.” Dr Martha Deiros Collado is a psychologist specialising in family support, who has teamed up with the Department for Education to create the Back-to-School Reset Guide Introduce a screen sunset “Getting into a good sleep routine can take time, but it’s never too late to help your child wind down and make bedtime a little easier. A good place to start is with screen time. Screens before bed can make it harder for children to wind down and push bedtimes later. It’s not just the light from screens that can affect sleep, but the stimulating content itself and the staying up later to play on devices. But parents must set a good example, so introduce a daily ‘Screen Sunset’, where the whole family puts their screens away together.” Lisa Artis, sleep expert and deputy CEO of Simba’s charity partner, The Sleep Charity Plan the journey “For older children starting secondary school or moving to a new school, it’s well worthplanning and practising the journey ahead of the new term. Encourage them to complete the route independently during a typical morning rush hour so they can get a realistic idea of travel times and where to get on and off.” Gitanjali Bhattacharya, director for Lumina Tutoring and head of access and partnerships at Harrow School Switch off the screens in the evening (Photo: Imgorthand/Getty) Get back in the habit of a good breakfast “Holiday mornings can be a bit all over the place, so breakfast is often one of the first routines to disappear. Rather than sugary cereals, getting them used to eating something that keeps them full for longer and their blood sugar stabilised throughout the day can be a really easy way to start bringing some structure back.” Natalie Louise Burrows, head of nutrition at Tonic Health Hold weekly family meetings “For families with older children and teenagers, it can be helpful to hold a short Sunday evening ‘stand-up’ meeting to review the week ahead and identify any pinch points. It should only take around 10 to 15 minutes to go through everyone’s schedules and having to think and speak about their week ahead can help with teenagers’ confidence and build their independence to reduce stress for the whole family. They could also consider adding their school timetable and clubs or activities to a digital calendar and saving a screenshot as their phone background for the first couple of weeks.” Gitanjali Bhattacharya Boost immunity “Once children are back in classrooms and mixing with lots of other children again, coughs and colds are pretty inevitable. You can’t stop them being exposed to bugs, but you can make sure they’re eating a varied diet, getting enough sleep, and following good hand hygiene. It is also worth checking you’re following NHS vitamin D advice: children aged one to four should have a daily 10mcg supplement all year round, while everyone aged 5+ should consider one during autumn and winter.” Natalie Louise Burrows Trust your instincts “You know your child best. It can be easy to feel the pressure of what other families are doing to prepare for the return to school, but only you know what will work for your child – particularly if you are parenting children with special educational needs, which can look very different. Moving away from what others are doing and reflecting on what works for you is key.” Kate Williams, teacher, SEND coordinator, neurodiversity coach and FindTutors tutor You know your child best (Photo: People Images/Getty) The three common mistakes to avoid Treating the first week like a normal school week “One of the biggest mistakes parents make is restarting every club, playdate and after-school activity from day one. After a long break, children are suddenly concentrating, following rules and navigating friendships all day again, which can be exhausting. If possible, keep the first week lighter and give them time to adjust.” Ilona Andrews, sleep consultant and founder of Sleeping Stars Dismissing their worries “Parents might feel tempted to tell children there is nothing to worry about when it comes to school. Instead, take time to find out about specific concerns, as it is often something very specific, such as using the toilet or making friends. Once you understand the worry, practise it together. Role-playing how to ask a teacher for help or how to join a game can make an unfamiliar situation feel much more manageable.” Michelle Demirtas Taking over “Parents often confuse support with taking over. When children are anxious, parents often organise more, remind them more, and solve problems before they happen. But repeatedly doing things a child could gradually learn to manage can unintentionally communicate: ‘You are not capable enough to handle this, so I need to do it for you.’ Parents should remain available, but support should gradually increase the child’s competence rather than replace it.” Dr Özgür Bolat