Here’s More Evidence That Max Miller the Worst Human Being in Congress, Maybe Anywhere

4 min read“Evil is unspectacular and always human,And shares our bed and eats at our own table.”—from "Herman Melville” by W.H. AudenGood Lord, this man is such a colossal dick that he blots out the sun.Over at The American Prospect, reporter Maureen Tkacik went spelunking down through the steaming, noxious cave that is Rep. Max Miller's life. After recently emerging from medical quarantine—okay, I made that part up—Tkacik has shared what she learned about this dog's breakfast of an alleged human being. And, boy howdy, does she ever deliver the ... ah ... goods.The piece begins with an extended account of a road rage incident that occurred between Miller and a local physician named Feras Hamden. Hamden saw a truck pulled to the side of the road that looked like the one belonging to a friend. It turned out to belong to Miller. When the congressman turned to face Hamdan, the doctor whipped up a picture of the Palestinian flag on his cell phone. (This was at the beginning of the hostilities in Iran.) Hamdan made a video and shared it with some friends.“This is the congressman, that piece of shit faggot congressman that’s against Filastin,” the physician narrated, using the Arabic word for Palestine, as he drove past a blurry-looking white guy. “That’s craaazy. This racist, Jewish … he can’t even look at me!” Even granting that the doctor red-flagged the bull, what came next was insane.Indeed, at 9:20 a.m. and 42 seconds, the congressman had been connected with a 911 dispatcher:“My name is Congressman Max Miller, I’m on the freeway and I have somebody who has cut me off, who is flipping me off, who is showing me a Palestinian flag and is yelling [and] threatening to kill me … and making gestures at me …” he said. “I am on 90 traveling past Wooster overpass … and I’m a little shaken now considering I have death threats. And I mean, he’s a pro-Palestinian guy now … this is insane … how do I know I’m safe later today with my daughter?”Suddenly, his tale was drowned out by blaring horns and unspecified noise. “Here, here, listen to him, listen to him, listen to him!” the congressman yelled at the dispatcher, who can be heard advising her supervisor that indeed, the young congressman was being audibly harassed. Sounding genuinely shaken, Miller continued: “He said he wanted to kill me and my daughter, verbatim …” The dispatcher asked for his precise location, then apologized that she would need to transfer him to the neighboring municipality. Miller had started to lose patience. “Can you just track this guy down now?” To the other dispatcher, he said, “I was cut off by a man in a Tesla … [who] then rolled down his window and said that I’m going to cut your throat and your daughter’s. And he said you’re a dirty Jew. I’m going to fucking kill you all. And I know who you are and where you live. And I followed him, and he rolled down his window, and I rolled down my window, so I could hear what he was saying …” Over the course of the chaotic five-minute 911 call, Miller had, Hamdan claims in court filings, concocted no fewer than ten lies about this silent interaction. The doctor had neither cut him off nor flipped him off. Hamdan had neither threatened to kill, nor cut the throat of, Miller or his daughter. Nor had he called anyone a “dirty Jew” or said anything about knowing where Miller lived. This was all abundantly obvious to anyone with a shred of common sense because the two men had been driving at highway speeds throughout the entirety of the interaction, so even if Hamdan had rolled down his window, Miller wouldn’t have been able to hear a damn thing he was saying, something Hamdan’s attorneys would ultimately retain an aerospace engineer to prove with the help of three state-of-the-art sound-level meters. Perhaps cognizant of the little hole in this story, the congressman then stopped his car in the middle of traffic by an exit ramp, inspiring random passengers to blare their horns at him, which Miller then successfully used to verify to the dispatcher the physician’s “road rage.”Completely insane.[Miller's] biggest patron in impunity is, of course, the Pardon King himself, Donald Trump, who acquired Miller in a package deal in 2016 when he poached Marco Rubio’s deputy finance director Eli Miller, who had recommended his cousin for a job driving the Florida senator around Chicago the previous year. But Trump quickly came to see Miller almost as a surrogate son, in large part due to his innate talent for knowing just what nostalgic show tune at what precise moment—“Memory” from Cats, for example—would succeed at talking Trump off the ledge of an incipient meltdown. In those days, senior White House staffers would summon Trump’s “Music Man” when the president became grouchy, “so [Miller] could check on the order of the songs.” I won't spoil the rest of the story. Go read it yourself and bask in the relief that comes when you realize your daughter didn't marry Max Miller. And it's no wonder the White House is standing firmly behind this goon in his re-election campaign. If Mad Max loses, the president would have to program his own music.