Help! I broke my boyfriend’s penis and left him writhing in pain – now I’m worried we’re over

DEAR DEIDRE: IS it possible to break your boyfriend’s equipment? Our last raunchy session ended with him writhing around in pain and now he refuses to see me. Have I ruined him and our relationship? We’re both 20 and met at college last year. He’s my first proper boyfriend and I love him like crazy. He’s the only man I’ve ever slept with, although he’s had a girlfriend before. Our sex life is exciting and fun. I especially love surprising him with wild new ideas and positions to keep things spicy. Last week, we were messing about in his bedroom at home (he still lives with his Mum) and started making love in the girl-on-top position. To give him more of a thrill, I tried a new position I’d heard about called Reverse Cowgirl: I moved myself around so I was facing his feet. Live Chat and Contact Dear Deidre Live Chat with one of our trained counsellors Monday to Thursday from 1pm to 4pm. In Live Chat Hours:On your desktop or mobile, a ‘live chat with us’ button will appear below. Click it, and the chat box will appear and you will be connected with one of Deidre’s team. If you’re on the The Sun app, click here. If you would like to contact any of the counsellors outside of these hours, you can contact us:Via email: deardeidre@the-sun.co.ukOr send a confidential form here.DM us on Instagram: @Dear DeidreDM us on Facebook: @DearDeidreOfficial He loved it. He said the view of my bum was driving him mad and it felt deeper than usual. Because of this, he started moving very fast, and grabbed my hips. I wasn’t sure of the right way for me to move — should I be sliding up and down, or front it back? — and so maybe I moved in the wrong direction. All I know is that, suddenly, he fell out of me and I accidentally sat down heavily, right on top of him. There was a sharp popping sound. He screamed and pushed me off, then ran into the bathroom. I could hear him whimpering. He wouldn’t let me in and eventually came out with a towel around him and then sent me home. Since then, I’ve left him voice notes and messages but he hasn’t replied to many of them. All he has said is that it’s still really tender down there, and he’s worried it looks different. But he wouldn’t send me a photo or let me pop over to see him. I even rang his house and apologised to his Mum, which was so embarrassing. She’s usually nice, but she wasn’t at all friendly on the phone. . I feel really guilty. What did I do wrong? How can I mend things? DEIDRE SAYS: Your boyfriend needs to seek medical advice – urgently. The accident you described, especially the “popping” sound, suggests he might have experienced what’s called a “penile fracture”. The penis doesn’t contain any bones. But it can still be fractured if it is forcefully bent or hit when it’s erect. The most common signs of a penile fracture are a cracking/popping noise, an immediate loss of erection and severe pain. There might also be bruising and blood in the urine. It can also cause a misshapen penis. If your boyfriend sees his GP, he could be referred to see a urologist for specialist help. Most treated penile fractures don’t cause long-term problems, but untreated they can lead to erectile dysfunction or even infertility. This wasn’t your fault, and your boyfriend knows that. He is probably in a lot of pain and worried about his penis which means he may not have capacity to reassure you. However, you have shown love and concern by reaching out to him. Let him know you understand he’ll be worried and encourage him to see his doctor soon to get effective treatment. Explain that early treatment is key to a full recovery. Say you don’t want to crowd him and will give him time to get help and focus on his recovery, but assure him you want to support him. Send him the link to the British Association of Urological Surgeons (www.baus.org.uk) which has more helpful information. Then ultimately it’s up to him to decide when he’s ready to initiate contact again. This was an accident. A loving partner would make sure you know that they don’t blame you for what happened. Dear Deidre’s Position Problems From repetitive routines to sexual frustration, position problems frequently appear in Deidre’s inbox. One man confessed that his long-term relationship had become stale, with sex always falling into the same position. Another reader admitted that despite loving his girlfriend, their sexual encounters were monotonous, with no variety or experimentation with positions, causing tension in their relationship. And a third man shared that attempts to introduce new positions were met with resistance, leaving him frustrated and unsure how to revive passion in the bedroom. PENILE FRACTURES: THE FACTS Despite the name, there's no bone to break. A penile fracture is a tear in the tough outer lining of the erectile tissue, almost always occurring when the penis is erect. It is considered a medical emergency and usually requires immediate surgery. WHAT CAUSES IT? The injury usually happens when an erect penis bends suddenly after slipping out during sex and striking a partner’s pelvis or pubic bone. Other causes include: Vigorous sexual intercourse Forceful masturbation Rolling onto an erect penis during sleep Deliberately bending an erection. WHICH SEX POSITIONS CARRY THE HIGHEST RISK? Research is mixed, but studies suggest the highest number of injuries occur during positions where the penetrating partner controls the thrusting, including: Doggy style Missionary (man on top) Cowgirl (woman on top) SYMPTOMS A loud ‘pop’ or ‘crack’ Immediate loss of erection Severe pain Rapid swelling and bruising A bent or misshapen penis Sometimes blood at the tip of the penis or difficulty passing urine if the urethra is also injured. HOW IS IT TREATED? Most men need emergency surgery to repair the tear. Prompt treatment gives the best chance of avoiding long-term problems such as penile curvature or erectile dysfunction.