Funerals are the only aspect of Catholic life I engage with any more

I was Down Home last week for a removal and a funeral. Funerals are the only aspect of Catholic life I engage with any more, so my visits to the church are sporadic and usually coloured with heightened emotion. I go to pay my respects and support the family and will honour whatever ways the deceased and their loved ones choose to mark the end of their life. On this occasion, the Mass was set for a weekday morning, with prayers at the funeral home the preceding evening. We were expecting a priest to lead the evening prayers, so were surprised when two women – lay people – took on the task. Afterwards in the pub (naturally) there was much chat about the role the women had played at the removal, not least because the decade of the rosary had tipped along at a great pace and we all agreed they had done a lovely job. This, coupled with news from my mother about the loss of the local priest from my own small childhood parish, led to one logical conversation topic: They’re going to have to start letting women be priests and allowing priests to get married and, ideally, give up the vow of celibacy. Listen, I’m in no hurry to restore the Catholic Church to its former glory in numbers, but I can appreciate the solace that religion brings. Every time I’m in a church and listening to the prayers and sermons with adult ears (as opposed to the indoctrinated ignorance of a child), I’m struck by the reality that religion is a response to fear; a way to make sense of our fleeting time on Earth and to temper the terror of what lies beyond death or, worst of all, that nothing lies there at all. If believing in heaven and eternal life assuages that fear, then who am I to deny that? READ MOREAt the same time, the level at which the church in Ireland has been such a poor steward of its influence and power and the harm it has caused leaves me largely unmoved by its demise in community presence. I’ve always assumed that the church’s refusal to allow the ordination of women was based in misogyny, and it would be difficult to convince me that this isn’t the case. The official line, simplified, is that while women are and always have been hugely important in the church, Jesus decided not to call any women to be apostles and therefore the church does not have the authority to ordain women. In December 2025 the Vatican reaffirmed that even the possibility of women as deacons – a deacon can do everything a priest does except celebrate the Eucharist and hear confessions – remained firmly off the table, something former president Mary McAleese said was indicative of “an institution on its way to self-inflicted oblivion”. The Vatican commission report said: “The masculinity of Christ, and therefore the masculinity of those who receive Holy Orders, is not accidental but is an integral part of sacramental identity, preserving the divine order of salvation in Christ.” [ Krispy Kreme rage, Teresa Mannion, HomeToVote: The moments that made the Irish Internet truly greatOpens in new window ]At this stage, after 2,000 years of the masculinity of Christ, would a women even want to be a member of the clergy given the church’s long-held dedication to a leadership of men? You can appoint as many women as you want to important and lofty positions, but if they’re never allowed to break through the glass steeple then what loyalty do they owe? It’s a grim reality that the lifting of the vow of celibacy and ban on marriage for priests is more likely than women ever being ordained. Celibacy is a rule rather than a doctrine, and therefore open to change by the church. It dates back many centuries and has its roots in avoiding nepotism as well as a belief that single, celibate men can better devote themselves to their ministry. With such a vocational crisis in the church, how much longer can it hold? It’s mind boggling how much influence over issues of sexuality and reproduction a (supposedly) celibate and single workforce of clergy had over Ireland for so long. One thing that struck me during my time at the funeral and associated rituals was the age of all of those involved, in the prayers, the Mass, the communion. They were elderly, or close to it. It may be that the ship has already sailed on any hope of bringing young blood to leadership positions in the church, even if they ripped up the rule book in the morning.