From scheduled romps & bonking holidays to NEVER faking orgasms, our expert’s guide to having better sex in every decade

“I’M sorry, Kevin, this just isn’t doing it for me,” I told him, pushing his sweaty body off me. He stared back in utter disbelief. His trademark missionary moves had never failed him before – until now. Sun Sexpert Georgie Culley shares her ultimate guide to keeping it hot between the sheets at any age Credit: Olivia West Georgie’s twenties were littered with disappointing sex Credit: Olivia West In truth, I’d had more pleasurable smear tests. Unfortunately, it wasn’t a one-off. My twenties were littered with disappointing sex – and I was just as much to blame. Sign up for the Fabulous newsletter Thank you! For years, I’d faked orgasms, convincing men they were superstars between the sheets when, in reality, I was counting down the minutes until it was over. Looking back, I think faking orgasms is one of the most heinous crimes women can do. Not only are you denying yourself pleasure, but you’re sending a man out into the world believing his moves are flawless – leaving the next woman to endure bad sex too. Like so many women in their twenties, I was obsessed with making sure the man enjoyed himself. The pressure to find “The One” meant my own pleasure was an afterthought. And the statistics prove my experience is far from unique. Most read in Fabulous Statistics prove her experience is far from unique Credit: Olivia West To mark National Orgasm Day Georgie lays bare her own bedroom hiccups and reveal how to have great sex in EVERY decade Credit: Olivia West A staggering 85 per cent of women say they don’t reach orgasm through penetrative sex alone, while 67 per cent admit they’ve faked an orgasm in the bedroom. To mark National Orgasm Day – the annual celebration putting female pleasure firmly in the spotlight – I lay bare my own bedroom hiccups and reveal how to have great sex in EVERY decade… 20s – Speak up and own your pleasure My twenties were a whirlwind of excitement, adventure and insecurity. It’s the decade when you’re trying to build a career, find the man of your dreams and have mind-blowing orgasms too. But the reality is most of us are still figuring ourselves out – especially in the bedroom. Women in their twenties often fall into the trap of performative, or “spectator”, sex, where pleasing their partner becomes the priority, and their own pleasure takes a back seat. I know mine did. I had a high sex drive and was definitely adventurous, with plenty of casual flings and even a few same-sex encounters. While I had some amazing experiences, I was also guilty of being a people-pleaser; too often, I focused on making sure my partner enjoyed himself rather than speaking up about what I wanted. The truth is, most women don’t orgasm through penetrative sex alone, so there’s absolutely no shame in bringing in a helping hand, whether that’s a sex toy or lots of foreplay. The biggest lesson I learned was to stop staying silent. Men aren’t mind readers, and most find it a turn-on to hear what you like. If something feels good, tell them. If it doesn’t, guide them. Owning your pleasure isn’t selfish – it’s the key to better sex for both of you. 30s – Introduce scheduled sex Georgie says in her 30s her sex life had changed completely Credit: Olivia West Georgie says she’s having great sex with a toyboy – and she’s not alone. It’s one of the biggest trends among midlife women Credit: Olivia West For many of us, our thirties are the decade when we settle down. We’ve found a long-term partner, our careers are finally on track, and we’re far more confident in ourselves, in and out of the bedroom. By my thirties, my sex life had changed completely. The comfort of a committed relationship replaced the wild, experimental flings of my twenties. But then the biggest threat to our sex life happened – children. I had my first at 32 and my second at 35. We’d gone from having sex several times a day to once a month if we were lucky. Gone were the candles and sexy lingerie – instead our bedroom was filled with toys, tiny clothes and endless exhaustion. Parents are generally less satisfied with their sex lives than couples without children, studies show, and it’s easy to see why. For us, the answer was scheduling sex. It might not sound sexy, but setting aside one evening a week after the kids were asleep kept intimacy alive. In long-term relationships, desire often becomes “responsive” rather than passionate, spontaneous “just met” sex. You may not feel in the mood until your partner starts kissing or touching you. That’s why making time for intimacy matters. Although that relationship sadly ended, my thirties have brought the best sex of my life. I’m sexually confident, and most importantly, I’m not afraid to speak up. 40s – Add a little adventure At 39, I’m on the brink of my forties, and I have to admit, I’m feeling pretty smug about my sex life. While many of my married friends complain their libido has disappeared, mine has never been higher. I’m having great sex with a toyboy – one of the biggest dating trends of 2026 among midlife women – and I’m not alone. Women with partners at least seven years younger report significantly higher sexual satisfaction and even fewer menopausal symptoms than those whose partners are the same age or older, research shows. What’s more, experts say women often reach their sexual peak in their forties. By this stage, we know our bodies inside out, and we’re no longer willing to settle for mediocre sex. It’s also a decade of huge life changes. Many women leave unhappy marriages, and with children growing up and becoming more independent, many of us finally have the freedom to prioritise ourselves again. As I enter my 40s, I want to rediscover adventure. Your forties can be the decade you stop worrying about what other people think and start having the best sex of your life. For married couples, it’s the perfect time to start getting your sex life back on track. To spice things up, take sex out of the bedroom and book a saucy sexcation. Or, try experiencing roleplay or BDSM. If you’re strapped for time, have a sensual shower together and don’t forget to flirt. Flirting is just as important in long-term relationships as it is at the start. 50s – Good health = good sex Just when you think you’ve finally cracked your sex life, along comes the menopause. It’s no secret your fifties can be one of the most challenging decades for women. Hormones fluctuate, hot flushes and poor sleep can knock your confidence, and sex can suddenly feel very different. If you’re with a partner of a similar age, they’re likely to be dealing with changes too, with erectile dysfunction becoming more common in men during this stage of life. Despite these challenges, many women enjoy an exciting sex life well into their fifties and beyond. Falling oestrogen levels can cause vaginal dryness and thinning tissue, so a good quality water-based lubricant will become your best friend in the bedroom. Looking after yourself is just as important. Regular exercise boosts blood flow throughout the body – including to your pelvic area – which can increase arousal, upping your chances of orgasm. And despite the stereotypes, women in their fifties can look and feel incredible. Just look at Jennifer Lopez, Jennifer Aniston and Elizabeth Hurley, who continue to defy ageing. The more you prioritise your wellbeing, the more likely you are to keep enjoying a healthy, satisfying sex life for decades to come. 60s & beyond – bodies change, but desire doesn’t Think sex stops at 60? Think again. Many couples enjoy a vibrant sex life well into their twilight years. Generally, this is the decade where most of us retire – meaning we have more time for our partner and our love life. While our bodies naturally change with age, that doesn’t mean we lose our desire. Many over-60s are fitter and healthier than ever, and a few tweaks can make sex even more enjoyable. An intimacy cushion can make the missionary position more comfortable by supporting the pelvis, while swapping energetic positions for spooning can be kinder on ageing joints without sacrificing pleasure. Of course, health conditions become more common as we get older, and issues such as vaginal dryness or erectile dysfunction can affect intimacy. But these problems are often treatable. If sex has become painful or difficult, don’t suffer in silence; speak to your GP. Comment now