For years my weak bladder left me suffering humiliating incidents in public. But thanks to a daily pelvic floor training programme, I am finally beginning to beat it - and you can too

Just breathe, I tell myself, rubbing my sweaty palms together in a desperate prayer to the toilet gods.I’m standing in a queue to use the loo in my local M&S. I’ve got that awful hot and cold prickly feeling on my skin. I’m not in full panic mode, not quite yet, but my God, I feel sick.I’m squeezing my thighs together, my feet crossed at the ankle. I fantasise about shoving the elderly woman with a walking stick and the mum and toddler in front of me out of my way. Why, why is there only one cubicle?After an excruciating five minutes, I take up my position at the head of the queue but I must not let myself relax. I’ve done that before, and it’s not pleasant.When the old lady shuffles out, I give her a hasty smile and step in. The relief is euphoric.This isn’t my first rodeo. I’ve always had a sensitive bladder, which is exacerbated by anxiety, and am still haunted by the horrifying memory of wetting myself in front of a school friend aged 15.Now 43 and on the cusp of perimenopause, it’s only got worse with age. I’ve never given birth, so listening to friends share their experiences, I imagine my own predicament could be worse.These days, I rarely leave the house without a Flo Sensitive Bladder pad and some spare knickers in my handbag. I’ve always had a sensitive bladder and it’s only got worse with age, writes 43-year-old Alice Snape As many as 35 per cent of women in the UK suffer with incontinence or bladder control issuesI’m not alone; as many as 35 per cent of women in the UK suffer from incontinence or bladder control issues.But over the last decade, the number of public toilets in England has fallen by 14 per cent, creating what the Royal Society for Public Health has called ‘public toilet deserts’.It’s a nightmare for women like me. I’ve got an online database saved on my phone called ‘Toilet Map’ that shows nearby public loos, and often plan my days out around them.But their rarity means I’m often reduced on my morning dog walk to sneaking behind a bush.I regularly sneak past the signs shouting ‘For Customers Only’ in pubs or cafes. I’ve been known to pull the car over and relieve myself at the side of the road.Of course, with a bladder like mine, I’ve also had plenty of accidents. Putting my key in the lock as I finally make it to my front door after a nervous journey home sometimes feels like switching on a tap.To avoid accidents, I go as far as to not drink water when I’m unsure of where the nearest loos are on a day out, often ending up with headaches and even urinary tract infections. I’m far from the only one: bladder care company Jude found that 67 per cent of women have deliberately dehydrated themselves because public loos are as rare as a dodo.So after one too many embarrassing accidents, I’ve decided to take action. Surely, there must be a way to beat my bladder issues?Dr Ginny Ponsford, a GP and director at The Women’s Hormone Clinic, tells me there are two types of incontinence: stress (when you cough or jump) and urge (caused by an overactive or irritable bladder). I’m not sure which applies to me – probably both – so I hit it from every angle. Dr Ginny Ponsford, GP and director at The Women's Hormone Clinic, says there two types of incontinence: stress and urgeFor the former, I must strengthen my pelvic floor muscles like I build muscles in the gym. I honestly had no idea how, so I asked Pilates teacher Sophie Ritchie, of Disco Barre Studio in London, for help.She tells me to think of my bits in distinct sections and try to gain awareness of them as different muscles. I’ve got to imagine I’m in a lift, and squeeze them as I travel up ten floors of a building, before coming back down slowly.I’d best describe it as replicating what you’d do to hold in your wee (which historically, of course, I was very bad at) but over the course of a couple of weeks, after doing this for a few minutes every day, I feel a definite improvement in my bladder control.Bladder training is also recommended. Dr Ponsford explains that I need to reprogramme the signals from the bladder to the brain, so that my body doesn’t feel an urgent need to urinate at the first signal of a full bladder.So on days I’m working from home, when the urge first hits, I practise holding it in, starting at five minutes and then slowly building up to longer stretches of time. Slowly but surely, my bladder is starting to adjust to the feeling of being full – though I know not to push it too far.Equally, what you eat and drink is hugely important.‘Anything acidic, carbonated, alcoholic or containing caffeine can cause cystitis-like symptoms,’ explains pelvic health expert Dr Sarah Jenkins.It’s telling that many NHS trusts recommend that women struggling with their pelvic floor after birth avoid Diet Coke.I can’t give up coffee, as my first cup of the day is my reason for waking up, but I have limited my beloved Diet Coke to a rare treat. Please, I can’t change my personality that much. Yet even the small tweaks I’ve made have led to a clear, and swift, improvement when it comes to leaks.But still, I plead with you, dear Government, to invest in public loos. It really shouldn’t be too much to ask for – and you’ll reap the rewards from a gratified female population.