Fay Ripley: The pilot of Cold Feet bombed – then it went on to win awards

Born in Wimbledon, Fay Ripley trained at the Guildhall School of Music and Drama before her career took off when she starred as Jenny in the popular TV series Cold Feet. She has appeared in other TV shows including The Stretford Wives, I Saw You, and Suspects, as well as on stage, and in films such as A Mute Witness and Swede Caroline. Ripley is also an award-winning food writer, publishing books such as Fay’s Family Food, What’s For Dinner and Fay Makes It Easy. She lives in London with her husband and has two adult children. The pilot of Cold Feet bombed. Then it went on to win awards. Landing the role of Jenny in Cold Feet was a massive and pivotal moment in my life. But you don’t know it’s happening while it’s happening. When I read the script, I thought I was going to be up for the part of Helen Baxendale’s character – the sort of pretty one – and I was like, “What, you want me for the Northern down-to-earth, slightly odd one?” I did a reading with John Thompson, and we got on brilliantly. It was a great audition. I was cast in a pilot – the show went out and it bombed. It had a bad scheduling. But it did go on to win awards and then ITV re-showed it and it did well. There was a lot of luck involved. People around me didn’t always think my career would work out. I don’t think I ever thought of giving up. There were a lot of family friends patting me on the back, saying: “Oh, shame”, because I was in my late twenties and they were like, “You really should have done that secretarial course, like we said”. I was working on and off but Cold Feet was by far and away the biggest break I’d had. I didn’t have a plan B so I was stuck with plan A regardless of how long it took me. I once faked a nervous breakdown to get out of a TV show. I filmed the pilot of Cold Feet and then I auditioned to be the presenter of a Jerry Springer-type talk show. I loved it but I was very uncomfortable with the lack of support available for the contestants. I couldn’t handle that. It didn’t feel right. As that was blowing up, Cold Feet started going into its first and second series and I had to decide what to do. I couldn’t do it all. So, faking a nervous breakdown it was. I was really unconvincing but I was brilliant in the room [with the producers]. I cried, I probably shook. My agent said I was marvellous. But it must have been pretty obvious it was a lie when I started appearing on TV. Shorts I’m still close to my co-stars. There’s no WhatsApp group for the cast but there’s a group text. Hermione [Norris] and I recently worked together on a TV show, and I did a charity event with John, and then every now and then Robert [Bathhurst] and I will have a chat about cricket. We’re all really close. I juggle a lot of different work hats. My career is like a mantelpiece. It was empty, and I used to buy something new and put it on or there’d be a little trophy or a new picture in a frame. Now I’m just moving shit around. I literally just go, well, I’m going to put that vase over there. I’ll do that for a while. And then, presumably, at the end of all this, there’ll just be condolence cards. I’ve done a bit of presenting this year, a bit of acting, and a podcast. I love making documentaries. I’m pitching for another cookbook. Being a food writer was a profession waiting to happen for me. My mum married an Italian, and my dad married a German, so from a young age I had different plates of food to my friends. They thought I was a bit of a weirdo for that. Then, for a long time, my relationship with food was about eating out. When I had money, I blew it on good food, pretending to be grown-up and thinking how snazzy I was for going to a restaurant. Then, I had a family and started cooking food that I loved and found that became my greatest pleasure. It also dawned on me that I wanted to be happy when I worked. That is a very particular decision you have to make because it is a privilege. I don’t see it very often. You have to work quite hard to make that happen – and be lucky. I love acting but when you have small children, you’re not happy being away from home. But being a food writer at home? Tick. Happy. I was doing the thing I loved. I’m addicted to crisps – I eat them with everything. My crisp eating situation is out of control. Is there a crisp rehab? Even if I have chocolate, I have to have crisps with the chocolate. Yes, that means I like a crisp and a chocolate in my mouth at the same time. There’s not a snack or a course in a meal that’s not improved by crisps. I’m bordering on obsessive about clean food. It is a big expenditure for me but I’m pretty uncompromising about it now. As I get older, I can see what’s happening to the food on our supermarket shelves and it makes me stressed out. And so, I’m trying my best to buy clean food. I don’t throw just anything in my trolley anymore. I look at everything. It’s due to a lack of trust in the food industry. I no longer take for granted that somebody hasn’t sprayed my apple with chemicals. I’m terrible at exercise and health stuff. I’m terrible at everything I should be doing. I did discover open-water swimming a couple of years ago. I’ve lived near Hampstead ponds for 18 years. I always thought, why would you swim in that water? But then I went in and it was amazing. I’ve only done one winter all the way through, but it was amazing. It clears your head and gives you a level of peace that I hadn’t experienced before. But I’m not good at health stuff: I can’t treat myself to a massage because I’m just thinking, I should not be lying down for an hour. But then I can lose three hours on my phone. It’s such a ridiculous thing. I splashed out on some kind of red-light mask but only used it once. My husband and I are about to celebrate 25 years of marriage. I come from a family where everyone’s divorced. I only know divorce. Maybe that’s why I’m not divorced. He’s from Australia and has lived here since we’ve known each other, but we’re two people from opposite sides of the world, and I think we genuinely just got really lucky in finding the sort of person that you still love 25 years later. My friend paid for me to fly to New York to meet my husband. We met when he was filming in the UK but then he went to America. He called me from New York and said: “Why don’t you come out here?” But I couldn’t afford it. I remember thinking: “Wow, this unbelievably good-looking guy, who I’m not even going out with wants me to come to New York”. My best friend, Dixie Linder, who is a big producer now, had a work flight to America and she traded it in for two economy flights and that’s how I made it out there and then the rest is history. (Don’t worry, she got a mention at the wedding). Ripley is supporting Marie Curie, the UK end-of-life charity. For free information and emotional support for people living with a terminal illness and their family, friends, and carers, call for free on 0800 090 2309 or visit mariecurie.org.uk