Elaine Paige: At 78, I want to retire, but nobody will let me

Elaine Paige, 78, is an English musical theatre singer and actor, best known for playing Eva Perón in Andrew Lloyd Webber’s Evita. Her single “I Know Him So Well” with Barbara Dickson from the musical Chess remains the highest-selling record by a female duo. She has been nominated for five Laurence Olivier Awards, hosts Elaine Paige on Sunday on BBC Radio 2 and has just released her 23rd studio album, Miscellaneous Paige. Here, she looks back at the moments that made her, from leaving home to live in a commune at 18 to keeping fit in her seventies – and her ambition to fly a plane. Shorts When I was young, I just lived life and had a good time – sex, drugs and rock’n’roll. But now it’s all about exercise: keeping moving to stay supple and young. As you get older, you think more about your health than you ever did. I play tennis as much as I can. The 1960s and 70s were the most magical time to be alive. It was all about freedom, kindness, honesty, independence and equality. We were the first teenagers, the first baby boomers. Everything was a first. Sadly, now we’ve gone completely the other way from all the wonderful things the 1960s and 70s brought us. Everybody seems antagonistic, aggressive, angry and upset. Back then, you didn’t have to be sexually involved to live with men. It was about freedom and experiment. When I was 18, I told my mum and dad I was leaving home to live in a commune in Hampstead. My father said: “Who are you living with?” I think he expected me to say lots of other girls but, of course, it was mixed, which shocked my parents. To us, it was a new way of life. Theatre was my university. I was a nice girl from suburban Barnet, Hertfordshire – innately shy, and so full of self-doubt and emotion. Theatre It gave me the spirit of adventure, and that youthful sense of freedom and opportunity. I only took drugs because my peers did. We had all that wonderful music – the Beatles, Buddy Holly, the Hollies, the Humblebums. We’d sit on homemade beanbags, getting stoned, listening to Pink Floyd’s The Dark Side of the Moon, and Leonard Cohen. My mother used to say: “How can you listen to that man? He can’t sing.” I’d say: “No, mum, but he’s a poet.” In my twenties, I was always too short for every role. I’d get down to the final two or three of any audition, but then they’d say: “We like you a lot, but you’re too short.” I’m probably only about four foot eleven now, if that. I never made it to five foot – that was my goal. ‘I’ve never had a great deal of confidence. I’m quite a private, reserved person. Whatever you see is a front to hide the true me’ Fame was not something I ever desired. When it came, it was a terrible shock. I wanted Evita very badly – I knew it was a good part and thought I could do it justice – but I was nearly 30, still pretty naive, and living in my first flat in West Hampstead. I cried when I got Evita – but not tears of happiness, tears of fear. My mother was staying when my agent turned up unannounced, hiding a bottle of Dom Pérignon under her coat, to tell me I’d won the role. It was the most exciting, wonderful evening of my life. The next day, the press descended on my doorstep. We had to pull the blinds down and take the phone off the hook. It was like a scene from a movie. I realised my life had changed in an instant, and it frightened me. I thought: “How am I going to handle this?” I’ve never had a great deal of confidence. I’m quite a private, reserved person. Whatever you see is a front to hide the true me. I think that’s why I wanted to be involved in theatre because you can hide behind characters. I’m not a party person. I’m much happier at home, reading a book, watching telly or painting. I like my own company. I’m not afraid of being alone. I keep wanting to retire, but nobody will let me. I was cajoled into making this new record. My record company took me out for lunch and said: “Would you like to make another album, Elaine?” I said: “I’ve made 22 already! Why would I want to make another one at this age?” You can’t sing about unrequited love at my age. It’s ridiculous. But they suggested an album to celebrate my – I can’t believe I’m saying this out loud – 60 years in the business, so I started listening to songs I remembered from my youth, and hit on the idea of songs about how we feel differently at different stages of life. Why is it unseemly to want to live a real life? Diana Rigg once said to me: “There is more to life than being in the theatre.” She was right. I missed so much. Now I enjoy seeing friends, going for lunches, playing tennis three times a week. I was always in a theatre, so now I’m seeing the world and educating myself through new experiences. I can’t see myself performing live anymore. I’ve always wanted to fly an airplane. I have a few things on my bucket list. I might do one of those pilot simulators at Gatwick, but I don’t know if I’ll have the nerve. I’ve been on a hot-air balloon ride a couple of times. The last one, in Cappadocia, about three or four years ago, was nearly a disaster. We landed in a tree and it was very frightening. Elaine’s new album, Miscellaneous Paige, is out now