Dressing up

Op-EdArtificial intelligence may have sparked a new trend.I know I’ve been harping way too much about artificial intelligence, but it seems to be affecting just about every facet of life.Latest example: fashion.Really, fashion.Business Insider has reported that AI may be forcing lawyers “to think harder about what, exactly, makes them indispensable.”AI can do legal research, but it can’t dazzle a jury.Enter: high fashion, attorney-style.Yeah, I know what you’re thinking — robots can dress up and bling out too. But we’re not at that stage of the technology just yet. Humans, for the moment at least, have an edge on the personal persuasion front.I happen to be someone who has no fashion sense whatsoever. As I write this, I’m clad in a Harvey Birdman, Attorney at Law, T-shirt and a frayed pair of jorts. So maybe I’m missing something, but I have my doubts about the Business Insider assertion that lawyers dressing up “is part of how they show clients they are worth their hourly rate.”Is a jury really going to empathize with the peacock or peahen attorney strutting around the courtroom?I do, however, enjoy the concept of a lawyer fashion show. The Business Insider article is about New York’s best-dressed lawyers and there are nine “honorees” who apparently stood out among 46 nominations submitted by attorneys and readers.There are photos. My favorite is the one of a guy lying on his side on the floor, model-style, with one bent leg, gazing seriously at the camera. What looks like a large leather purse is positioned behind his straight leg.Why am I laughing? I shouldn’t be laughing.I may be jealous.There’s also a guy wearing a Yankees hat and distressed jeans while playing ping-pong and reading Federal Rules of Evidence.This is a supreme multitasker. Or maybe a robot. I don’t know.Artificial intelligence may be motivating humanity to do better. Or is it worse?Secret operations? Here’s a question you’ve almost certainly never considered: Do you think there’s a wave of secret sex changes in the public schools in Kansas?I’m guessing not.Despite this guess, the U.S. Justice Department has filed a federal suit — submitted by no fewer than eight attorneys — against the Unified School District No. 500 in Kansas City “to stop it from facilitating the secret ‘transitioning’ of children’s ‘gender identity’ at school without their parents’ knowledge or consent, in violation of the Family Educational Rights and Privacy Act.”There’s no mention of how many secret transitions there have been in Kansas City but there is a clue that there may have been at least one in the complaint: A district employee was recorded discussing “asking a student about his willingness to share information with his father, who is a preacher.”Definitely sounds like a kid who needs some help and the U.S. government is determined that they not get that help. Call in the army of lawyers!The suit, by the way, also says the district violates the Protection of Pupil Rights Amendment’s “guarantee that minor students will not be required to submit to any survey, analysis, or evaluation revealing sensitive information without prior written consent from their parents.”I have no idea how that applies to students voluntarily asking for help. Are students in Kansas City being forced to secretly declare they’re trans?There’s evil in Kansas City. You can decide for yourself who the evil people are.Subscribe to our free newslettersOur weekly newsletter Closing Arguments offers the latest about ongoing trials, major litigation and rulings in courthouses around the U.S. and the world, while the monthly Under the Lights dishes the legal dirt from Hollywood, sports, Big Tech and the arts.Additional Reads